Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Go Ahead and Laugh Away, After All It's a Holiday :)

Info coming soon for Episode 6 of Date to Mate. It was a blast to film, of course. My character's situation is getting a little more complex, which I love, and I can't wait to see what happens for her in the future. I'm really hoping for some serious conflict between me and my man in the show. I want some complicated relationship with serious screaming fights. Maybe I throw a Menorah and he ducks out of the way just in time... I don't know that ShalomTV would go for it, but I would love it. And, really, that's what matters. ;)

We closed Swingin Threesome to a rowdy and awesomely responsive audience. It's so lovely when you feel the support coming from the crowd and there's no doubt in your mind that they are fully entertained. We had a freakin' great time on the stage. At one point, one of the actors is to enter with a bloody nose, then I enter and usually I can't see the problem until he turns his head, to which I react and ask if he's okay...yadda yadda. Well closing night I come onstage to find that he had basically dunked his head in the fake blood and it was dripping all over his face. I felt my stomach tighten. I fought against the corners of my mouth trying desperately to turn upward. I tried my hardest. I took a deep breath and asked if he was okay with as much control as was possible (which was not much). The other actress on stage started laughing, and the two of us lost it. The audience went crazy, laughing uncontrollably to the point of gasping. It. Was. Awesome. I got through my lines and exited. I stood backstage waiting for my next entrance listening to the sounds of the actress left onstage trying to regain her composure. She was crying, she was laughing so hard. I would hear complete silence followed by her snorting and the whole audience losing their shit with laughter. We had a great time, the audience had a great time...Don't get me wrong, this is usually not a good thing - losing composure onstage in front of an audience. But the environment and the nature of the play allowed for this to happen without much consequence. By the time we lost our shit, the audience was already in on the joke. We left the stage saying, "God, that was fun!" which is the best feeling in the world. (And thank you to my friends that came to support. I'm glad I got to share that fun with you. It means so much that you all come!)

I worked some more outside this past week, as well, and I have to say my attitude about life during my shifts was much better the previous week. I was a bit of a Negative Nelly. It is interesting, though - Once I started connecting with strangers on the street, getting reactions from a simple smile, my mood did improve. It's just hard to get to that place mentally when you're about to physically lose your digits to frostbite. Yeah, yeah, yeah..."Mind over matter" and all that bullshit. Some days you just have to get through, and you're lucky at that. It is what it is. And it was a bad attitude. What can ya do?

I've since come home to the ATL to spend some awesome family and friend time over the holidays. My family's had some unfortunate bumps in the road this Holiday season, but it's things like that that remind us of what we have. We're lucky to be healthy and to have each other. What's bad could always be that much worse, you know? Today I enjoyed a beautiful White Christmas (crazy!) complete with baking Gingerbread and tons of presents, food and family.



















Not much is going on in NY the next few days, so I've decided to stay through the new year. I'll get rejuvenated and hopefully go back to the city with a new found energy to hit the ground running (and I do mean literally. My ass needs cardio like nobody's business. I've been eating this holiday like it's my J.O.B...;). But in all seriousness, I would like to go back to NY with a clear plan. I know I need to print some more headshots. I need to do mailings. I need to get some good things going. Reach out to some contacts, get over it and ask for some favors. Lord knows I'd do them for other people... Huh. Look at that. I think I may have just stumbled upon a New Year's resolution... :)

Merry Christmas everyone. Have a wonderful holiday filled with family and friends.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Shake it, Little Mute Girl

In fact, I was getting sick. I have now been voiceless on and off for two days. I've spent plenty of time in bed, drinking tea and pumping my body full of ridiculous amounts of vitamins. I can't get sicker. No siree.

The first review is in for Swingin' Threesome. It's a positive review, so congrats to all my castmates who are awesome and kick ass continually. And, as a follow up to my last post, I did get a positive shout out in the review so I guess I didn't suck quite as badly as I thought. Though, I know I can be better...so...there's Monday. And I intend to kill it Monday. BTW. :)

See the review here!
http://nytheatre.com/showpage.aspx?s=anyo11713

I also received a lovely letter today from one of the vendors on my shopping tour. He said he also sent a letter to my boss and wanted to tell me that I was the best tour guide! He said he loves that I work so closely with the tourists helping them shop and dress themselves well. He says I really take pride in the tour. I'm very excited to receive the compliment. It means a lot to me mostly because I really don't "sell" anything on the tour, I just give my honest opinion and the ladies end up looking and feeling fabulous! So nice of him to take notice.

With all this sickness, I've been a bit tired and cranky - which is a great combo for flyering in the freezing weather. So, I've been trying to combat my mood with the saying, "fake it 'till you make it." Example: I couldn't talk, so I was on sign duty (for those of you who don't know what this means... it means I carry a sign while the others pass out flyers. Tricky, I know). I wasn't interacting with people, clearly, and my team was a little down that day seeing as no one could feel their toes, so I put a smile on my face and... decided to get my dance on. I choreographed a little street number, making sure to incorporate the sign, of course. Running Man, here. Jazz Hands, there. A little drop it like it's hot ATL style. Scrubbin' the ground. I wanted to scream on the inside, but on the outside I was a dancin' fool. And I have to say, fakin' it worked. My body temporarily warmed a degree or two, my friends were smiling. Strangers had mixed feelings about my moves, but eff them. Most were accepting of the little mute girl dancing around like an ass for a lunchtime showcase, fakin' it 'till she was makin' it true.

I'm filming the next episode of Date to Mate tomorrow. Getting back to work - Love that. I'm a little concerned about my voice, but what can ya do? I was able to get the eyebrows done and the hairs cut today. So, I may sound like a Yeti, but at least I won't look like one in my close-ups. ;) I'll let you know how the shoot goes.

Busy weekend ahead. Perfect for getting some momentum and confidence back. Now if I could just get my voice back...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Maybe I should Ask Stella...

I'm having an off month. I gotta get my groove my back. I'm definitely not my usual punchy self, and it's starting to get on my nerves. Somehow my confidence has been wounded and I'm not sure why or how to fix it. I seem to have lost the momentum that I had going, and I suddenly have very little energy. I'm thinking I may be getting sick...

But I do need to find a little inspiration. Go see some good movies, listen to some new music, read something that will nudge me back into the usual motivated self that I'm used to. I planned for Sunday to be a day to get my creative juices flowin' (that saying grosses me out, BTW), but I ended up passing out in the process and taking a much needed, but unplanned nap. But maybe it's time for a mental health day of inspiration... or at least half day.

Our second performance of Swingin' Threesome was Monday night. It was an odd energy flowing on the stage, and I have to say I did not feel all that fabulous about my own performance. I couldn't even tell you why, I just left the stage with a feeling of disappointment in myself (did I mention it's an off month??). This was particularly fantastic because most of my friends came to see the show that night...and so did a few reviewers. So that's freakin' awesome news! My friends said they enjoyed it and couldn't sense any awkwardness, but they're my friends. They lie. ;)

It is very hard having a full week between performances. It disrupts any helpful momentum we, as a cast, develop. Next week should be better, hopefully, because we have two shows in a row. Then we close. Ha. Isn't that always the case?

This week is cold as crap (astute observation, don't you think?). And yesterday I was outside passing out cups for free coffee/promotional materials for the opening of a new cafe. How does wind chill of 8 degrees sound to you? ...oh not pleasant? That's weird, because it was totally fun to lose all motor skills in my hands and have shooting pains through my wrists for the rest of the day. Totally. Fun. My friend and I were working together, and were very close to losing our minds. We started doing lunges and singing little ditties about grand openings to passersby (and, um... if I was singing out loud to strangers... you know there was some major mental breakdown going on...). We made it through and I've since thawed my extremities, which just means that I'll be doing this whole shebang again later in the week. My mother actually sent me a text offering me money not to stand out in the cold. I'm considering asking how much she's offering...

Shopping tours coming up this week. Hopefully some happy tourists can help me out of my lull. I need to find some energy, get my confidence back. I need to make some good shit happen. Pull it together, Sarah. No one's gonna do it for you.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Only in NYC

You know how I know it's officially winter?

I know because I had my first shift where I contemplated suicide by running into oncoming traffic while standing on the street corner passing out flyers. I know I said this last winter, but I swear I've never been so cold in my life. 3 pairs of socks, leggings under my pants, 4 shirts, a fleece, a puffy vest (for the record - the fleece and puffy vest are part of the uniform. I'm firmly against both articles of clothing in my everyday wardrobe....just...for the record :), two pairs of gloves, a beanie and a baseball cap mean nothing in this weather. Nothing. By the end my fingers hurt so badly that I had them in fists inside my gloves and I was freaking people out by handing them flyers seemingly from my palms. After two hours like that, soup has never tasted so good. It's like being reborn....I would imagine.

Swingin' Threesome opened on Monday, and aside from a few minor mishaps everything went well. One of the actors fell over while trying to drag another off stage and it was all I could do to keep a straight face. He toppled backwards with the girl landing limply on top of him, as she WAS supposed to be dead. And I AL-most lost it. In another play a girl dropped a line that feeds into another actor's line, that feeds into my line. So, after an awkward silence and my pouring a lot of water into two glasses, we just embraced the awkward, I skipped over that part and continued on hoping that they could pick up where I left off. Luckily it worked and the two continued on fairly seamlessly. Aside from these little bobbles, we got through the show and the audience seemed to enjoy it, which is really what's important.

My Commercial class was canceled, due to a family emergency. I was bummed, but I'm sure we'll reschedule. I sent an email expressing my concern/my interest in rescheduling so we'll see when that happens. Probably after the New Year.

Which brings me to today. It started out quite interestingly. It was the first day that I've cursed Williamsburg, for a hot minute, with a raw hatred that made even me question my sanity. I had two tours to give today, the first being a group tour from midtown. I left in what I thought was plenty of time to get uptown, print some materials from Kinkos, and grab a necessary coffee before meeting my tour at 9:50 am. I walked down into the train station to a waiting L train towards Manhattan shoved full of people. It was standing there for quite some time so, I pulled my headphones out of my ears just in time to hear, "There will be no L service between Bedford Avenue and 8th Avenue." I'm sorry. WHAT??!! I asked the guy next to me if this was some sick joke they liked to play to mess with the hipsters every once in a while (I thought it was a funnier joke than he did...), and he assured me that that was not the case. I quickly exited the station to what was mass hysteria in the streets. Skinny jean clad legs running in every direction. There was chaos in Brooklyn. It looked like the scene from a disaster movie...you know minus the blood, and the smoke and the crying babies.

I immediately spotted a gypsy cab and ran to flag him down. I noticed a girl in a near panic attack on the other side of the street and yelled to her asking if she wanted to share. She agreed, and somehow in the time she crossed the street we picked up two other strangers to join us in the trek across the bridge. It took FOREVER to cross the bridge, traffic was so horrific. But I really did have a lovely time with Noah, Rachel and Leona in the ride over. They were very nice people and I learned a lot about Rachel taking care of babies at day care, life for Leona's family in Mexico City, and Noah's awesome trip to Seattle last summer. He got to do a lot of boating... Only in New York City...

I made it to work without a minute to spare. I think I spent more money on cabs than I made giving the tour, but the smiling tourists appreciated my services which means a lot. No matter how shitty my morning was, I was still able to make some people's vacations even more enjoyable. And I met a few nice people in the process. I'm exhausted, but nothing a nap and a hot shower can't cure. I'm super excited to get my Holiday party on tonight. I need it! ...but not too much. I do have to organize/give a tour to another group of 600 highschoolers tomorrow.

A hangover is not an option. I certainly need to be on my game for that mess! ...Cheers to that! :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Smart, Sexy, Sassy and Standing in Spew.

Last week I handed out some salad samples, gave some tours, and tech-ed a show...among other things. Tuesday morning I had an email in my inbox that there was a last minute spot open in a workshop about marketing yourself as an actor. I was free at night, so I said, what the hell! I'm glad I did, too. I made some new contacts, learned a few things, and even signed up for a commercial class coming up this week. I didn't learn anything ground breaking in the workshop, but it was really nice to have some one-on-one guidance about headshots and resumes, networking and marketing materials. I realized I do need to make a few changes. And, this workshop helped me see how other people see me. It used to be that I was the naive ingenue most of the time. But I've evolved into the smart, subtly sexy, sassy girl. It's interesting to think about how the perception of me has changed. Now it's just what I do with this information that's important. I have a monologue that tends to get me the naive roles, but I've yet to find a good one that really nails the smart sexy girl. Something to work on.

Thursday was all sorts of hellish. It started with leaving my phone in a cab Wednesday night, and spending the very early morning hours on my friend's phone with 311 and various police precincts trying to track it down. The guy at 311 had the nerve to ask me, in a tone reserved for first graders, "Did you try calling it?" Well Thank God for THAT GUY! Of course I tried calling it, but thanks for patronizing me in my time of crisis, GUY. The night was a disaster, but I did end up talking to a very nice PoPo Officer at 4:30 am that had my phone in his possession. Swell. So I hopped in a cab with a very nice Australian friend and we made our way to the Upper East Side to retrieve my precious phone. (Before some of you judge me on my love for my technology... I know it's stupid how much I rely on that thing, but I can't help it! I had no alarm, no numbers, nada. And I was in a bit of a panic. So, I'm going to embrace my reliance on technology. It's what keeps me connected to the people in my life. Nothing wrong with that! So there.)

After 3 hours (maybe) of sleep I was up again to give a shopping tour. I was waiting outside in the FREEZING cold for about 20 min when I decided to call (because I could) the only number I had for the client. Her husband answered and said, "Oh no! You didn't hear? Her bus was delayed 4 hours..." Umm...what!? I got her cell number and after about an hour of trying to reach my boss/figuring out a plan to salvage her tour, we decided on meeting about halfway through the route whenever she got in. So I went BACK downtown and posted up at a Starbucks waiting (I ran into Sheryl Crow and had a nice convo with her about her son not running out the door and into the street....I swear. This happened. Weird day.)

After the tour I was on my way to a dress rehearsal for Swingin' Threesome. I was exhausted, to say the least. My eyes were burning and my face hurt from the fake smile I had plastered on it all day. When I got on the train I was reading texts from my boss, and not really paying attention. I headed through the doors and around to the two seater bench on the left. All of a sudden I hear about 7 people in unison go, "Ooooohhhhhhh." You know where it starts high and slowly descends (somehow everyone stays at the same pitch. It's a mystery how it happens. Kind of like how yawns are contagious??...). I looked up and realized everyone was looking at me. One woman slowwwly pointed to my boots. I looked down to see what the draw was, and....I was standing in a puddle of puke... Well, add that to my lucky day! I stepped out and immediately started laughing. There comes a point where everything is funny. And, lets be honest it could be worse - I could have been wearing flip flops. No one laughed with me...but whatever. I'm getting used to that.

Dress rehearsal went well considering I wanted to curl up in the fetal position upstage right. We got through it without any major mishaps. In one of the one acts (which we have not rehearsed nearly enough...) I come in and out of the scenes repeating the same lines with slight changes every time, filling water glasses, taking orders and bringing dishes on and off. I feel like I should have it down by now, but I am having some serious trouble remembering what comes next. It may be the hardest play to memorize I've ever seen. Every time gets better, and I've written the damn thing about a hundred times (memorizing technique)... I'm trying!

This upcoming week is busy busy! Opening a show, commercial workshop, tours, promos, holiday parties... Bring it on! I'm so over the first week of December.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Rain on a Parade is Nothing

I started the day with a very productive laundromat visit. I just bought a backpack/duffel hybrid that got the toting job done without any major problems. And, I devised a plan that maximized wash/dry time with a run over the Williamsburg bridge. I was really proud of myself for my time management.

I loaded my busted Ipod with newly downloaded Christmas tunes and headed into the city for a full day of running around. I was in a great mood, very motivated, the weather was beautiful for traipsing around the city. And then, people started trying to crap on my parade (What? I know that's not how the adage goes, but here in NYC people don't just rain on your good mood, that would be manageable. No people here take big ol' dumps on it, laugh and then brag to their friends about how big it was.... too much? eh, oh well.) I had some stuff to deal with from some ungrateful people, I got a nasty message from someone else that really pissed me off/hurt my feelings and I may have had few tears in front of the Bed Bath and Beyond where all I needed to do was buy a new shower head for my Goddamn apartment that goes from scalding hot to freeze-your-nipples-off cold in the matter of a second. The hot dog man was staring, a homeless guy started yelling obscenities at me- Dude! Seriously? I'm crying here. I got off the phone with my Mom, who was helping me with one of the situations and checked my email to find a few friends had commented on my last post. And through the tears, in front of the BB&B I smiled. A huge, uncontrollable smile (thank you friends :). I think the hot dog man thought I was schizophrenic, but whatever. I decided to move on with my day with a smile on my face. And f*ck everyone who wasn't okay with that.

I had a reading with a new theater company tonight. The director saw one of my shows a while back and invited me in to read a new play at a playwright's forum. I jumped at the opportunity, and picked up the script after my showerhead run to have a chance to read it beforehand. I was reading the part of Hazel "the Caucasian lover" I was the white girl dating a black guy in 1968. It was a good play, I had a great time reading. I always wonder how animated to be during a reading. Let me set the stage (so to speak) for you non-actory folk: Chairs are arranged in a semi-circle and actors are seated according to character relationships (example-I was seated next to the guy I was "dating"). In front of us were chairs filled with writers (one, the writer of the play we read) directors, some company people etc. And the play is simply, read. Some people go all out throwing their voices and doing big arm movements...awkward, if you ask me. We're in a small room, sitting down, very close to one another. I try to stay as truthful and down to earth as possible - but I'm sure this is all a matter of opinion. Everyone was super nice. I even ran into a friend I did a show with and hadn't seen in a while. We were ushered out fairly quickly, which was a bit odd that we didn't stick around for discussion but I think they needed to get out early. Who knows if anything will come from these readings, but I've been exposed to people that I previously didn't know, which is the point. And you never know who is sitting in that room...

Afterwards I picked up some leftover stuff at my old apartment, so hopefully I never have to set foot in there again. All in all, once I decided to say F you to Negative Nancys today that just wanted to bring down my parade with a big smelly bang, I had a very productive and satisfying day. :) Good work.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Picking up the Pieces

I've been rehearsing for the upcoming show, working and trying to pull my life together in the new place for the past few weeks. I've had some interesting experiences both in my work and in my personal life. I'm adjusting to a new phase that my friends have dubbed, "Single Sarah." I basically haven't been without a bf in 5 years, so this is taking some getting used to. I don't date. I'm horribly awkward on a "nice to meet you" one-on-one basis. And I also have yet to perfect the whole art of the single girl-single boy number exchange. I'm a horrible liar, so I try to avoid it at all costs since most people can see right through me anyway (I think this is why I'm an actor. I love the truth. As if you couldn't tell from my brutal honesty and flair for TMI). Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what to say to the men I'm not so interested in. You know, other than, "Sorry, Charlie. I don't want to give you my numba because I'll end up screening your shit anyway." Because, well, that's just mean. So I'm looking for a more acceptable version of that...let me know if you come up with anything.

We've been rehearsing for the upcoming show at a fancy-schmancy apartment that belongs to someone's girlfriend's mom (or something like that). It's big enough for some of our larger group rehearsals and free, so that's where we set up shop. We all have to take off our shoes and the director rolls up the rug before we start. We try to move all things breakable....Well, last weekend we were in the middle of a fairly hectic scene, everyone was into it, it was the first time we had done it as a whole...Things were going great and my Che revolutionary moment was just on the horizon when all of a sudden I saw the director's face contort, all the actors facing upstage started to make a "ooohooouhhh" sound in unison, one girl smacked her hand to her face leaving only her bulging eyes visible. I turned to look in the direction of the back wall in time to see one of my cast mates sliding across the floor in his socks, arms outstretched in an attempt to save what looked like a very expensive piece of artwork before it hit the deck. The room held our breaths as he slammed into the wall, and the strange but clearly valuable angel sculpture and vase full of flowers that was next to it shattered into a million pieces on the floor of one of the nicest NYC apartments I've ever been in (it's rumored that Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have an apt in this building). We all froze. I felt like I was going to throw up. We heard the apartment owner running to the door of her bedroom. She swung open the door and stood there looking at the poor kid soaking wet from the vase water surrounded by bits of angel carcass. A leg here. A wing there. It was sickening. We couldn't move. No one said anything... Finally, after what seemed like hours the woman said in a low, incredulous voice, "That's a fortune...A fucking fortune. It's a fortune...That was a fortune..." She just kept saying it. Over and over. "That's a fucking fortune," her hand on her forehead. After moments of time standing still, somehow people started moving, picking up pieces of expensive angel bits. The cast gathered our things and left the director to remedy(?) the situation. Oh my God. I honestly could have yacked all over that perfectly waxed floor (but that would have been very unhelpful because then we'd have been left to clean up both the sculpture and the vomit...)

I'm not really sure what the end of that story is. We finished rehearsal elsewhere, but spent most of the time trying to shake the disaster that just occurred. Last I heard the woman was going to "see about insurance." It was apparently from one of the most famous artists in Mexico and is a one of a kind, irreplaceable sculpture. I'm pretty sure that artwork was worth more than my life. Actually, I know so. My Iphone was just appraised by the oh-so-amused Radio Shack employee at $33.18. My Ipod (which has gone only in one direction and only on shuffle for probably the last year) was quoted at a whopping $4.79. My furniture is Ikea, my TV is broken so everyone on it looks like a robot, the zoom on my camera sticks to one side, and my lamp is so furcrumpled (that's a Jewish word?) that it slumps over like it needs antidepressants. If I ever heard the price of that artwork, I'm sure it's a number that my broke-ass brain couldn't even comprehend. I could throw up now just thinking about it. But don't worry... I've gotten good in the past few months at controlling that urge. :)

In the past few weeks I've also given shopping tours to rich bitches, Highschool boys, and recessionistas. I've passed out some free shit on the street. I've checked in some TV personalities to a private party. I've dressed as Alice in Wonderland. I've put together furniture, I've danced, I've laughed, (not gonna lie) I've cried, I've written, I've been pulled together, I've been a mess. I've averted jury duty. I've become slightly more acclimated to Brooklyn- even ran over the Williamsburg bridge a few times. I've spent some awesome time with my family. I've given thanks- I've eaten like I was being paid by the chew. It's been good. I'm still trying to figure things out. Understand where I'm going and, to be honest, where I've been. But I'll get there. Until next time...

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Last of the Shit...and the Fan.

I had the foresight to schedule an audition the day after I got back from Nashville, so at least I wouldn't feel like a total loser upon my return. It was my first audition in over a month, and I was surprisingly nervous. Lucky for me, it was reading sides. I did a fine job. They asked me to do my velociraptor impression, which is always a bit awkward. But, I have to tell you no one can forget an auditionee who jumps off of a chair and runs around with her lips turned inside out, hissing like a maniac (Wouldn't you like video)... Anyhow, I felt okay about it. Mostly I was just glad that I was getting out there and moving on. And, even better... I was cast! So I will be playing a sassy and smart revolutionary, and a clumsy, repetitious waitress in an upcoming one act series in December. (info coming soon)

I had a little over a week before I was to move and I was stressing. My hair was falling out by the handful, I had a perpetual stomach ache. Yeah, not cute. I scheduled movers, packed, worked, rehearsed and reintroduced myself to my group of friends that hadn't seen me in ages. I had so much stupid bullshit to deal with regarding my soon-to-be old apartment. There's supposed to be a clean break when you move from somewhere, not this odd middle period I was living in where I got asked all the stupid questions that should be directed at the landlord. I think the girls that moved in weren't used to living in a NYC apartment, also: "The dryer takes a little too long to dry a small load of bed sheets." I swear this was one complaint I heard. Um...Hello?! YOU HAVE A F*CKING DRYER! It will, in fact, dry your freakin' sheets and you won't even have to walk four blocks to pick 'em up afterward! ...Sorry for the rant, but seriously - People are idiots.

I also had quite the experience dealing with what I like to call: Sarah vs. Giant Closet. Background - My ex/ex bf is from Texas. When boys from Texas build things, they are meant to last. Don't know if you knew this, but it is fact. He built a closet for my old roommate that the new girls decided they didn't want in the place...and I wasn't going to get my deposit back unless I got rid of it. And so, I found myself at the Home Depot. Asking Melvin for a reciprocating saw. For demolition. Melvin explained to me that saws are "serious business," (Thanks, Melvin. Had no idea...) and showed me the equipment I was to use for the job.

Wood chips everywhere. My hair was covered. My apartment was covered. A. Mess. I'm still not quite sure how it happened, but I had the pile of wood and the blisters to prove it. There was nothing safe about my technique (ha. I giggled just calling it that. I'm not sure that balancing wood between my coffee table and the couch and stabilizing it with my foot, praying that I could stop the saw before it hit the floor or my shin can be called technique) but whatevs, by the end I did have about ten garbage bags filled with closet parts. I cleaned up the mess, packed up my power saw and continued to shove my life into boxes.

I moved on Halloween. Two ill-tempered, but witty movers and a shit load of stairs later... I was a Brooklynite. Well, sort of. I was yet to have an actual room. The hooker that was moving out of my new apartment was taking her sweet time. So I stayed with some good friends until she vacated.

The night I settled into my new room I had a mini breakdown, not gonna lie. I sat down on the end of my bed, alone in my new Brooklyn bedroom and was finally able to think. About everything. I had been going going going since the shit hit the fan and never really took the time to sit back and let it affect me. My chest was tight and my stomach was turning, but I guess I had a major sense of accomplishment at the same time. I took care of my shit - mostly on my own. At the very least, it felt good to know that I was capable. And lets look on the bright side-my new apartment is across the street from a liquor store. So, I poured myself a drink and sat on my bed staring at some very naked walls, letting it all sink in, just waiting for whatever was coming next.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Shit/Fan, Part Two

I began packing for Nashville before I ever unpacked from Atlanta. Basically, I took out my bridesmaid's dress and put in my Frog Town uniform (this will make more sense in the coming months but, gist: it's my Big Country Blues wardrobe...). Peeled my eyelids open at 3:30am, anxious to get the hell out of the most depressing apartment on the planet. And hopped my happy/drowsy ass in a cab to make that 6am flight. Ugh!

I met up with my fellow actor at the airport and we were on our way. Napped a bit on the way, caught up with my favorite red headed cast member and basked in the glory of getting out of NYC...to run away from the shit...again... But, whatever, this time it was for work!

Nashville was an amazing time. Spent the days frolicking (sometimes literally) around town filming. Spent the nights listening to music and dancing our faces off. We worked all day and hung out into the night. Woke up and did it again the next day. Nashville's a funny town. I'd never been, even though I grew up three hours away. In the sense that everyone here in NY is an actor, everyone in Nashville is a singer...even if they're not. I heard two demos in one night from some drunk guys at a bar (I wonder how that would go over here if some guy whipped out a video of his monologue...). And, it turns out you can bedazzle anything. Especially if it's denim. Who knew?

Filming went well. On the day of my birthday (which was celebrated wonderfully later in the night by the cast and crew), my limits were tested with a FULL day of car shots.. Thank the Lord I drove some when I was in the ATL, because mounting a God-Only-Knows-How-Expensive camera on the car and having the DP (Director of Photography for the non-biz peeps) breathing down my neck was nerve wracking enough. Adding that I hadn't driven in over a year would have put me over the median and into oncoming traffic. I spent the day holding my breath and being re-assured by my oh-so-helpful cast mates that my life would be over if I effed up that camera. Thanks, friends. :) But in the end, I made it through without killing anyone or any expensive pieces of equipment. Thank you, Jesus.

(With Jeremy McComb and Shane Allen. The three of us trying to stay sane during 8 hours of filming in the car)

The work was great, and I'm super excited to see the end result. I'm currently still going through withdrawal. It's always hard when you become attached to your character and then have to say goodbye. Sounds weird, but it is kinda like losing a friend. You get to know her so well, and then she's gone so quickly. It's even harder when you miss the production just as much. The people and the energy. I loved every second of being a part of that project and am very grateful for the opportunity (Thank you Brian). I only hope that I added to the awesomeness of the whole thing. That my job was done well. I have such a place in my heart for all of those boys (although I have to tell you...hanging out with a bunch of boys is bizarre. Sometimes the jokes were so dirty, I didn't even understand them. And some of the behavior I'm still trying to figure out/recover from....Ass slapping contest, anyone??)

(Last shot of the series with my favorite red head and very talented actor Shane Allen)

I left Nashville feeling a whole mess of things. Fulfilled and yet empty. Excited and full of dread. Needless to say, I was a slight headcase. Back to NYC I went to pick up the pieces. Onward, but certainly not upward. At least not for a while...


Stay tuned. Third and final Part comin' soon...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

When The Shit Hits The Fan, Part One

Where do I even start? I guess I'll start on a high note with my Brother's wedding. For how much stress and hell went on before hand (remind me never to have a big wedding. Drunk in the backyard with some lanterns, food, family and friends. That's me...), it really was wonderful. In the end, everyone danced and had a blast. My speech went well, my dad's speech was amazing. The best man made my whole family smile. It was great. One of those times where you look around at the people in your life and realize what matters. As cheesy as it is and how ever much it makes me wanna gag to write that, that's how it was. Everyone looked amazing, everyone was happy (once all the shit was taken care of, getting to that point took a whole lot of self-medication...). We had a fabulous time. And then...

...I came back to NY.

The shit show that was my apartment took me by utter surprise. On some level I knew it was coming. But, really, no amount of preparation could have eased me into four strangers living in my place and a room that never actually belonged to me packed with my stuff like I should be on that show Hoarders: Buried Alive. My life resembled that of a TLC freak-show. F*cking Swell.

I suddenly had no boyfriend, I hadn't seen my friends in so long I forgot what they looked like, I had a stranger's room shoved full of everything I own, and nowhere to live after Oct 31...FML. So, I did what any normal girl would do in this situation... I sat on my living room floor and cried. I was what one might call "a hot mess." And to make a ridiculously shitty situation even more ridiculous AND shitty - I had no idea that one of the strangers inhabiting my apartment was home at the time. ...Awkward! Way to introduce yourself, Sarah.

I had just spent a month ignoring real life. I was basically drunk the whole time (Not because I needed to check into Betty Ford, all you people that just jumped to conclusions. But, because three weddings in a row simply don't leave you enough time in between to fully detox before you have another delicious drink in your hand. Not my fault! I was just celebrating the joining of two people...over and over and over again), I was making bad and sometimes hilarious decisions. Hell, I was having a great time. And then New York sucked me violently right back down to Earth. This city's helpful like that....

I had three days before I left again for Nashville. And I WAS really looking forward to that trip. Another welcome escape from reality. (details from this coming in Part Two)

I spent the three days moving/packing boxes, just trying to make some sort of order out of chaos. Not to mention, uncover my bed so I could effing sleep in the process. I had a couple leads on apartments through friends of friends. And after losing one apartment share with two guys because I'm a chick, I found two girls in Brooklyn who needed someone to move in.
Enter. Me.

I met one of the girls. She seemed normal. Space was good. A little rough around the edges, but who can be picky when they're moments away from cuddling up with the crazy on the corner, peeing in a subway grate, and wiping with an amNY. I'll take it!

And so, I was to be a Brooklynite. Williamsburg-er to be exact. Mixed feelings here. I'll have to dodge super snobby hipsters on my way to the sometimes unreliable L train. I'll probably have to buy an unlimited metrocard and I bet the trendy little organic groceries are too expensive to support my fruit addiction...But I could work with that. I hoped.

I had a long way to go until I was actually settled in my new place. I had a lot coming at me. But first... I was going to do what I loved, in Nashville, with amazing people. My life may have been a mess and I was overwhelmed, to say the least, but I was blessed. I just had to keep reminding myself that....

Part Two of "When the Shit Hits the Fan" coming shortly. I swear it won't take a month. Hiatus officially over. :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm on a Hiatus

Well, I'm home. It's a weird feeling when you come back and things look nothing like they did when you left them. Shopping centers are torn down, houses are built, friends have babies, everyone's getting older. I feel a little like life is speeding up. Shit.

When I'm in NY I forget the details about home that I miss. Like...squirrels actually being afraid of people, the sound of the wind in the trees, the fact that EVERYONE in the neighborhood waves to each other (who are these people waving at me?? :) I also forget how fantastic driving is. Love it. Windows down. Radio up. Done. It's very relaxing (once I figure out how to use the car again and release the death grip that I have on 10 and 2).

I've been able to spend some time with old friends, make some new ones, drink a little too much, laugh a ton. It's been good. I'm totally ignoring the fact that my life is a mess when I return to NY, but really what can I do from here in GA except worry, anyway. Everyone seems to have different advice - Move to LA, stay in GA (my future sister-in-law was quick to list all the projects currently filming in the Atlanta area and, you know, there are tax breaks...). But I don't think I'm ready to leave the city. I started this jam in NY and I would like to get somewhere with it. Make it look like something...

In the meantime, my brother is getting married this weekend, which is nuts. I'll be helping out the fam with all the last minute stuff until then. And then I'm going to Nashville for 5 days the same week I get back from here. I'm crazy excited to hang with all those friends again.

And I guess after that I will find a place to live and sort through all the shit. Should be a great time. :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Toast

So, I think it's safe to say that my life is a little bit messy right now. I know that in my little blurb up top about this blog I've got jokes about my life being a mess. But for real. Legit. Hot disaster at the moment. I spend a lot of time philosophizing these days. There's not much else to do when you're standing on a street corner with a smile plastered on your face, or when you're listening to mopey music packing box after box of linens and random knickknacks. And it's funny how things happen. In the midst of my horrific packing efforts (I SUPER suck at packing) I came across a magnet that my best friend gave me a hundred years ago that fell behind my shelf. As cheesy as it sounds (try not to throw up and bear with me. I'm feeling introspective these days ;), it was Rilke's quote, "...love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue." ...yadda yadda yadda. It seems that guy really knows what he's talking about. So I've decided to listen to him. "Live the questions now," he says. I'm trying, buddy.

It is irritating, though. My brain and my body seem to be on completely separate pages, and neither are consulting me about anything. They are both off on tangents all their own. Or maybe it's just that I don't like what each one is trying to tell me...

Anyway, It really is incredible how quickly all your plans can go to shit. I mean, I thought I knew at least the general direction I was headed in, and now the only knowledge I can count on in a day is knowing that the neighborhood crack dealer will call me "mommy," give me a fist pound, and ask me to program his "new" ipod for him. (seriously it happens every day. And I have to say, I don't love this question. I'm running out of excuses and, let's be honest, no one wants to upset a drug dealer).

But, I guess I do want to remember everything about this completely messy time. I want to remember so that when my kids come to me in their 20's and ask, "what is my life right now?" I can say, with the complete knowledge of experience, "To be honest, right now your life is totally f*cked.... But you gotta have faith. Both in the world and in yourself because things will work out."

And so, I've decided to go home for most of the next month. I have three weddings to go to, one of them being my brother's. I'll see old friends, get some fresh air, drive with the windows down (if I can remember how to operate a car), and help my mom and future sister-in-law with loose wedding ends.

Here's to deep breathing and figuring out my life :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Whole New Meaning to "Tasti-D"

I think I slept two hours Thursday night. I woke up in a panic in the morning on the verge of hyperventilation to a clock that said that I was already 9 minutes late to work. Shit. After a few choice cuss words to myself, I managed to get dressed, throw on a headband and run to work by 9 am. No biggie, turns out I'm not essential to the office at 8:30am. Shock, I know.

Friday went by soo...ooo slowly. There were not enough songs on my ipod and, I have to say, that one day to be left alone with my thoughts in a filing room was enough. Two was a bit excessive. I started going over all the shit I need to pack (ugh), all the wedding presents I still need to buy (what to get?), all the messy relationships (???), all the things I should have done while filming various scenes (why didn't I just speed that line up, why didn't I take a moment here or there). Infuriating. You get the picture. And it isn't pretty.

Anyway, come 4:30 I had filed everything in sight, my fingers were bleeding (no, seriously. Bleeding.) and they had nothing else for me to do. I had resolved some sort of confidence in my brain by that time that I could do everything I need to do and deal with everything I need to deal with.

On the way home I stopped at Tasti-D. Had a very nice conversation with Singh as he got me my small chocolate in a cup. Was feeling good. I gave a little sass to the guy heckling the poor girl handing out subway coupons on my corner. (Like she's never heard, "do YOU come with the $5 footlong?" before. Idiot. Really, it's not bad enough she's wearing a sandwich board? I mean, clever - Subway promo girl in a sandwich board, real funny folks. No one should ever have to wear one of those things) Anyway, the guy had it coming and the girl and I shared a smile of commiseration. I was on my way, again.

So to break it down: I helped out a stranger, I was feeling confident, I wanted to start packing, I was in a good place. I got to my door and started fumbling for my keys and wouldn't you know it...right in front of my face, missed my nose by a hair....a giant dollop of city juice from the air conditioner above plopped right on top of my Tasti-D. I had that moment of silence where you're not really sure how your body will react. Where you just stare at the scene before you. But then.... I couldn't do anything but crack up. The kind of laughing where your chest hurts and nostrils flare, I may have even snorted (a trait I think I get from my Dad. Thanks for that one.) People were staring. I was making a scene.

But, Holy Hell. Does it get funnier? Just when you get the momentum, New York City takes a giant dump right on your ice cream.

Life, you're killing me right now.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Welcome Distractions and Welcome Weather

I woke up this morning to a message from the temp agency that they want me back in HR at the usual discount retailer's corporate offices. She said casually, "Can you work today?" and I almost screamed "Yes!" very happy to have a welcome distraction from the mess that is my life right now. But I kept it cool. And so, I marched my happy ass back to the filing room with a pep in my step that probably seemed a bit unnatural.

It's been about three months, maybe, since my last stint there, so upon walking into the office I was greeted with half familiar smiles that seemed truly excited to see me. It was wonderful! I got hugs from everyone. And it's weird how sometimes a hug from an almost-stranger can make you feel better than one from someone you know. Maybe it's because it's so unexpected. Anyhow...I was so appreciative of the office small talk ("Jersey Shore," anyone?) and, though I was holed up in a filing room with mid-year reviews whittling away at my cuticles, I had a fairly nice day. Ipod and alphabetizing....who knew? They asked me back tomorrow, so let's see if I can keep up that enthusiasm after a full 9 hour day.

I ran home in the POURING rain (apparently a tornado in Brooklyn, Wha?!) and arrived at my door absolutely sopping wet. Just soaked, and I kind of loved it. Sometimes it just feels like rain.

I've figured out that this weekend is my only time to move all my shit...by myself. So that should be something. I'm going to try to recruit some friends with the lure of wine and pizza. We'll see what happens....

I seem to be saying those four words a lot these days.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Wasted Space, Complications, and a Robbery

Starting to freak out. The end-of-a-project depression has set in and I am officially in a mood. Aside from some other personal business I'm dealing with, I have no idea what my next job will be. I need to find some auditions ASAP so I can feel a little less like a waste of space.

My moving situation has gotten nothing but increasingly complicated. I seem to be staying in my apartment for another month...then who knows what. She wants me to move all my shit to the room next door. Ugh. I keep meaning to respond to THAT email...But nothing's wrong with just a little procrastination. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Oh, and p.s. apparently our building was broken into on Saturday night from a window on a lower floor. So that's swell. A little terrifying, but I've located my mace and you better believe I check those locks like I have a debilitating case of OCD.

Maybe I'll take a dance class tomorrow. Hope it lifts my crabby state of mind. Maybe rent some space and do a little moving on my own. I can't afford it, really, but I did buy a spinach quesadilla tonight for dinner that will last me at least 3 days....maybe it evens out in the end?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Nice Reminder

So much happens in a day these days. Maybe it's because they are 15 hours long. But trust me I am not complaining. I'm actually having the most fun I've had in quite some time. If only I could find a way to get paid for doing this crazy fun job....

Let's see, shooting began for the web series "Big Country Blues" last Saturday. I got a call early AM from one of the two directors. I could tell by his sing song voice that he was about to break some news/ask me to do something nuts. He explained that the pool that I had to swim in has been neglected a bit in the past few weeks...and asked if would I mind too terribly diving into an algae ridden slime? I let him know that if he would pay for any of the subsequent medical bills, I'd be happy to.

And so I arrived on set, met the cast and crew ....and put on my bathing suit. Gross. I almost had a break down. There really is nothing like wearing a bathing suit in front of a crowd of clothed people to bring you right back down to earth.

Wardrobe aside, I immediately knew that this was going to be a fun experience, as the cast and crew are probably the funniest group of people that have ever been put in a room together.

I jumped into the lagoon about 10 times total. It was, hands down, the worst tasting water I've ever experienced. After that I scaled a balcony, smoked some cigarettes, shot a love scene and called it a day at 4am....And I loved every minute of it.

The next few days were long and tiring, but filled with good work and lots of laughing. I've found a friendship I didn't see coming in the guy playing the country singer. Surprisingly, we have a lot in common. It's been fun experiencing acting from his point of view. He thinks I'm doing him a favor by helping him with scenes, but really I'm being selfish. It's just such a nice reminder of why I love it so much. Creating relationships and all the emotions that come with them from words on a page. The first time you let yourself get lost in a scene is something you don't forget.

It's an awesome thing when you can sit back and look around and know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. Recently I've been disheartened from shitty NY theater and people with little talent and a lot of self-importance. I feel very lucky to have been cast in something that I already feel richer for being a part of. It's nice for a change. I have crazy respect for everyone working on this project. I only hope that the job I'm doing is as good as I want it to be. It's hard to tell when you're not in front of an audience, getting your energy from their reactions.

All right. Enough with the actor-y talk. All I can do is focus, try, and cross my fingers I'm not f*cking it up.

*On Set with Director Brian Ross and The star of the production singer Jeremy McComb

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Lord, Keep Me Sane...Or Screw the Sanity and Just Keep me Functioning

Prepare for an actinglikesarah overload...

I suck at life so badly and have not blogged in so long that I find the need to make this a post of bullet points. I apologize ahead of time for the crappy format, but trust me it will limit the time you spend scrolling down (hopefully)...

  • Shopping tours
Going well. I think I have finally found a great job that fits my talents and my patience level. Three or four hours, in and out! Some tours are more fun than others, and one thing I am learning - people don't actually want the truth. They think they do. But they really just want you to lie and say "No, no! That fringey, pink and purple leopard print lycra top is the perfect addition to your 50-something year old wardrobe!" Unfortunate, but true. The walking tours are getting to me a bit. I had two back to back on one of the hottest days since creation. In the middle of my first tour, my phone was one text away from dying and I was trying to meet up with my boss. Thank God it lasted just long enough. I ran to the apple store in the half hour between tours but in the process got so sweaty that I looked as though I had taken a shower in my clothing. My gray tshirt was literally five shades darker than when I got dressed. People were staring. I had to run to Forever21 to grab a shirt in between, then the bitches in the dressing room were weird about my changing into the shirt I just bought. I said loudly (didn't yell), "Seriously?!" and pointed to my growing pit stains (if you can still call them that when they're taking over your abdomen). Needless to say, I was late to my second tour....

  • Promo
Flyering is particularly nice in the summer. A few days I've been a little schvitzy, but other than that... I'm out and about, getting a little sun, upping my vitamin D intake. Not bad. I did have a flashback to the winter months the other day when a cold burst of AC escaped the office building I was standing in front of. I almost cried, right there on 42nd street.

The company I work for is expanding and taking on new markets, so I was called on a "Go-See" for a new client. I arrived and walked into model-mania with very tall and hungry girls sitting on the couch. Um, I was out of place. They took my picture in front of a white wall and had me hold up a t-shirt. I left with lower self esteem and had a jamba juice for lunch. All fruit with a fat burner blast boost. Because that's how models eat....? Anyway, a couple days later I get a call and... I booked the job! Real girls rejoice! Turns out you have a much more appealing personality if you eat! That job is Tuesday. I'll let you know how it goes.

  • Date to Mate
Filmed another episode of Date to Mate. It went fast. I got the script and shot in a matter of a couple days. The day after my boyfriend told me how much his family likes the show and how they all watch it I received the new script - in which I talk about my pubes. That was great. We all have them....but does his grandmother really need to watch me talking about mine? The first day went well, the second day I felt kinda crappy about my performance. I wish I could have had a few more takes. I'm pretty sure I sucked. But I just remind myself, Sandra Bullock won the Razzie and the Academy award in the same year....:)

  • Moving
So I'm moving. Looking for an apartment in this city is hell on earth. Brokers are the devil, himself. We haven't found anything yet, but I'm trying to have faith. It's hard when people are such ass holes. I spoke to this one woman on the phone who laughed (literally cracked up) when I told her my about my jobs and my income. "How much can you possibly make as a tour guide?" and she said tour guide like she was choking back vomit. So, that was really fun! I've never had a complete stranger make me feel so inadequate before. I should have told her she was a bitch and hung up, but I was too busy trying not to cry. I've had a few similar experiences, and have yet to sign a new lease...so we'll see. I may be sleeping on a bench in Central Park in a month.

  • Upcoming Web Series
Coming up in September is the filming of Big Country Blues, a country music web series. Ryan and I read the script, and the part where I'm in a bathing suit jumped out at me. The part where I have sex with some guy stood out to him. So, I've been working out a bit more. Jackie Warner's PowerBurn Circuit on Exercise OnDemand has been kicking my ass. And I'm trying to explain to my bf that making out with dudes on camera is way more awkward than anything else. It's something that I haven't had to deal with yet (and neither has he, for that matter) so we're sort of trying to figure this one out. I keep saying that if you read the script of a sex scene in any movie it would sound graphic. The words are much worse than what you see. And in case you're wondering: I AM NOT GETTING NAKED. Sorry. But tune in anyway, It should be good...If I can lay off the Mexican food and run off these last 7 or so lbs.

So that wraps up my life for the time being. I feel like my head may explode from apartments, and web series, and tours, and promos, and traveling (did I mention I have 4 weddings coming up, 4 weekends in a row, in 4 different states?) and moving somewhere in the middle of it all...

Help.

Friday, July 23, 2010

A Boat Load of Crazy

Ok. You know it's bad when I think that only a week has gone by and, in fact, it has been 20 days! Where is my life going? I schedule, I work, I worry, I work, I hang out, I work, I worry... you get the picture. What the f?? This is a problem.

My show ended. Thank the lord. I enjoyed playing my character, but I have to tell you that I had to put up with some kind of shit to get to the end. Wish I could tell you the details, but I don't think that putting certain things out into the internet world for all to read is a great idea. I'm in no mood to start a tweet war a la Rosie and Donald Trump. I'm incredibly too unimportant for the saying "any press is good press" to apply. It would just be distasteful. ;)

I spent the last two weeks working my face off. I'll be filming/out of town for all of September into October so getting involved in any new projects is a little out of the question. And so, I make some monies.

Thursday was an interesting day. I was pushing eco friendly products at a certain drug store. If you stand for long enough in one place in this city, you WILL meet a boat load of weirdos. Thursday was no exception. It started with the introduction of Lee. A 6 foot 4 (probably) body builder that just walked into the store and stopped abruptly with his hand up like he was asking for silence from an audience. He proceeded to walk in a circle around me and my table of products without blinking. His face contorted as if he were constipated. Turns out this parade meant he found me attractive. Who knew?

He asked me my name, my sign, how tall I am, if I work out... I'm always torn between the fact that I'm working for a company that pays me to be pleasant and the fact that all I want to do sometimes is tell someone to fuck off. It's a tug of war, really. I answered some of his questions while handing out samples to other customers, showing that I was uninterested in his advances. I picked my words carefully...then he asked me WHERE my gym is. Oh hell no! I said that, too. I laughed and said, "oh Hell no!" (at this point we had a friendly rapport going where he made advances and I said something just sassy enough with a hint of humor. It worked for us.) He assured me he wasn't a stalker. But, I feel like if you have to tell someone you aren't a stalker, there's probably a problem there. So, I started laughing and told him he should continue on with his day. If it was meant to be, the powers of the universe would bring us together again. Somehow that crap worked, and he gathered his friend and was on his way. I'll always hold a special place in my heart for Lee, the non-stalker.

About 15 min later a woman came hobbling in on crutches with her 7-ish year old son. She waited by my table while he got some doritos and a drink, or something. She proceeded to tell me about her menstrual cycle. That's right.... You read correctly. I found out all about how her monthly cycle had stopped the day she turned 50 (which was 6 months ago). She always said she would embrace menopause, but now she just doesn't know how to do that. The hot flashes really get to her. WHY DO I KNOW THIS? She sits by a fan and an air conditioner all day moaning about the difficulties of being an older woman. Her fertile years are over (her words not mine, people).

Crazy. This world is crazy.

That night, while on the treadmill, I received a call from a woman that works for a marketing company. I must have signed up to do focus groups a long time ago. But anyway they had an opening in the Friday group about alcoholic beverages...Sign me up! She began asking me a long string of ridiculous questions. I asked, "why all the weird questions?" and she said, "They want to make sure that you are articulate." Literally, the next question she asks is this: "If you were to be re-incarcerated as any animal, what would it be?" I almost fell off my treadmill. She's making sure I'm articulate and she's asking me if I were to go to jail again, what animal would I want to be locked up as? Hahaha. I'm giggling just thinking about it. It's moments like these that I really love my mess of a life. I laughed to myself and then said, "a puppy. They get away with anything because no one can stay mad at a puppy." She liked my answer. I'm in for the Friday group.

More to come in the next few days. I don't want to give you too much ridiculous in one fell swoop. Talk soon!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Getting Back to the Little Bits

Too long. Too long. Does anyone even read this anymore, it's been too long. The good news is I've been busy. The bad news is when I'm busy, I neglect certain things.

My show is finishing up its run. It has been a learning experience. Once everyone figured out their lines, the show runs fairly smoothly and we had our best audience Wednesday night. They even gasped at the climax of the story, which is always fun.

I've been doing lots of shopping tours. I started with another company and after the disastrous first tour, my experiences had nowhere to go but up. I was stuck with 12 people standing outside a sample sale with a line two hours long with nowhere else to go (our other stops were appointments and they get very unhappy if you just barge in). Needless to say, I had to bullshit for a bit. Took the group downstairs. Walked around the block (out of towners wouldn't notice). Talked about NY. Added a little history (I think it was all true). And finally got in touch with one of the appointments to ask to get in a little early. In the end it worked out, but I was sweating for a hot half hour there.

I've done some promo-ing, as well. Big shock, I know. I stood outside in Union Square for 10 hours in 90+ degree weather. That was fun. I actually went into Starbucks and held my shorts under the hand dryer on my break. It was disgusting. I was disgusting. I'm grossing myself out just thinking about it. But...best shower of my life that night. Look on the bright side.

It's funny. A month goes by and so much has happened. But it's really the little bits of my life that make for an interesting story. The crazy people, the shitty people, the lovely people, the bizarre experiences. I'll get back into the swing of this writing thing. Somehow at the end of the day, it really does make all the shit worth it. Somehow.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Lines, Lines, Lines. And Not the Kind Lindsay Lohan Does at the Club

Today was an interesting day...I'll come back to this.

The weekend was a lot of line learning and working. Saturday I spent the vast majority of the day writing and re-writing my lines for the upcoming play. I've found it's the only way, other than pure run throughs of the scenes, that I can memorize. Our first day off-book (without the script-if you normal people couldn't remember) was to be Sunday. There were some scenes I knew better than others. There were some scenes I didn't know for shit. Those were fun. By the end of the day Saturday my hand was throbbing. Sunday morning I went in for rehearsal with fear in my eyes. It's the weirdest feeling being off book for the first time. Like you're missing something. Like you forgot your wallet. But it's so amazing when you can free up your hands and your eyes and really look at the people on stage and connect with them. It's a totally different experience. It also makes you want to pee yourself; it's nerve-wracking. You just don't want to be the one who sucks the most. You don't want to be the one actor that calls "Line!" every three words. That is the worst. Luckily we were all pretty much on the same page as far as line memorization. No one was perfect, and no one was horrendous.

After rehearsal I had to run to give a shopping tour. It ended up being a fairly long four hours of serious bargain shopping. I love bargain shopping as much as the next girl, but $.99 for jewelry? Ugh. But I gave 'em what they asked for.

From there I ran uptown to a turtles meeting. No real news to report there.

And from there...whew!...I ran even more uptown to Lincoln Center to see my good friend perform in a dance show. It was a full day!

I came home and passed the hell out.

Also this weekend...wait for it...I got the part in the web series! You know the one where I sucked balls at the first call-back! I'm very excited to begin work on that project. Everyone seems to have their stuff together and I'm hoping that this will be very good experience and footage for a reel. That would be swell!

Monday was filled with promos and going over lines with the stage manager of the show. During the morning shift an old woman busted ass right on the sidewalk. Just face planted on the cement. I was sure that she was going to be all bloody, but we ran over to her and she just seemed a little dazed. But, people never stop amazing me. There was a man standing right next to her who did nothing. Just watched with his phone in his hand. Stood there. Unbelievable. It was actually probably a very funny scene watching three girls in red get ups and a man in a red pimp suit running to help this woman up. But still.

And now for my interesting day: I was to give a tour at 11 am. Got a call the girl wasn't feeling well so it was postponed until 1. An inconvenience, but what can you do? I met up with them and the girl was fairly quiet. Seemed a bit uninterested. At our first stop she came right in and sat on the couch in the store until..... she ran outside and got sick on the sidewalk. Poor thing! I felt so badly for her. Here she was on a trip to NYC and she's sick. We finally decided to reschedule. It was kind of a crazy day! ...But the mom did buy a dress :)

More tours, more rehearsals and some training tours coming up this week. It's a long one!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Movie, A Play, A line in a Cafe.

Ok. So I'm a terrible person. I couldn't even remember the last time I blogged, which means so much has happened that I don't even know what to tell you. Every day my to-do list has said BLOG in giant letters, and yet somehow I still sucked enough to not do it for a couple weeks. Well done, Sarah. Well done.

So to get you updated...I'll make this as to the point as possible:
I had my second call back for that web-series I was kicking myself about. It went very well, but I haven't heard from them and that was two-ish weeks ago. They kept me after the audition to "chat" and I have to say it was unbelievably nice to get some feedback. They were very complimentary and it felt great to hear from an auditionee. They also asked me about the two males that I auditioned with. They asked my opinion on their performance. Ugh! I hate that. But I gave my most diplomatic, but honest opinion and then quickly tried to change the subject. Anyway, that audition restored my confidence in what I'm doing, which is great because I was very discouraged.

I also went to a few other auditions that week. One for a movie, one for a play. I received two calls in one night with the news that I was wanted for both roles! When it rains, it pours. I turned down the movie (after some google-ing I realized it was probably not going to do a whole lot for my career in the long run). They wanted me to play the dean of a school that has an affair with a student. That was my first time getting considered/cast as the older role, and not the student. It was weird.

The play is a 30's farce and I was cast as the ingenue. I accepted the role (details/advertising to follow) and have started rehearsals. Our director (the one who cast me) had to drop out due to a family emergency, and another one stepped in. The day of our first read-through with him I was feeling particularly punchy, I guess, and read the role with a bit too much oomph. I was given notes to watch 30's movies and take all sarcasm out of my voice. The director very quickly seemed to decide that I was unfit for the role. I went home and YouTubed some 30's actresses, practiced my sweet, naive voice and came to the next rehearsal ready to act like a damsel in distress. After the first scene, the director (and I quote) was "blown away." He said things like, "I don't know what happened," and "Somehow you figured out the Ingenue." I've actually never seen someone have so little faith in me. It was an interesting feeling. I said, "Wow, You really had no faith." He even TOLD me that he didn't. That I seemed too contemporary. "What did you do?" he asked. My response came out a bit more sarcastic and sassy than I would have liked, but I replied "Um...I took direction." More on this project later, I'm sure. We open June 19.

In money making news: I've started doing shopping tours and, I have to say, I think this may be the best job for me! I have trained and done three tours of my own with one company, and I train next week for a second. It is a lot of fun and I really am enjoying it. Tips don't hurt either :)

I'm trying to figure out my living situation for next year. So that blows. It turns out that my lease is up right in the middle of my Four-Weddings-In-a-Row extravaganza. Needless to say I need to breathe into a paper bag and put my head between my legs just thinking about it. Not to mention the money.

I've done lots of promotions recently, including running around the city like a crazed explorer, passing out flyers for free make-overs, and sampling fresh new summer salads. :) Today I explained the new system for waiting in line at a cafe. Ask me how many times I said, "The line for the salads starts right over here..." I would guess it was a few hundred. It's amazing how dumb people are. I don't really think you realize it until you have a job like this where you see that following a simple sign is very difficult for some people. Literally a few people looked like their heads may explode.

I really will try to pull it together, one of these days, and write regularly. Maybe this week is my week...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Stick a Fork in Me, I'm Done.

So, you know how in my last post I wasn't feeling quite motivated/successful/generally happy with life. Well, to give a little insight, I had just looked at my financial situation...and had a melt down. I've been working my ass off and, to put it bluntly, it's not enough. On top of it I felt like I blew an audition, and I've been sassed by too many strangers on the street. Then, (hilarious cherry plunked right on top) I went to a playwright's platform (a sort of meeting where new playwrights can have actors read their plays in progress) and my part was...get this...stage directions! Hahaha. It really doesn't get any funnier. I was hating myself and my life and the guy says, "and Sarah, You'll be reading the stage directions, if you don't mind." I almost dissolved into laughter right there. I was done. It was, simply put, perfect timing.

Anyway, I went to another playwright's platform for a different theater company last week, too. I decided when I start feeling like shit, I should just get out there and do more...even though I really want to lay in bed watching the food network while I stuff my face with Tasti D. That never got anyone anywhere except fat. So I pulled myself together and I actually had a great time at the readings. At the second, I read many parts in different plays and thoroughly enjoyed myself. In addition, I met three new playwrights and got to mingle with some other actors (some I enjoyed more than others, but big surprise there). Anyway, lesson learned. I feel like poop, I get off my ass. It helps, even if it's just a little bit.

I've been flyering quite a bit. Nothing new to report there. I've also been hocking new salad dressings. Just an FYI, they are all fat free. Someone shoot me. Moving on...

I was also booked on another promo with a different company. I've been wandering the streets informing people that you can get a free makeover at a certain cosmetics company. Other than the fact that five hours can seem like an eternity, the first few days went well. Then came today. Freezing, rainy, windy. F my life. Toes numb, fingers so stiff they may as well have rigor mortis, body convulsing freezing. Ugh. But the people of midtown New York know that they can get a free makeover and a gift with a $75 purchase. And, really, that's what's important here.

I also worked as a beer girl this week (See what I mean? I've been working!). That was interesting. You should have seen my face when they slapped the paper thin, mini dress in my hands. Unfortunately for me, Spanx doesn't make shapers short enough to tuck under that thing. So I sucked it up and sucked it in, slapped a smile on my face and asked people if they wanted some beer. Keep my eye on the paycheck...

In happier, more promising news: Remember the audition I blew? They want me back for a final Callback! Don't get me wrong, I really sucked during part of that audition. But I think they see that I could really kick ass in this role. We're working out scheduling, but let's hope I can pull it together this time. It's imperative, and not just for me get the role, but for the future of my confidence. I need to suck WAY less this time. Pull it together. Focus. Fingers crossed! ...toes too, but that's only because I have weird monkey feet. ;)

Date to Mate is airing again, too! New episode this sunday on ShalomTV OnDemand. Watch it!!
Don't worry, you'll get lots more updates about this bit.

That's enough for now. I'm winded just recounting my ridiculous life. Stay tuned for hopefully more upbeat posts. I still have some faith.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Wish I Could be More of a Delight, But....

Feeling like a hamster. A stupid hamster.

I'm ready for something great to come my way.

I need it.



This may be a haiku. :)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Off When I Should be On

Sleep has not been easy for me recently. And it's starting to catch up to me. Today I felt like crap. Complete crap. And that's just great because I worked all morning/afternoon and then had a callback. Swell.

I worked some baby expo that was WEIRD. So many new babies and preggo ladies. I hope it's not catching. The things that new moms are interested in is beyond me. Social networking sites for moms, A book called, "Eat, Sleep, Poop. A Diary for your Baby." Too weird. Mommy and me classes. Those look riveting. Is there some boring hormone that comes over your body once you have a baby? Did these women start out this way? I hope so. Otherwise, count me out for children.

Then I had my callback. They were running 30 minutes behind, which figures because I ran to get there. I had a splitting headache that never went away. I wish that I could have walked in there and explained that I felt like shit, so I apologize if I suck. Unfortunately that's never appropriate. So I put on a happy face and went in to do my thing. I was reading with another guy who seems to be already cast. We had three sides. I wasn't nearly as prepared as I wish I could have been. But I only got the sides day before yesterday and time wasn't on my side these past few days. The first scene went badly. I sucked. I know it. I forgot some lines and took too long. Wasn't connecting at all. Balls. My second scene went much better. I felt good and the panel seemed to really enjoy that one. Maybe I redeemed myself? The third went ok. Nothing ground breaking. I only got to read each once because they were behind, which sucks. I know I didn't do my best, which is hard to handle.

I left feeling badly, to be honest. I wanted to crawl into bed. I had a very off day when I really needed to be on. Damn it.

Feeling discouraged today. Maybe a drink with some friends will help. Maybe....after a nap.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Wipe that Look Off Your Face, Or I'll Do It For You . xoxo :)

Ok. So last week kicked my ass. I have a blister the size of a silver dollar on the ball of my foot, which is causing me to walk with a pimp limp and grunt every so often. It's really adorable. Not.

I worked triples every day last week, except for the day that I rode the 6 train for an hour and twenty to the ghetto - that day I only worked a double. I have to say that while I am SO excited to have the work, it wears on me!

I love (and by love I mean hate) the look that I get from people that have the regular 8-5's when I say that I'm working triples all week. One friend even had the nerve to say, "now you know what it's like" with a self righteous, smug, assy face on. I almost punched the person. I wanted to get all fingers snapping, head bobbing sassy up in this person's face and explain, "Sitting at a desk in front of an excel spreadsheet is NOT the same as running around the city like a headless chicken with a never-ending smile on your face because you have to sell a product and be pleasant to all of the crazy ass New Yorkers that approach you on a daily basis. Guess What You Ass??? My life ACTUALLY WAS harder than yours this week!"

I'm really not one to compare situations. But I absolutely hate it when people have this attitude that somehow my life is so easy because I don't work in corporate-town. And they have this competition with each other to see who's life sucks worse. We are all busy, doing different things. Get over yourself! I would love for that one friend to try going to one audition, to try flyering for one shift, to do promos for one day! See if that assy look would ever cross that face again!

Wow. I'm angry today. I apologize for the crazy vent, but clearly it needed to happen. I've been dealing with nuts all week. I've been pushed, shoved, yelled at, cursed at, told that I should "be ashamed of myself." And...get this...all when I was trying to give away free stuff! People are ass holes. Just mean. Don't get me wrong, there are the people that accept my free sample and information with gratitude. There are people that listen and care about what I'm saying. And they are the reason that I don't end up chucking samples at the backs of people's heads. They are the reason that the insults that I come up with in my head that consist of curse words never before been put in juxtaposition stay, just that, inside my head and never come out of my mouth. They are the ones that make my day, really.

News in other parts of my random life...remember that audition I went to where I thought I did well, but never heard back? The one where I ran into the director on the train platform later? Well.....I got a callback! I got a super nice email from the producer saying that they were held up in the casting process and that they have finally scheduled call backs for this weekend. So I have my second audition on Saturday! I'm very excited. Mostly because I wasn't sure what I did wrong and I was starting to freak out that maybe I have a very warped sense of how I perform. Anyhoo, that's some great news!

I have some other auditions being scheduled, some more jobs coming up. I train for the shopping tours tomorrow! I'm looking forward to that. And the boss lady has already booked me on 4 tours of my own! More work! I have another promo coming up in the next two weeks for a cosmetic company, too. Money, money.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with my scheduling right now. My brain is constantly worried that I'm supposed to be somewhere. I even jolted awake at 3 am last night with a border line anxiety attack. I never know if I've emailed all the people I'm supposed to or if I've returned all the phone calls. What if I forget to write something in my little agenda book? I'd be screwed.

Oh, the anxiety. I guess that's what sunday afternoon bloody marys are for. You can bet I will be having mine this week. ;)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

One Show Ends, One Episode Wraps, One Woman Pees

So, I may go crazy. Life has been nuts. Which is good, because busy is always better than sitting on the couch stuffing my face with reduced fat wheat thins, crying because I have nothing to do. But, still. I may pass out.

8 Minute Madness closed this past weekend. I'll miss the cast (most of them) and my lovely scene partner, but I am also a little glad to see it go. The random schedule was starting to get to me. I got pretty good feedback, although my best role it probably wasn't. You win some, you lose some. I got a video of it, which I have mixed feelings about. Stage isn't meant to be filmed and watching it may be a huge mistake. As soon as I have time I'll make that decision. I've yet to hear about anyone influential that saw the show, except that I was called in to read in a playwright's series for another theater company. So that's something.


I've been flyering my face off for the past week, too. It's been testing my life choices, I have to say. At least the weather has been nice. The past few shifts have been brutal, though. Time stands still. I swear. This week I work triple shifts every day because we're also doing promos for a certain eco-friendly company. It's a shit load of work, which is great because it's money.... but it also makes you so tired you could snuggle up next to that homeless lady on 33rd and 7th because you don't think you can make it home. This morning that homeless lady popped a squat right in front of me and started peeing over the subway grate. Just to give you an idea of how desperate one might be when considering snuggling up for a nap. (p.s. this story is true. She really peed right in front of me. On a scale of one to gross, it was pretty f*ing gross.)

I finished off my temp job. Thank you, Jesus. I do not miss fluorescent lighting or bone deep paper cuts. Not even a little. Not even when I'm standing on a street corner next to a woman relieving herself.

Last weekend I filmed episode 4 of From Date to Mate for ShalomTV. I had a great time, once again. The crew is great and it's like hanging out with friends putting the show together. They asked if they could use my apartment for filming, and of course I agreed. That meant that I spent a day cleaning the crap out of my apartment. I'm sure it would be better if it looks "lived-in" but lets be honest. My room was a wreck. No way in hell that was going on TV.

We only did two-ish takes of most of my scenes, which is nerve wracking. I guess if we didn't get it the director would ask to do it again, but having most of my experience come from stage work getting another take is, to put it plainly, the BEST THING EVER. I want more. I may become a diva and start asking for more I love it so much. Just kidding. But seriously.

I'll let you know when it airs!

The broadway workshop presentation for friends and invited guests went on as well. (See what I mean? Busy.) It kinda sucked for me, because my partner wasn't able to make it so I spent most of the time walking around with a sassy Latina attitude watching everyone else dance. Oh well. It was great seeing all those people again and I had a good time. So there.

In other news, I think I'm about to add another odd job to my resume. I had an interview today to be a shopping tour guide! It went well and I will train next weekend! I think it's a good fit since I studied fashion and all. More work and more money can only help. I'll let you know how that goes.

So just to give you an idea....today went like this: 7:30-9:30 flyering, 10:45-11:30 audition, 12-2 sandwich of the month sampling, 2:45-3:30 Interview for shopping tours, 4-7 eco-friendly promotion, 7:30 sit down...finally. And the activities were at various locations between 29th street and 45th street. It was a day.

I'll try to keep you updated more so that I don't end up with these ridiculously long posts. If you made it to this part, I appreciate your attention. It means a lot.

Until next time...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Performing with Paper-Cuts

So what's the news?.... because I have been running around like a mouse in a maze for the past week and have neglected my poor, lonely blog. I lay awake at night feeling guilty about it (you think I'm joking...) Here's the news:

The auditioners from last week did not listen to the hints of the universe and I did not get a call-back. Balls. It sucks because I know that I would have killed that part. I guess I just didn't kill the audition. It's an unfortunate feeling, wanting a do-over. I don't think I took enough risks at the audition. Looking back I think I actually read pretty blah. Oh well. Nothing I can do now except try not to suck at the next one.

My show opened and it's going well. We remembered all of our lines and I felt decent about my performance. It's an interesting part for me because I can't really get a read on the performance. I know that the audience seems to respond with laughter. And our play is a comedy of sorts, so that's a good thing.

I've had a few performances since opening night and they all seem to go fine. Ryan (the BF) saw it and said we were very good and had a great chemistry together, which is great news. On Monday after our show I was walking out and ran into our director. I asked if he had any notes and he said, "Yes! For you. I don't know what is wrong with you." Now how the hell am I supposed to respond to that? I immediately felt horrible and decided that I sucked at life. Then he said, "Don't get me wrong, you're VERY good." Stress on the very. Now what the hell is going on?! Something is wrong with me, but I'm still VERY good. I was so confused, and slightly pissed. Could he get to the constructive part, please? "You have a very intimate performance. You're connected to him and very 'in it' but you need to share it more with the audience. Let your voice go. You need to hit the back row. Be louder, I think." Finally! The constructive part. I listened intently and took it in. Interesting. I'm not a very over the top performer, and I know that. I like to keep my performances very truthful. (I hate watching over-performers.) I said that I think I was trying to control my rage because I play a sort of dim girl and I'm in a restaurant, and that maybe that was contributing to the lack of projection. He said to control it, then let it go- all out. I asked if we could run the show before our next performance and if he could help me point out the parts that I need to make louder. He agreed. So I'm looking forward to that tonight. I love rehearsal! (that looks like I could be being sarcastic, but I'm not. I really am looking forward to it, and I really do love rehearsal :)

I've worked a few odd jobs in the past week. Flyering here and there, Beer girl one night, temping some more. Now you see why I've had a hard time blogging? I get home at night and my brain is done. Between rando jobs, performances, remembering lines, auditions, and even just keeping my schedule straight, I get home and I just want to eat and sleep. I could have written but it would have been shit, I'm sure. I didn't want to subject you to that!

The weather is getting nice, which makes flyering SO much more enjoyable. I spent the last few days working the morning shift flyering, then temping all day. I'm at the same office I was in a few months ago, filing away the next set of reviews. It seems all this company does is review their employees. When do they get anything done? My hands are sufficiently paper-cut. Enough that putting my nightly alpha hydroxy-laced lotion on my face was a disaster that ended in my screaming and running for the faucet to rinse my haggard hands.

Working the two jobs back to back really did shine some insight into people. In the morning I spent two hours watching people look at me like they were better than me because I was handing out flyers on a street corner. In the afternoon I spent the day in an office, probably much like the ones those judgmental people work in, wishing I was outside in the beautiful weather. I even missed flyering. There are no windows, just yellow fluorescent lighting. The biggest news was that American Idol was on that night. I just want to scream at those people that look down their noses at me, "I happen to think that YOUR life sucks!" and maybe add a "Bitch!" in there. Although that may be harsh. On the other hand, maybe they sit at a computer all day and think, "at least I'm not handing out flyers on the street." Haha. We all tell ourselves what we have to, I guess. Maybe it's all they have to think that they're better than I am. Maybe that's how they get through their day.

I just wish people were nicer, really. Don't run into me like I'm not there, don't wave your hand in my face because you don't want a flyer, don't grunt like I'm the worst thing that happened to you all day. Have a heart, people.

This weekend is going to be insane! I'll lay it out for you (get excited):
Friday night: Show
Saturday day: Show
Saturday night: Filming episode 4 of Date to Mate!
Sunday day: Filming
Sunday night: Show
Monday day: Temping
Monday night: Filming
Tuesday: SLEEP

Whew. I'll need a few red bulls to get through this one. Thanks for reading and I'm sorry to neglect you. You are all very important to me... whoever you are.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Excuse Me, Sir? I Think God is Trying to Tell You Something.

I had an audition Saturday for a web series in which I would play a southern girl with a country singin' boyfriend. I went to the audition and met with the producers who were all very nice. I debated whether or not to read the sides with a true southern accent, but I decided against it. Everyone always says no need to bust out the accent until the call backs. I did, however, manage to slip in that I'm from Georgia. I might have made my hometown sound a little more small-town than it really is...but it's all in the name of getting a job. I added a few more "ya'll"s to the conversation and called it a day. I feel like I read well. I don't know. I always leave going "that was fine." Never great or fantastic, just fine. They did ask if I was available next weekend for callbacks, so that's a good sign. And now for the weird part:

The audition was on 8th avenue in the 30's. About 5 hours later I was on a train platform on the east side waiting with my BF and his family to head out to Astoria. I turn around and who do I see? The writer/director and the producer from earlier that day! Now, I took this as a sign and I can only hope that they, too, will pick up on what God is so clearly trying to tell them, "Pick her! Pick her!" We chatted for a bit and got on the train. Saying goodbye I may have thrown in an extra ya'll. (I'm desperate, what can I say?) How weird is it that I ran into them?! And, Mom, you were right. All those times you told me to watch what I say because you really never know who's standing next to you on the train platform.

Monday was a day of rehearsals. Last minute my 3pm was moved to 5:30 so I ran some errands and I picked up my headshots at Reproductions (yay!). Rehearsal was interesting. We were huddled in the backstage area while another rehearsal went on onstage. I felt better having another one, though. Slightly less unprepared (figure that one out ;) I just find it unbelievable that I have spent more time rehearsing the scene changes than I have my actual scene.

Then we had our dress rehearsal. It was an hour late getting started (who's surprised?) but it ran pretty well. I got very nervous before our scene...and turns out rightfully so. My partner forgot his lines and started ad libbing on stage. I do not do well in these situations, It's why I love rehearsal. Finally we picked back up and pulled it together, but it was a mess. I'm meeting with him today to go over and over our scene. Hopefully that hot mess does NOT happen again. It's pretty much the worst feeling being onstage in front of an audience and have no idea what to do. It's frightening.

We open on Thursday at 8pm. I wonder if we'll start on time?

Monday, March 29, 2010

Theater of the Absurd. Just, Absurd!

Thursday I went to Reproductions and had a much more pleasant experience. They told me they could do better and that what Precision gave me was crap. I knew it! It was nice to know that I wasn't a crazy and the tests from Precision were laughable. Seriously, the guy laughed. Friday I went in to approve the tests at Reproductions and.....they were great! After a few adjustments (they blew up my face to ridiculous proportions, but fixed it immediately), I approved the tests and can pick them up Monday. Yay for getting things done!

I had a tech call time for 3:45 on Friday for the 8 min play festival. I ran to get there because reproductions took a bit more time than expected. The lobby was filled with actors stretched out lounging. They looked like they had been there a while. I braced myself while I asked what group they were. After a sneer, a guy said, "you're not going to believe it, but the 1:15 group just went in." Holy Hell!!!! Are-you-kidding me?! No phone calls were made to come two hours late, nothing.

I sat and I waited....and waited....and waited. I ran lines with my scene partner...I sat....I ran lines...I waited. At around 5:30 the director came out and made no apologies. "It's tech." We were told. People had work, had other rehearsals and lives...no one cared. Unbelievable. I asked what time we would be done that night (we had a choreography rehearsal afterward to figure out scene changes) he said by 11. WHAT?! Please tell me how I will be at this theater from 3:30 until 11pm for an 8 MINUTE SHOW? I literally will be onstage for 8 minutes. AND... I have now officially spent more time waiting for shit to happen than actually rehearsing. I was in shock. My scene partner ended up leaving because he had somewhere to be. That went over with the director really well. Not. I had to cancel my plans to meet up with my BF's mom. It was a mess.

By around 9pm actors started cracking. We were going nuts. Sassy comments all over the place, I think one girl started crying. It was a mad house.

It's always amazing to me how many people complain and bitch backstage, but when faced with anyone that can actually do something about the ridiculous evening they act like sheep. I made my aversion to the events of the evening and lack of care known to all a few times and I was told I was too big for my britches. Whatevs. The night was absurd! I understand actors are always afraid to burn bridges, but I've been walked all over too many times. I've decided I'm better than that, and I will stick up for myself when I see necessary. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Had we been in the union, that rehearsal would have been completely unacceptable. I realize we aren't in the union, but since when does that mean that we can be taken advantage of and treated like poop? I refuse. Call me too big for my britches, call me a pain, call me a bitch.

I know who I am.