Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My Inner Libra's Been a Bit Berserk.

I can't stop cracking up. I just read over my last couple posts and realized just how bipolar I must seem recently. I go from contemplating mangling strangers on the street to a video of my fam in love with each other set to a sappy song. Haha. My stomach hurts from laughing. You guys are nice to me for not making fun :)

But, really, I've never been one to shy from the truth. ...and Truth: I've been feeling a little off kilter. Highs and lows, figuring some shit out. And what can I say? I'm a libra. We like balance...I go crazy in one direction, even that out with a little crazy in the other direction.

Hopefully homeostasis is in my cards, however. The decision has been made! I have officially become a student at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and the program starts July 11! Until then, I have some pre-course work to do and I need to figure out how to use the online aspect of the program. That should be awesome considering my vast computer knowledge (now go back and read that sentence like it is saturated in sarcasm...right. I'm in for a frustrating few hours).

But I am so excited I can't even stand it! I'm excited to start working towards something tangible. At the end I will have my Health Coach and Wellness Certification and can set up a practice in any of the 50 states. I can't wait to start.

I have received some messages about my decision that I do want to mention. All have been positive and I want to thank everyone for your support and well wishes! You all are amazing.

Now, at the risk of sounding like that preachy book The Alchemist (Good messages but...I hated that damn book. There. I said it. Go ahead. Form an opinion. While we're at it- just kill two birds with one stone- I'm not a Will Ferrell fan either. So there.) ...In particular response to a few actors out there: I'm not giving up on my dream! I can't. I love acting too much and I need it in my life. I'm feeling farther along than ever and more confident than ever in myself and my abilities. I can't quit now!! But, that being said, I am with you all on needing to find stability in the other aspects of my life and wanting to be fulfilled in all areas - not just creatively. Therefore, I encourage you to keep truckin'.

I didn't even realize it, but I've always been looking for a quick fix. That next promo job, that next gig that will get me to next week or next month or my "big break". But I got SO tired. I spent so much energy on that, that it was hard to focus on my Acting career. And that makes NO sense. So I hear ya. I'm with ya. This shit is hard!

I recently had a convo with a writer friend of mine about how nice it will be when we can look back at all this craziness and laugh because we've made our hope happen. When we spend our "work day" doing what we love. And this day will come. I know it will. But, until then, I've decided to spend my "work day" doing something else I'm passionate about so that I'm motivated and fulfilled all the time. And, as a byproduct, I really think this will have a positive affect on my Acting career.

So, don't give up hope. As my Dad said to me when I told him I couldn't go on the way I was without serving jail time:

"It's Okay. So... we have some work to do."


  1. While I've always known you were a little off, I'm glad you're finding some balance. Or at least on your way there. I think getting certified is such a good step in the right direction. Freedom and stability are hard to find in a job that will support this life style.

    I also have to agree, you're making some major headway career wise. It's such an agonizingly slow process, but you're making the climb.

  2. The adjective "integrative" makes me sit up at attention because it reminds me of the "integrative medicine" pioneered by my main man, Dr. Andrew Weil. It is the way of the future -- if we are to have a future. Armed with this knowledge you will be a great healer, in addition to great performer. Performer-healer -- connections there, maybe?

    Citing the contrast between your writings of working on gotham's mean streets, on the one hand, and gauzy soft-filter moments with family, on the other, you write "[y]ou guys are nice to me for not making fun". Actually, we are enjoying the candor of your writing, and the righteous anger that many of us in NYC can relate to. E.g., I'm a native NY-er and yet I've never accepted the culture of rudeness that flourishes here. Your accounts are witty, exuberant and wise -- share more, as you desire.

  3. Yes, yes. Andrew Weil is active the school I'll be attending come July! I'm very excited and I think it's a great time to enter the health industry.

    Thank you so much for reading and I'm very glad you enjoy my rants and general observations. While I do (clearly) agree that there is a "culture of rudeness" here, I also very wholeheartedly believe that New Yorkers are a friendly bunch. But it is the occasional crazy that makes for a interesting life in this town.

    Thank you both for the well wishes and kind words! I truly appreciate you!

  4. Day-um! You on it! The Weil-man. You said the word "integrative" and led my mind to the connection.

    The "culture of rudeness" thing is ... complicated. There can be great civility within nabes but there are larger problems...we could get into history going back to the Five Points and earlier.

    You should have seen Gotham in the 80s and early 90s. Whole stalls in the men's room at the "Porn Authority" were taken over as studio apts. Talk about tippety-toes and flesh-eating bacteria -- ow! But I digress ...

    Luv ya,