Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I'm a Whore for a Metaphor

There's something about this time of year that propels me through the days with a sense of excitement. And thank goodness because I've been pretty overwhelmed with all the things on my plate right now- beginning to think my eyes may have been too big for my stomach at that all-you-can-eat buffet (What? We all know how I love terrible metaphors... That's 1).

I spend all summer in a sluggish state, dealing with my struggling body and trying to maintain my energy. But the second that crispness enters the air, I can feel the seasonal shift in my bones. Seriously, I would marry the onset of Autumn and consummate the crap out of the union if the NY state senate would pass that law.

But, it is true that in the past weeks I've had a hard time managing my time. I constantly wonder if I should be working on something else. ...Then the time I spent asking myself that question would have been better spent on the task... then I feel guilty for wasting time, in turn I waste more time feeling guilty... and that's when I try to resist the urge to sit on my kitchen floor and eat that jar of almond butter I love so much honey-bear style.

Not good for my mental health, not good for my productivity, not good for the size of my ass... And Lord knows I can't afford new jeans to accommodate said ass right now, so I need to change some things - (stay with me on this):

Maybe I've been thinking about things all wrong. I've been thinking about compartmentalizing but what if I merge? What if I think about things in terms of achieving a long term goal, not a short term task. It's a shift in thinking that will take some work, but the more I dwell in the "collective realm" and the less I let my mind shatter my life into a million little disjointed pieces, the less I should be like a 4 year old trying to put together an 8 and up puzzle... right? (That's 2)

Example: My room looked like the leftovers of Irene in Vermont ...just dryer (okay, so some of these are more like analogies, but whatever). However, I had so many other things to do that I put off getting the mess in order- the show, school, emails, mailings, the gym, work, scheduling... But my own personal FEMA worthy disaster area was always in the back of my mind sucking the ever living energy from me. And, by Monday I went bananas. Completely crazy. I honestly thought my roommate would find me sitting on my bed, draped in my clothing, eating papers and bills, and rocking myself numb.

No thought, just action. Went into major purge mode. Trash bags full of BS out the door! Took Monday and was going to take Tuesday, too but a job came up and a meeting and a reading... but WEDNESDAY I continued with the overhaul and when I get back on Friday (currently on Long Island celebrating Rosh Hashana. Shana Tova, my friends), I'm going to finish the mess. And I should, because it's for the greater good. I will be able to do everything else better once it's in order and I won't have to spend another minute worrying about it ...or the reactions of my parents if they were to see me hog-tied in the looney bin.

In conclusion, I gotta merge my shit! Amalgamate! Amass! (prepare for number 3) My life doesn't "match," but I gotta find a way to make it "go." I got to get the hell out of the low end Separates and dance my way into Designer Suiting. ...Okay fine. Lets be honest, Bridge Suiting...

So, that plate I filled at the buffet is one complete meal,
My puzzle is one age-appropriate cityscape,
and, it'll take some work, but I gotta drop the so-so skirt/top combo and focus on one fabulous dress.

How's that for speaking metaphorically?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Questioning the Kool-Aid and Kicking the Kilter With a Little Kumbaya

I lived through last weekend! I was able to do it all, shuffling my little booted feet around this town with the quickness! The nutrition school conference was my home base, and I popped in and out fairly seamlessly missing minimal "must-sees". I darted from nutrition geek to thespian to dancer to student to friend without missing a beat (well except for that moment I was trying to return an email as I got out of a cab and got my foot caught in my handbag strap. I have no idea how I did that and the cabbie said it was graceful... but, I'm pretty sure I missed that beat).

The conference was an experience. We all know, for me, honesty is generally favored. So...honestly, I have mixed reviews. Saturday there was a whole lot of Kool-Aid being passed around. And I've just never been one to blindly drink the Kool-Aid. I smell it, ask what's in it, what flavor, when it was made, what will it do for me, wait until someone else tastes it and doesn't die...then MAYBE I'll subscribe to a sip. It's just my nature. So day one of the conference was a lot of me sitting in a chair with one eyebrow raised (and those that know me personally, know that I mean this literally :). Sunday, however, instead of TALKING about being inspired and motivated I actually WAS inspired. The day was full of fantastic information about breakthroughs in nutrition and weight loss. About reversing the obesity epidemic and shutting down cancer and curing diabetes. LOVED IT! It really was a fantastic reminder of my passion for this whole nutrition shabang and I left Sunday with a renewed vigor to spread the nourishing news.

I also auditioned for Sleep No More on Saturday (a show here in the city I am DYING to see. Theater's so damn expensive we actors can't afford it). We did some movement improv exercises. It was held in the actual space where the show takes place and were to move about the "dining room" like we were gathering information from the room with our bodies. We were then to interpret the information, develop an opinion about it and react as such. Guess I gathered the wrong info because I was cut after the first round. But I had a blast! Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to perform that classical monologue I learned and practiced while on a bench in the projects across the street (during which, I was continuously interrupted by an old woman that wanted to cook me "the best fuckin' beans and rice I ever ate" and dodging a group of little boys that broke out into a very intense war with water bottle machine guns. It took some resolve not to ditch the audition and join the resistance).

Also got some new pics taken. Through a friend a photographer was offering a great deal and I thought it beneficial to take advantage. So... Sunday, at the tail end of Deepak Chopra's talk, I busted a move and ran downtown to have my pictures taken (a funny microcosm of my life when I go from taking in all of Deepak Chopra's zen energy and brilliance to hightailing it outta there like a mad woman. I laughed to myself). Now, I just have to review the pics and figure out what to do with them. Here are a couple samples:

Feel free to tell me what you think. I'm a terrible judge of my own pictures. Particularly when I'm acutely aware of what went into them: conference center all day, make up in the cab, whopping 20 min to shoot before tacking the name tag ­on and morphing back into a student.

In the days since my schizophrenic weekend I have tech-ed and dress rehearsed the new show. I also tried to control my freak-out-mode that results from being incredibly under-rehearsed.

Which brings me to last night. Opening Night. My first scene was a cluster f*ck (pardon the expression) of jumped lines, missing lines, zig zagging through the script. The scene has tons of irritatingly similar text messages being sent back and forth, human sound's difficult not having had the proper rehearsal time. And so, it was hot mess. But we lived through it. And, oh well, there's always tomorrow.

One other scene I was struggling with came together for me at dress rehearsal when I asked the new director what I was doing wrong and he looked at me and said, "I mean, your shit's not Hamlet." Holy hell! It clicked! I got it. Chill out and bring back the levity. I went home and worked on it and, last night, it GREATLY improved my performance and the scene as a whole. So, while I effed up the first, the second went pretty well and the third (the one in which we switched roles last week) went well, also. So two outta three ain't bad. least, at this point, that's what I keep telling myself when my mind starts dwelling on the one I screwed up.

I gotta find my center, again. This show has me completely off kilter. I feel very out of sorts and I don't like it. I feel like I've been grasping for something to save me from myself, and well, we all know nothing will. Gotta get all Hug-a-Tree/Kumbaya with some relaxation and turn my attention back inward. Stay focused.

Gosh...all that kinda sounds like I not only sipped the Kool-Aid, but funneled that shiz at a granola themed frat party. But... hell, whatever works!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Anyone For a Pep Talk?

Amendment to my last post:

So... I let stress, self doubt and the overwhelming knot in my chest get the best of me for a hot minute. BUT, I have come around!

I can control what I can control, and I can't control other shit. So, I will do the best I can with what I got and am lucky to have, and kick the crap out of all the great opportunities that are coming at me.

Pull it together, Sarah. Shut the eff up and get down to business. I'm souped up on antibiotics, healthy and nutritious food, Zicam chews, cough drops and stupid amounts of tea (this regimen has rendered me a little gassy and I smell like menthol, but dammit, who cares?!).

Do. It. (...and preferably well.)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Riddle: What Has Twelve Chins and Makes Out With Chicks?

Who's freaking out? Who's on the verge of a mental meltdown, sounds like a big hunk of man, has a few extra chins thanks to glands the size of tennis balls, might lose her mind in a sea of memorization, may flip out and shave her head, and body checked a smelly hipster this morning for not respecting her mother effing space? ...Give up? (you can't see me, but two thumbs are pointing 180 degrees from the comp screen at "this girl")

I'll come back to this, but I want to catch you up on last week when my sanity was much more intact:

I had an agent audition through the Actor's Green Room with 10 agents. I was warned that the they don't say much and that it's a pretty awkward few minutes you're in there. So equipped with that knowledge I tried to go in with as much energy and care free attitude as I could muster.

Turns out- people don't lie. That shit was awkward. But I read well and stayed true to myself (it was a scene from Ugly Betty originally done by Jaime-Lynn Sigler).
At the end we get comment forms from each agent as feedback. Some of my comments included:
"Great work, Very precise intention" (ok!)
"Nice read, connected to the role" (Thanks!)
"Your headshot makes you look pale, but you're tanner" (...?)
"You're a great listener" (oo! Good one!)
"Nice flirting" (Duh. ;)
"Good job, Very natural quality to your work" (Well, Thank you.)

I'll take 'em! Now to follow up and hope they see what I already know: that I'm a delight and I can make them disgusting amounts of money. :)

I also had a friend's bachelorette party (Naked Boys Singing? We were right up front... Where do I look? What do I do? They were very...Naked), catered a Fashion's Night Out throwdown that made me swear off heels for the next few months, dropped it like it was hot at a theater fundraiser, and helped a dear friend find the absolute perfect wedding dress. :) Not bad.

Anyhow, back to me LOSING MY MIND! So,we're in the middle of rehearsals for our upcoming show. It's a series of short plays in which I play a whole slew of characters and my actions range from making out with two girls and a boy to playing house furniture (Yup, you read that correctly). It opens Thursday (one week from today. One week and 4 hours from this moment that I'm typing, to be exact). I don't really know what to say about this process except that I'm concerned. Too much to do, not enough time or people to do it and we -the actors- have been left to fend for ourselves. No outside set of eyes to tell us what works and what doesn't. That is, up until last night. We met with our (last min addition) associate director and finally got some feedback. Thank baby Jesus. We did some character work and we heard a lot of: "great instincts, there's just a lot of work to do." Not news, Dude. Not. News. The question becomes: when do we do this work?

The cherry on top of last night came as we rehearsed the last scene of the night. It went something like this:
-we sat in our spots and began our read
-halfway through the director stopped us
-said, "it's not you guys, but I'm bored out of my fucking mind." (not such a good thing to hear)
-"Pass your scripts to the person to your left. Read as that character."
-We did so.
-"Much better. This is the new casting."

I started cracking up. Oh, no problem. Switch characters the week before we open. Sure! I mean, he was right, but add it to the list! I went home and decided I had two choices. I could let my stress get the best of me- cry and sit on my ass shoveling almond butter into my mouth with my fingers...or I can dance it out. I decided when in doubt, Dance. It was late so I put on my headphones and jumped around like an idiot. And while my sanity and my shrinking ass thanked me for shunning self pity and mega-calories, my respiratory system wasn't so appreciative. I started hacking up a lung like a smoker swimming laps BECAUSE...

On top of everything, I've been fighting off the flu for a few days now. Woo woo! Had 102 fever and my body was aching so bad I felt like the Central Park Jogger (:-/ I know. Not the most tasteful joke I've ever written...) But, I'm trying desperately to kick the crap out of the mess inside my body with a little help from the Zicam chews I've been popping like Skittles, but it's a slow road to recovery.

Which brings me to this weekend: Friday night rehearsal, Nutrition School Conference all day Sat and Sun, A kick-ass audition opportunity that came up mid-day Saturday (leaving the conference for a hot min to attend) and a sweet headshot deal that I couldn't pass up Sunday during my Lunch break from the convention. Are. You. Kidding. Me?? Did I mention I'm losing my mind? In the meantime I'm memorizing and working on my scenes, prepping for the audition-gotta learn a new monologue, catching up with Nutrition School, sending out a mailing and potentially booking a flight to LA (!! more on this to come!).

So, to sum it all up... If you don't hear from me for a while, no biggie. Not to worry. Just assume I've either thrown myself out the window or my head exploded into a million crazy little pieces.

(Oh. And the answer to the Riddle is Me.)