Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Friday, October 21, 2011

When Drowning in the BS, Remember to Giggle Through the Gurgle

Sweatpants? Check. Ginger tea? Check. Anxiety ridden heart flutter and accompanying lip munching? Check annnnd.... check.
Armed with the password for the protected videos on the Big Country Blues website, I snuggled up with my laptop and my nervous energy to watch the unreleased web series that I filmed a year ago. As you know, the series has been doing incredibly well at film festivals, and from the people that have seen it, it has gotten great reviews (yay!). After bugging the shit out of the director (he loves me for it :) because I need to get a reel in the works, I was given the go ahead to watch the episodes.
Usually when I watch myself onscreen I want to throw up. You know how you feel when you hear your voice back on an answering machine? -it's like that, but times a gabillion. However, I must say, this time I didn't feel the need to yack all over the screen. I don't know why. Of course a few of those, “Why did I say that line THAT way?” and “Why didn't I make THAT connection?” and “WT mother F, Sarah? THAT should have been stronger!” thoughts did pop into my head. ...Buuut, that can't be helped.
Anyhow, while watching it made me super pumped for it to be released into the world, it also brought up some very interesting feelings. It was one year ago, mid filming between NY and Nashville, that my life fell to shreds on the floor of a midtown apartment building. I lost a very important relationship and found myself in many complicated others, I had to pack up my life and find a new apartment, I left NYC to take a break from life while I attended a ridiculous number of weddings, and truth be told, I was drinking a little too much (all of this was chronicled and can be read in a three part series entitled, “When The Shit Hits the Fan” “Shit/Fan, Part Two” and “The Last of the Shit...and the Fan”) . But amid it all, I was blessed with that webseries. Surrounded by talented people, doing the job I know I was meant to do. Looking back, I was going through some major shit, just drowning in it (enjoy that visual?), but really I couldn't have been happier. I was working on a project I felt passionate about. Every day since then has been a search for that feeling. All this reminiscence was a nice reminder of why I run around this town like a crazy person- Which happens to be a nice segue into...
... Last week. I got an unusual call from my promotional boss asking if I was available to give a bus tour. About beauty and innovation in NYC. To a whole gaggle of magazine editors. Wearing a belted cardigan (gross). Working off of a script. For TWELVE HOURS! “What the shit, Boss?!” was my initial response. ...But turns out I can be swayed for a price. And turns out she knew that price...
And so, after my 10 page PowerPoint brief about what clothing/makeup was appropriate and familiarizing myself with the cheese-ball script- I boarded that bus looking like a librarian (and not the sexy kind) with the fear bubbling in my gut. I spent what ended up being the next 10.5 hours trying desperately to entertain a bus load of captive, jet lagged foreigners. I worked off the script. Ahem- “We hope you were able to rest and recharge in your sleep chambers last night. Now, are you ready to experience the city with new eyes, ears, minds, and hearts as we embark on a day of sight-sensing? Just buckle your seatbelts and get ready as we see, hear, smell, taste, and feel how true beauty and innovation collide!” Are you effing kidding me with that?! No. They weren't.
In between the douche-bag monologues, I jazzed it up a bit- talked about Soho, moved up through Chelsea. Threw some terrible, terrible jokes in there. Blabbered some bullshit about The Gugenheim. Then, I went into extensive detail about the “32 foot glass cube that is devoid of any steel structure” at the Apple flagship. I went on and on about the damn glass cube and its status as a landmark in the city, designed by Bohlin Cywinski Jackson Architecture (script), yada yada yada... and as we inched down 5th avenue and the store came closer and closer to our sight line... we saw that landmark giant cube...made of SCAFFOLDING AND PARTICLE BOARD!! The whole structure was covered! I started cracking up. Over the microphone. I couldn't help it! I had droned on and on about the “beauty and innovation” of the damn thing and then it looked like a treehouse my brother and I built in the backyard when we were twelve. I was lucky that everyone else thought it was as funny as I did. At the end of the day I was completely beat, just done. But I think that in the end it went fairly well. I got huge “thank you's” and even got invited to India to hang with one of the editors as they filed off the bus for dinner. Mission accomplished. ...I mean paycheck accomplished.
The rest of the days have been filled with auditions, nutrition school lectures, finance figuring (FML), a session with my delightful health coach, tours with lovely people, my first test for school (passed that business), rehearsals for the upcoming readings and drinking and eating too much to celebrate my 28 years of life. I spent my birthday day with a great workout, got my nails did, got a massage (!) -my first ever (it was ten minutes, but whatevs. Baby steps), baked some cookies... and then spent the night surrounded by family and friends. Ending the night shaking my ass and scrubbin' the ground at an all out dance party. All in all- a pretty good birthday.
I think 28 will be a good year. I've been through a lot this past one, now that I look back. I'm grateful to be able to think of everything as an experience, a story to tell. Lord knows it's helped when I was breaking up with my boyfriend, and covered in wood chips from a giant closet demolition in my living room, and standing in the numbing cold handing out flyers to ass holes, and giving upbeat tours in the absolute drenching rain, and handing out samples of the new falafel sandwich (get excited!), and wearing a slutty dress with a fake tattoo on my back... I could go on...
But I have so much good stuff happening and so many good people to share it with. And, holy hell, life is funny!! It reminds me of an experience from a while back that I almost forgot about-a conversation with a very profound cab driver. I got in the car very frazzled and clearly a bit messy, told him where I was going and said thank you. He asked how my day was, and after a deep breath I said, “To be honest, my day kinda blows!” I proceeded to laugh. Hard. He turned around and said very seriously in heavily accented English, “Don't lose that laughter.” “Oh, sir, I may have a good cry later,” I said with a smile. “No, no. That's okay, my dear. But you laugh again ten minutes later.”
Two things: Cab drivers are clearly sages in disguise, AND, it's not always easy to remember, but there's always something to laugh about.
...It's more than okay if it's ten minutes later.
Just don't. Forget. To laugh.


  1. Hopefully, none of the jet-lagged tourists you entertained will read your post! But if I were one of them and read your post after your tour, I'd be just as entertained.
    It was a great post. Congrats on your web-series. About the rough patch, who knows, one day you'll be able to use it for character personalization.

    I also have a blog where I write about acting. Check it out and if you find what I write interesting, feel free to comment and follow!

    Ad maiora


  2. Oh Sarah, I think we're all a little crazy. But in that good way. We can look back and laugh at those moments that are horrific at the time, but ridiculous in hindsight. And you're a laugher. So does that make you crazy too? I don't know.

    I am eagerly anticipating the release of BCB. You know, being a fan of your work and all. And remember..blah blah blah..everything that happens to us in this journey just fuels that fire inside. So, while shit hits the fan and you're on the floor covered in wood chips, that has made you stronger and the successful freakin "best actress" you are today!

  3. Sarah I love reading your blog! You are so determined and it's inspiring how you follow what you love to your stories are hilarious!! Hope all is well!!! xo, Molly

  4. My imagination has seized on the tour that you describe, turning it perhaps into something other than it was. Maybe it's the not-quite-pun "sight-sensing", but the whole segment sounds dreamlike, even hallucinatory, complete with otherworldly belted cardigan (which I'm imagining as something both retro and futuristic at the same time). I'm imagining you intoning the script with a trippy, svengali accent -- "sight-sensssinggg".

    These odd imaginings are quickly balanced, however, by your own no-nonsense dismissal of the whole escapade and its pre-ordained script -- "Are you effing kidding me with that". Haha! All the best...

  5. @Jacopo Paoloni
    Thanks so much for reading! I'll definitely check out your blog! ...and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind about someone I work for reading this...I try to be careful about what I say. No names, no companies! Fingers crossed!

  6. @Molly
    Thank you, Molly! It's so good to hear from you! Thank you for reading! I hope all is well in TEXAS!! I still can't believe it... :)