Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Bone to Prick...I Mean Pick.

I have a bone to pick. Some of you may call this subsequent paragraph a be it. It's been a long time comin'... It begins with a story:

Not the actual painting, but you get the point.

I stood staring at a painting that I'm sure had some major importance. It was painted by Picasso, and I know that that's a big deal. It was interesting, but let's be honest, I wasn't moved to tears (my Dad explains Picasso with a visual: he contorts his arms around his head and pulls one side of his face down, squinting an eye, slanting his mouth, just generally looking deformed. It's actually a pretty damn good rendition of a living Picasso...we're a cultured family...). Anyhow, the exhibit was downstairs in a pretty tight space without much room for movement. A frizzy-haired woman was standing next to me with her hand over her mouth moaning. Hmm-ing. Whatever. Another woman, without an option for an alternate route, tiptoed in front of us to get to the next room and we made eye contact. She whispered an apology, scrunched up her expression into an "eek!" face. I smiled and she smiled. And the frizzy bitch next to me came out with full force behind her words like she was straining to push them from her diaphragm and through her clenched teeth, "YOU DON'T WALK IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHEN THEY'RE LOOKING AT ART!!!!"  I'm pretty sure my face was one of fear and incredulity at the pretentious nature of her shitty attitude (we all know my face doesn't least not well). And all I could think was this: Stupid bitch, I mean Lady, you missed the art. You were too busy moaning and hmming and hawing, while I was the one that had a connection with another person. As fleeting and mundane as an everyday-apology is, that was the art, my frizzy-haired friend! Not you're false, showy, moaning orgasm of bullshit!

(Do you have any idea how often I want to say this to people???!!! Can you tell I've been running into a bunch of pretentious jerks recently?? :)

I mean, I'm an artist. I think. I love to create and have a knack for expression of all kinds. Exploring emotions, feelings blah blah blah (while my writing for public consumption is  pretty digestible, it's true that every now and again I can get a little out there in my personal stash - not that to be an artist you have to). Now. That being said. I do NOT need to walk around touting, "I'm an artist!" to everyone I meet. I don't need to tell everyone at a party how I'm feeling, or delve into detail about "delicate nuances" on the subway (that guy was a douche). I don't need to use big flowery words whose meaning even I'm a little foggy about only to look at everyone else like THEY are the big idiots for not knowing what I'm talking about.  I just don't need to do that! There comes a point where you say, "I'm an artist" so many times that it just sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that it's true. If you're spending so much time TALKING about being an artist, you're probably missing a whole lot of beautiful moments that you could actually be BEING an artist! Idiots.

...So that was the rant...

Wait. While I'm at it: You'd think that people with such a love for aesthetically pleasing things could dress themselves. Worst dressed group of pretentious people I've ever seen. Artsy bitch at the Frick should know that ruddy orange mom-jeans don't go with...well...anything. And I'm sure Caravaggio would agree.

And now I'm done. Thank you for indulging me. Moving on!

So time speeds up around the Holidays... right? It's gotta be science. Or something.

Overview (then I'll go back and elaborate. Stay with me, folks):
Tour of twenty-something Chinese people (not an English word in sight)
Audition/Callback/Cast in a Show (whoop whoop!)
Wedding in Boston (Blast!)
Host a Focus Group (Tiring...)
Tour of 40-some-odd teens in Soho (Love those kids)
Slop up some hummus for some people (Yup.)
Decorate like a maniac (my busted apt is now dripping in busted decorations)
Throw a Party (cook like a maniac)
Rehearse for Show (love)
Nutrition School things (I'm behind)

Now to elaborate:

So I'm cast in a new show. After the audition, I was unable to go to the callback (scheduling mishap with my 24 hour Boston Wedding Marathon) but the director worked with me and allowed me to meet with him. He explained the company then told me my audition surprised him so he made an exception about missing the callback. I was confused so I asked him to explain. He said, upon seeing me, he was expecting me to sit in my chair and perform my monologue resting on the fact that I look the way I do...And then to his surprise, I didn't do that at all. "You're trained. And refined. You are an actor," I could have hugged him right there (he may say this to everyone, I have no idea, but there's no use BELIEVING that. I will take it at face value and put it in my pocket for the next time my confidence is sub-stellar as I sit in an audition room amongst a million girls that look like me, but are skinnier/prettier/taller/shorter/tanner/younger. That way I win. :)

Now about the show: it's a little performance-arty, but it seems it will maintain a sense of humor at the same time. The first rehearsal was interesting. Many exercises to get us out of our heads and into ourselves. Many more exercises getting the group to think as a unit, rather than as individual players and to get us focusing on reacting in the moment rather than creating a moment. If that makes any sense (how's that for art-y :). We will be performing amongst the audience, which is exciting for me and my love of subtlety and staying honest. We'll see! More to come on this front.

I did a promo handing out hummus samples. Good news: I wasn't outside in the freezing cold. Bad news: I did a promo handing out hummus samples. I started getting fancy, drawing people with tag lines like, "There's Hummus Among Us, Folks!" I only freaked out a couple of people. I also explained to a lovely old man what the "bizarre looking paste" was while he smelled it and looked at it like it was more like a flesh eating disease than a ground chickpea. I honestly blew his mind after he ingested it. He went around the cafeteria telling everyone about the crazy delicacy I was handing out. Pay check completed.

A little busted, A little charming
I busted out my "Christmas Crazy" persona and decorated the apartment with Jack's 99cent decadence. *cue the Mariah Carey Christmas Album* Our tree is a puny little plastic thing and missing two legs. It's shoved in the corner to stay standing and it leans to one side, but dammit, it looks effing cute. It has character. I just keep telling myself Christmas is about baby Jesus and kick ass gifts not extravagance... and size doesn't matter. ;)

I feel I've lost my way a bit with Nutrition School in the past few (how quickly confidence wanes). I held a small focus group of friends (lured with a healthy home-cooked meal) and I found out some helpful but frustrating information. Part of my problem is I've been eating like shit recently, so I'm feeling a little hypocritical (not to mention porky) at the same time. Forgive and move on. I have started work on a new nutrition centered blog. Look out for it in the coming days/months/whoknows. I need to set a deadline. Hard doin's this time of year.

Sorry it took so long to write to you, dear blog. I know sometimes it seems that I neglect you like the forgotten silken tofu in the back of the fridge (remind me to throw that guy out...) But, you are on the forefront of my mind frequently. And I have a very important promise to make you:

I hereby promise, I do solemnly swear, to NEVER be a pretentious prick. About my art or about nutrition. Because no one likes pricks. ...well, you know what I mean...


  1. Congrats on the show! I'm gonna remember that story the next time I'm in an audition room

    I feel the same way about Christmas time, it's a flyin by! Ahhh

  2. First off the tree made me laugh. For real laugh. And mainly because we acquired a real one this year that too was propped in a corner and leaning on the wall so as not to fall down. I swear those Christmas tree stands are impossible.

    And You are an artist. I love seeing people affirm that about themselves. And a damn good actress. I think it takes one to see and acknowledge that artful meeting of two people in gallery. I am sorry for your run-in with madame pretension. I feel like they're coming out everywhere. Lately it's all i run into. Pretentious bastards who are clearly compensating for something...

    This is like fitting pieces of a puzzle together. I'm reading about your dinner party now and remember Sam going.