Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My Inner Libra's Been a Bit Berserk.

I can't stop cracking up. I just read over my last couple posts and realized just how bipolar I must seem recently. I go from contemplating mangling strangers on the street to a video of my fam in love with each other set to a sappy song. Haha. My stomach hurts from laughing. You guys are nice to me for not making fun :)

But, really, I've never been one to shy from the truth. ...and Truth: I've been feeling a little off kilter. Highs and lows, figuring some shit out. And what can I say? I'm a libra. We like balance...I go crazy in one direction, even that out with a little crazy in the other direction.

Hopefully homeostasis is in my cards, however. The decision has been made! I have officially become a student at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and the program starts July 11! Until then, I have some pre-course work to do and I need to figure out how to use the online aspect of the program. That should be awesome considering my vast computer knowledge (now go back and read that sentence like it is saturated in sarcasm...right. I'm in for a frustrating few hours).

But I am so excited I can't even stand it! I'm excited to start working towards something tangible. At the end I will have my Health Coach and Wellness Certification and can set up a practice in any of the 50 states. I can't wait to start.

I have received some messages about my decision that I do want to mention. All have been positive and I want to thank everyone for your support and well wishes! You all are amazing.

Now, at the risk of sounding like that preachy book The Alchemist (Good messages but...I hated that damn book. There. I said it. Go ahead. Form an opinion. While we're at it- just kill two birds with one stone- I'm not a Will Ferrell fan either. So there.) ...In particular response to a few actors out there: I'm not giving up on my dream! I can't. I love acting too much and I need it in my life. I'm feeling farther along than ever and more confident than ever in myself and my abilities. I can't quit now!! But, that being said, I am with you all on needing to find stability in the other aspects of my life and wanting to be fulfilled in all areas - not just creatively. Therefore, I encourage you to keep truckin'.

I didn't even realize it, but I've always been looking for a quick fix. That next promo job, that next gig that will get me to next week or next month or my "big break". But I got SO tired. I spent so much energy on that, that it was hard to focus on my Acting career. And that makes NO sense. So I hear ya. I'm with ya. This shit is hard!

I recently had a convo with a writer friend of mine about how nice it will be when we can look back at all this craziness and laugh because we've made our hope happen. When we spend our "work day" doing what we love. And this day will come. I know it will. But, until then, I've decided to spend my "work day" doing something else I'm passionate about so that I'm motivated and fulfilled all the time. And, as a byproduct, I really think this will have a positive affect on my Acting career.

So, don't give up hope. As my Dad said to me when I told him I couldn't go on the way I was without serving jail time:

"It's Okay. So... we have some work to do."

Friday, May 27, 2011

Rip Off the Band-Aid. Surprise! I Win.

Last week was my Dad's birthday. He and my Mom had no idea that I planned to spend the weekend celebrating with them. After a lot of planning, an easy plane ride, and an ATL mass transit situation (Steven, don't even think I'll let you get away with making me take Marta. Contrary to what some ATLers think: Marta is definitely NOT Smarta...) I was able to surprise my parents with a trip home. They've been kinda worried about me - What, with my threats of poking out strangers' eyes and heaving my body into oncoming traffic and all.

Check out this video. Try to ignore my ridiculous cackle and watch my Mother. It's pretty awesome:

video

How perfect is my Mother's reaction? Hilarious!

Now, I'm not good at keeping secrets. I'm waaaaay too honest. There is certainly no spy work in my future. It took everything I had to lie to my parents. "No, Mom...I can't come home for the party next weekend...I have two rehearsals and a tour I would have to (swallow hard) ...cancel." "Happy birthday, Dad!...Oh, I'm in a cab on my way to an audition I'm late for...(from the passenger seat of my bro's car driving down the Atlanta highway)." But I did it! With the help of my brother and sister-in-law, we pulled it off.

It was so nice to be home, too. A much needed burst of energy for me and a lovely time spent with my people. I was able to get a recharge and come back to NY with a pep in my step and I've hit the ground skipping (so much more fun than running, right?) This brings me to: SOME BIG CHANGES!

I have put a lot of thought into what's next for me. As Obama says - Let's be clear: I'm in no way ready to give up acting. In fact, just the opposite. I'm becoming more confident in that career by the second. But, realistically, until I get to where I'm going I need something else and I'm tired of the band-aid jobs, the constantly searching for odds and ends to pay the bills while I divide my energy in 75 different directions, spinning my wheels like a mother f*cker and only sometimes getting somewhere. I'm in need of a long term solution. And so, while the cure isn't here, yet...I have found the neosporin to my band-aids. The cure is on the horizon! (you still with me? As we all know, metaphors are not my forte.)

I'm constantly reading about health and nutrition. I'm a freak about food and fitness and a firm believer in "you are what you eat." I slip whole wheat into whatever I can, I try to fool my Dad with low cal recipes, I even once tried to make all natural cheese sauce for a nacho party (I know, I know. A Georgia girl against Velveeta???-but what the hell is it anyway? Needless to say, the sauce came out a little weird, but dammit it WAS all natural...) So, I have decided to look into... dun dah dah dunnnn...

Nutrition School! I want to get certified to be a health coach! I talked to some helpful people in the biz (thank you, Brittany and Ady) and I think it's a great fit for me. I'm super pumped about it. I get a little flutter in my heart just thinking about all the things I'll learn. With my very supportive family behind me, I sat in on a webinar and coming up in an hour or so I have a phone interview with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. It's a year long program and I know that it will take a lot of work and energy, but there's a light at the end of THIS tunnel. Just what I need.

I would keep going as a tour guide and while I've cut back on promo stuff for a bit (for my sanity) I would keep picking up shifts here and there while in school. In addition I'd continue my acting career and focus on getting to where I KNOW I belong with that.

It's a lot. A hell of a lot. But the fact of the matter is that I want to do what I love. I want to make it work and build a life that I can sustain. And, As long as I fill my life with things I'm passionate about, I feel like I've won. So in conclusion, between me and Charlie Sheen...everybody's winning.

Now enough with the self-help bullshit. In other news I'm getting my marketing materials together to promote the crap out of myself (Not literally. That's gross...). The staged reading I'm doing was moved to next week. And...

The season finale of DATE TO MATE airs Sunday! Please tune in to ShalomTV OnDemand and watch! This one's a doozy!

Oh, and congrats on making it through the "rapture". Good work. Well done. I am concerned about all the crazies, though. I just don't think they make enough Kool-Aid...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Don't Stress about Life, There're Cocktails in Hell

So I'm in considerably better spirits this go 'round. I've slept -which is key. I've said "no" to some things that I usually wouldn't have been able to. I've just, generally, taken care of myself.

That being said, I'm still a skoch lost. I think I've always been one of those people operating on my own time. I wait things out until the world pushes me. My mom always says when I was born I was in no hurry. I stayed in a stroller until I was so big I was shoved in the damn thing like a sausage. When learning to drive I wouldn't turn left onto Earl Dr. when I was told because it led out to the main road and I was only comfortable in the neighborhood. But we all know that once my time came, I accepted the challenges and never looked back. Once out of the stroller, you couldn't get me to stop dancing from place to place. Once onto Earl Dr. I had the windows down and the radio on. I think I just wait for the world to let me know I'm ready. And this past week, the world has been screaming at me like a two year old in the candy isle. Consider my attention, gotten. World, I hear you. You can shut the hell up now.

I've had many conversations in the past week about what's next and I feel closer to an answer, but not quite there yet. I have faith that I will work it out and I trust in the order of the universe. All will be right. As Rilke (my favey-fave) says, "wish that you may find patience enough in yourself to endure, and simplicity enough to believe; that you may acquire more and more confidence in that which is difficult... And for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me: life is right, in any case." ...he's such a freakin' smarty pants.

The rest of my week last week cruised along at a steady state of "kinda shitty," to be honest. Well, until the weekend. I had my first tour group complain (in my defense they were crazies. I could NOT please them, no matter how hard I tried...and Lord knows, I tried.) But that's okay, because in the same week, I got two five star reviews - So screw the crazies. I had some more work shifts that seemed to defy the rules of time. On a happy note, I celebrated a good friend's graduation from grad school, and I went to support some talented friends in a one act play competition.

Perhaps the coolest of the weeks events came on this past Monday when I went to Inside the Actor's Studio (I have a bestie who works closely with THE James Lipton :) . It was the cast of Modern Family - in my opinion the best show on television. I loved every second of it. I soaked it in and listened as they all went through their super normal childhoods and supported each other as they recounted how they got to where they are. There really is nothing like being a part of a cast. It's a closeness that's hard to find elsewhere. I found it pretty inspiring. Not because of their talk about craft or process, but because they talked a lot about insecurities and what its like being an actor. Julie Bowen quoted her castmate Ty Burrell by saying, "Acting is fear management. It's all about controlling your fear." She talked about trusting in everyone else that she's doing a good job, because she can't tell. She said at one point, "I keep waiting for everyone to find me out. Realize that I'm not really supposed to be here." I loved her for saying that. We really are all the same. Same questions, same fears, same dream. It really doesn't matter where we fall on the spectrum of success.

I followed up with the Discovery Channel Callback and I'm still in the running! Just as I suspected they are taking some time with the project. So I should hear from them soon. I have some auditions coming up and I'm doing a staged reading with the PlayClub of Stop Kiss. I play Sara, the midwestern transplant and dabbling lesbian with an unfortunate fate. I'm having a blast working on it. That's Wednesday.

In the meantime I guess I'll work out the rest of my hot disaster...I mean, my life.

...That is if we live past the Zombie Apocalypse on Saturday. If not, well...I may be seeing you in hell. You bring the crudite and I'll make a signature cocktail: The Burning Bellini. Its champagne with a fireball dissolving into bubbles. :) delish.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Sarah, You are Not Ok.

Dude. Y'all. This past week officially did me in. My body is pissed. It is rebelling like whoa. My feet kill, my stomach's a mess, my knees ache like Tanya Harding got to 'em...

Every day this week I had between 2 and 5 very different events scheduled. Flyering shifts, promo jobs, auditions, readings, tours... you get the picture. Of course each event required a different outfit: all black for flyering, cute clothes for "sexy girl" audition, fierce clothes for "female spy" audition, somewhere in the middle for "mobster's girlfriend" audition... "How do you do this?" you may be asking yourself. Well, let me set the scene for you: I stumble into my fourth Starbucks of the day carrying my purse, my "Mary Poppins" oversize tote of clothing options, make-up and headshots, and generally another small bag that contains my lunch/snacks for the day. I make my way to the bathroom and as I wait in the line that inevitably winds it's way through the cafe, I go over the sides for the next audition or get the info for my next promo fresh in my brain from my trusty IPhone (that hopefully has enough juice to sustain the day. Thursday I wasn't so lucky. I'm now besties with Jason, the manager over at the AT&T by Shetler Studios. We spent some time together...). Once in the bathroom, I survey the area for the most clean looking floor space and set up shop to change. I balance precariously on my pair of flat shoes while I change pants (It's always a bummer when I lose my balance - touch my toes to the scary Starbucks bathroom floor. I invariably scream out an obscenity in this instance and hop back onto the shoes in hopes that there's a five second rule for catching flesh eating diseases). After a successful Superman-quick-change, of sorts, my little legs are usually running to the next appointment or job, while I try to breathe through it and not drip sweat. It's a scene. I'm a scene.

Amid the madness, I did have some auditions of note this week. I got that callback from the Discovery Channel to play a mobster's girlfriend/wife. I showed up at the audition and picked up what they were calling "sides," but was really just a scenario that we were then supposed to improv. "Aw, Shit." was my first impression. But I sucked it up and introduced myself to my less-than-enthusiastic scene partner in the waiting area. I did my best to be open with him and get comfortable.... he had ABSOLUTELY no interest in doing the same with me. He offered one word answers in between chewing some Whole Foods concocted trail mix, sideways glances and a condescending tone (the mix appeared to be almonds and raisins from the looks of the half-chewed, pasty, mess in his mouth...*sidenote*). He was a freakin' delight.

We went in did the scene and I was asked to stay and read for some other characters. The last of the three times I went in to see the head of the production company, we were asked to do a violent, emotionally charged scene involving a hint of domestic abuse. My scene partner (a much nicer and more open individual than the previous A-hole) and I set our boundaries before we started. I said he could touch me and vice versa. We started the scenario and before I knew it, I was pinned up against a wall with his hand on my neck, fighting back tears that wouldn't stop. It. Was. Awesome. I said thank you and left with a good feeling, but you just never know. Sure enough I got a call not an hour later asking how I felt about dying my hair BLOND! You better believe I said I was open to it! Now, she SAID they definitely want to cast me... but I haven't heard from her since. I wrote a thank you note, and I'm waiting to see what happens. They were slow on the callbacks, so I'm thinking/hoping the time schedule is just a little lax on this project. We'll see!!!

As far as the other auditions... I was cast in a show that I had to turn down because of lack of information. There was a time I would have accepted anything that came my way, but now I need to know what I'm getting into before I commit my time to anything. It's a nice feeling to know that I'm moving forward in that regard. Among the other auditions for the week, I had a fun one with friends from the PlayClub I've been going to. It's an original musical and I was given the opportunity to dance at this audition. I'm excited to hear from them, as it would be awesome to work with such talented people that do work that I truly believe in. One other audition stands out in my brain. It was for a film and it was a very cold read-minutes to look over the script. But, I got in the room and the casting director explained the character to me and, somehow, she just made sense. A little lost, on a trip with a stranger after a breakup, about to go back to reality and a new job... I felt like I knew her, like I've been her. I can only hope that my audition conveyed that connection I felt with the character. And so... I wait.

After a week of craziness that, actually, never ended - I worked through the weekend and I'm still going, I had a day of revelations. Maybe it's that I'm drained, exhausted, sleep deprived. Or, maybe it's that I've hit my breaking point. But either way I've decided things in my life have to change. I worked a bunch of shifts by myself this past week, which is always a test in mind control, and I think it simply got to me. I worked a double today, and as I stood for five hours on the streets of the Financial District, I officially lost my mind. I went from a girl with a usually optimistic disposition with sarcastic undertones, to a girl contemplating suicide. I actually thought about running into traffic...but then realized that the cars in the area go really slow and I'd probably just end up a quadriplegic and then I'd really have problems. But, in all seriousness, I stood on the corner, fighting back tears, swearing that if one more person shoved their hand in my face instead of saying, "no, thank you" I was going to gnaw their arm down to a nubbin' right there on Wall Street. I was going to poke out their eyes with the corners of my semi-gloss finished flyers. These thoughts: NOT OK. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the work. Grateful for the money. I absolutely LOVE most of the girls I work with... but I can't do it anymore. I have hit a wall. And so, between weighing the consequences of both homicide and suicide, I had some ideas for making changes. More about this will probably come in the near future. I don't want to put the cart before the horse... if that makes any sense.

This week is more work and more work. I'm going to try desperately to remain calm and sane. I mean, hell, I hear the world is ending in two weeks, anyway... Which better not be true. I've started a new regimen of 1200 calories, no alcohol and running a few miles a day to get my body happy again and if I find out that I should have been drunk, making out with good looking strangers and eating my weight in melted cheese and tiramisu because the world is done-zo, I'm gonna be ticked.

Wish me luck. I really hope I can resist the urge to go ape-shit on some rude passersby this week. It's a precarious situation, right now: my personality. Watch out.

...kisses! :-/

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Get Out My Face Crazy Lady, I Got Some Hipsters to Judge

I just realized... my last post was my 100th post!! I feel like I should throw a party or something. Or, maybe the sole fact that the last 100 posts have kept me sane this past year is celebration enough. Either way, thanks to you all for reading! I'm always shocked that anyone other than my parents reads this thing (and p.s. my parents are amazing. My editors. My dad tells me when I'm sounding a liiiitle too bitchy and my mom tells me when my spelling is less than stellar. MEGA thanks to them for their patience and insight).

I filmed the season finale of Date to Mate last Saturday. Of course I had a fabulous time with those friends and I was able to do some work that I'm proud of. (Watch the trailer here: Date to Mate Ep 7 Trailer) I'm excited to see the end result (a little more conflict this episode!). I also got GREAT news. The network wants to bring us back for another season! And, like, for real - with contracts and a pay check! Whoop whoop! Of course, this is all contingent upon raising money from independent ShalomTV fans... but I have faith like whoa. Some pics from the shoot:
Me/Zoe with Ben, the amazing DP and good friend

That's a wrap on Season One!

So, I'm sure you've been waiting on pins and needles to hear about the Eastover meal. Well, some was good. Some not so much. The chocolate caramel matzoh was a hit (though I did get some grief for using whole wheat matzoh. God forbid I try to sneak a little fiber into a holiday feast). All in all it was a good celebration and I got to hide some eggs in a bar. Not bad.

The past week has been mostly a week of work. Tuesday I decided to take a free seminar at Reproductions on getting an agent. It was the first step in my month dedicated to moving my career forward. For a free seminar it really was informative and super helpful. We were asked what success meant to us. Then, we had to turn to the person next to us and tell them what that was. I bonded with the gorgeous model-girl to my right over similar ideas of success - Pay rent with money from performing, put "professional performer" on my tax return...legally, do work I'm proud of. It was nice to sit there with her and be in cahoots for those three hours. I left with hope and drive to get shit done, which is just what I was looking for. It's a hell of a lot of work, but with focus and sheer will, I really think I can do this. Which is a good feeling.

I had two lackluster tours last weekend. During which I was scolded by a crazy local lady about taking up too much room on the sidewalk when she wanted to walk faster than our group (Lord knows her saying, "excuse me" was just too much work. She was a close-talker, too. Gross.) I was told by yet another crazy lady that my tour was what's wrong with Soho - too many people and too much shopping (and p.s. this was on Broadway which is simply a glorified shopping mall and she was carrying about 6 or 7 shopping bags herself...so seriously, Lady? Sorry you miss the beatnik poets and the strung out artists, but gentrification of the area started in the 80's, and btw that is not even CLOSE to my fault. It's time to adapt, bitch... or move). Well, that turned into a rant...

Anyhoo, I also worked a hilarious hipster party at a posh gallery in the Meatpacking District. I was assigned to coat check with a friend and we were posted up at a table outside the gallery. We spent the night looking through giant glass walls into Hipster Heaven. There was no tip jar and I found it hilarious when we were asked for change for a five, which we clearly didn't have. ...Really, man with a Burberry coat, Prada Umbrella and Jack Spade bag? After a lovely conversation about your evening at the party? Oh, good, scowl and say, "Oh... sorry..." slooowly back away from the table with your hands up when we don't have any. Classy. That's right, Sir - We totally just judged you. BIG time. ...We didn't even get a dollah from the hot drunken mess that asked for her bag about 15 times and wanted us to figure out where to charge her phone for her. People crack me up! Whopping 5$ in tips total made for the evening. I bought Tic Tacs and a banana on the way home to celebrate. I ate the banana first...

Sunday I spent all day in the park and burned the hell out of the backs of my legs. I have a sweet shorts tan. I'll have to slather up my bum with some self tanner and hope for the best. I'm okay with it, though. I just think it's a freakin' miracle that winter ended.

This coming week is beyond nuts. I have 5 scheduled auditions, 1 callback (from that audition a million years ago to play a mobster's wife!! Pumped!), 3 flyering shifts, 3 other promotional shifts, two tours, and a reading....whew!

Wish me broken limbs and the strength to keep going this week. I am gonna need it... along with many many milligrams of caffeine...and some aloe.