Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Out Come the Santa Claws

“Are you okay?” the station agent asked me with a very concerned look in his eyes. “Do you need help?”
I smiled, laughed a bit. “I swear. I think I'll be okay.” I managed, as I wiped a bead of sweat from my chin.
I must have looked like I was battling the black plague. I was lugging two huge bags, my hair was stuck to my forehead, and drips of sweat poured down my cheeks falling onto my loosened scarf. I felt the flush of fever on my face in harsh contrast to the cold chill of NY on my neck. People were staring.

I was miserable. The morning rush hour foot traffic streamed about around me like ants; I was the disruptive foot in the middle of the hill.

I got my ticket and settled onto the Metro North train. Peeled off layers of clothing and sat in my undershirt, soaked and panting, as my body worked to break the 103 degree fever. The past few days had already been a comedy of errors consisting of my receiving the wrong date for a job, waking up at 6 and schlepping to Grand Central, only to find out I ACTUALLY needed to do the same thing again TOMORROW.

I was supposed to arrive up north “camera ready.” I had visions of them horrified at the sweaty-mess imposter that showed up in place of the girl whose headshot they saw a few days earlier. I imagined them holding up the picture, glancing at me looking like a drowned refugee, back at the smiling picture, to me with the plague, to the picture...

Luckily my body pulled itself together by the time I got there, and with a lot of hand sanitizer and Advil I made it through the day filming a local commercial for a car dealership. “Tell me about financing...”

I've now been battling this flu-situation for over 5 days. I've canceled plans and auditions, been unable to attend parties, essentially slept my way through the last full week/weekend in the city before home-for-the-holidays. Oh, but not before slopping together a Christmas party that I had planned for weeks and was unable to cancel after I misjudged how long this illness would linger.

I have tried to remain positive. I've smiled, and joked, and mustered energy for most of this bullshit sickness. I've been witty and upbeat as I laid in bed experiencing some odd mix of shivering and sweating, with my body aching and a thermometer perpetually protruding from my lips. But, it's official! I am OVER it.

F*ck the Flu! Just f*ck f*ck f*ck it.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS and, I have to tell you, the white lights and angels I had in mind for this time of year are a little different from the kinds one sees from her death bed. I have yet to decorate a tree. I have yet to sip tea at a holiday market. I have yet to wander the city taking in the freakin' holiday spirit with a goddamn hot beverage in my hand and the smell of warm f*cking nuts in my nostrils!!!

...so...
I'm kinda in a mood...

BUT, I have glimmers of hope that I will pull myself out of it. I've read articles about good people doing good deeds, I've found some great gifts online, I've painted my nails in true Holiday fashion... This week, I will make an effort to douse myself in some f*cking Christmas cheer if it's the last thing I do. ...which it may be since this fever may ruin me like Beth in Little Women. (spoiler alert: the bitch dies.)

So...
Happy Holiday season! Seriously. I mean, Christmas dinner this year may consist of scrambled eggs with a side of Tamiflu, but dammit it will be served on a freakin' snowman plate.

Ho. Ho. H-bleh.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Sarah Does December.

Saturday morning. Here I sit. In bed. Make-up from yesterday still smooshed across my face, looking like a three dollar hooker on a Tuesday. Surrounded by the remnants of my manic life - Highlighted scripts, vitamin bottles, articles of clothing, books, water bottles, odd Christmas wrapping strewn about my room like a I fled suddenly and could pack only what I could carry. In truth, this week nearly killed me and my hot messiness was last on the list of things to address.

It was one of those test weeks imposed by the universe to see if my sanity stands up. I was multiple personalities, changing intentions left and right, up and down. Morning to night playing a different character every few hours.

It all started last weekend with The Gate Agent. I was flown to Pittsburgh to film an ethereal short film in which I played some creepy weird love child of the Angel Gabriel and Dexter. 

told ya.
The hours were long. Very long. But at the end of the marathon weekend, I was at the airport unloading my bag from the producers car when he handed me an envelope.
“Here's your paycheck.”
I know I must have looked a bit odd in my moment of hesitation, but I honestly felt like I was stealing from this man. It's quite a feeling to make money doing the thing you love the most. Payed to be my creative, nutty self for a fun filled weekend surrounded by interesting people in a new city. You're kidding, right?

On Set. With Writer- Mike Smith, Director Damiano Fusca, and Actor Amadeo Fusca

More! Please! (...just thought I'd boldly put that out into the Universe...)

I came home to business meetings on Monday (after a hiatus for my partner's honeymoon we were PUMPED to get back into the swing of things. Lots going down these days!)

Then it was full speed ahead for the next days of 4:30am wake ups, odd jobs, shopping tours, pop up auditions and call-backs. I would run from “Young Mom Selling Blanket at Garage Sale” to “Unintentionally-Insulting, Jilted Potential Lesbian” to “High End Shopping Concierge” to “Scarf Peddler at Fancy-Schmance Cocktail Party” to “Health Guru with a Potty Mouth” to “Plain Old Sarah attempting to have a Social Life” to “Psychologist Talking Tourist Out of Body Image Meltdown”...the list could go on. I subsisted on Protein Bars, Green tea and baby carrots this week. ...with some fancy-party leftover Cipriani Salmon thrown in the mix.

In a convo with my Father, I think he summed it up pretty well, “Sarah. You get yourself into some shit.”
“...yes, Dad. Yes, I do.”

That being said, as the week came to a close, I stood on my beloved L train on my way home from a date, with my feet aching so badly I thought I may fall over, surrounded by tipsy, mustachioed hipsters ...and my heart was full. I mean, sure, along the way I spilled coffee all over my face, was proposed to by a potential gang leader, was unaware I was supposed to be in the midst of horrible depression in an audition and went in as bright and chipper as a cheerleader at Nationals. So, it's not to say I didn't have hiccups along the way, however, I did not do a single thing this week that I didn't love doing. How many people can say that? 

I worked like a dog running from opportunity to great job to opportunity.

I'm lucky. I may not know my ass from my face at certain moments, but the goal all along has been to fill my life with things that I love. Those things have changed along the way and, Lord knows (and you all do, too, for that matter) I've adapted. But last week, as I sat through a chemo treatment with a good Actor-friend of mine, whose life has taken unexpected twists and turns, I was completely impressed and in awe of her spirit. It's one that only comes from having passion. And I want that. Constant re-invention, learning, DOING.

I don't want to get overly cheesy and my goal is not warm anyone's heart to the point of vomit inducing. But I'm a happy camper over here. Exhausted and beyond enjoying these pajamas and this bed and this cup of tea like my puppy-nephew Lincoln enjoyed Thanksgiving: 



but a happy camper. 'Nuff said.

...well almost 'nuff. Other news!!
I was cast in a show this week, also. Details to come!

And...

I'm gonna be an Aunt! My full, official title will be “Fun Aunt Sarah.” (FAS for short, according to my brother, so that it leaves the F up to interpretation... he's a delight. :)

You may not know this, but I have a fear of Pregnant women. It's nothing personal, and I know it's not catching...it's just the whole thing kinda creeps me out. I mean how does this happen?! ...I mean, I know HOW, how ...it's just so weird! I spent Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law occasionally grabbing my hand and sticking it on her belly to feel the alien...I mean baby, kick. I would respond with desperate whimpers and, “Mom! Ugggh. Mom! She's making me touch it!"

...but, truth: I have a new found obsession with baby stores. I can't stop. I'm gonna love the crap out of this kid. ...not that it will need any help with that.

So, here's to December! I'll raise my lower calorie, vegan Nog to a productive and celebratory month of awesome. 

So far, so good.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

NYC and Me: A Volatile Affair

There are milestones, and then there are MILESTONES. Next week marks a milestone so freakin crazy I almost don't believe it.

They say that if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I always laughed at that statement, but looking back on the last 10 YEARS, I can honestly say I wholeheartedly agree. I mean, don't throw me into a prison shower or drop me in a war zone, but I really do think that I could make a home anywhere at this point.

You see, next week I celebrate my ten year mark in NYC. It was ten years ago that my parents said goodbye to me outside the dorms at FIT and I pushed my tongue hard against the roof of my mouth so as not to let tears give away my fear. I waved goodbye as their car disappeared into 7th ave traffic and I ducked behind the stairwell to cry silently at the terrifying solitude of moving to NY by myself at age 18. If you would have told me then that I would still be here ten years later, I would have laugh/cried right in your grill. But somewhere along the way, the city crawls right into your being. It seeps into your blood and sets up roots in your bones. It takes hold of your heart with a strong grasp, yet does so very gently and imperceptibly so that it's hard to tell when it happened or how.

But inevitably you realize that your stomach aches when you've been away too long. That when the plane loops around to land at La Guardia, the sight of the buildings warms your insides. On a Friday night, you look around at your motley crew of friends and realize that they've become your family. I hate to sound cheesy, but hell, after ten years of hard NY living I deserve a little introspective softness.

I never really considered myself a NYer. I'm a Georgia girl (though with my love of eff bombs and vegetarian tendencies, you'd never know it). But I've become acutely aware in the recent months how accustomed to this town I've become. It's when I realize my body instinctively knows which side of the train platform is closest to my destination, or how to hold my umbrella going under scaffolding so as not to drip on any disgruntled wet city-folk. It's when I catch myself turning my head at juuust the right angle to avoid total hair-style destruction from the approaching train's wind. And it's the moment I bond with a stranger in a single glance over the crazy that's screaming about “God's love” and “the reckoning.” It's when someone asks me directions and I actually know the way.

It's easy to fall in Love with NY for the obvious reasons. The beautiful Christmas season, the park in Springtime, the smell of warm nuts being sold on a cold day, the millions of things to do on a lazy Sunday... But I think it's when you can fall in love with the probable ups and downs that a typical day of pavement pounding brings that confirms NY truly is home.

It's loving its dualities. How it makes one feel both sane and completely insane all at the same time. Full of knowledge and utterly dumbfounded in one breath. Capable and incapable. Sure and unsure. In love and in hate. Grateful and disdainful. Big and yet, ridiculously small. You can be alive, and full and bright and electrified ...and somehow completely beaten to a lifeless lump merely putting one well-shod foot in front of the other... all at the same time. :)

I can thank this town for many things. For crazy experiences (something my friends and I call “NY Nights.” Where else can you find yourself in Wynton Marsalis's living room at 4am in a deep discussion about life, or sailing up and down the Hudson on a friend of a friend of a friend's sailboat...). For life lessons about love and acceptance (of myself and others) and perseverance. For friends that function like Family, and conversely for Family that now also functions like friends. And...Lord knows... above all else, maybe, NY has taught me to laugh. Whatever you do- Just. Keep. Laughing.

I don't know where I'll be ten years from now. And, to be honest, I like it that way. I like knowing that I can adapt to whatever crazy sh*t life seems to think I'm ready for next.

I do know one thing's for sure, though: Whatever it is, I can handle it. I will be okay.
I mean, hell, I'm a NYer for God's sakes.



Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Roles of Mob Wife, Sorority Slut, and Medical Detective Will be Played By:

Ok. So I didn't exactly stick to my promise of a Friday post. But I'm back! ...Now.

I did, in fact, go to the Mobster show premier party last week.

Promo Shot from Discovery ID Website

It was very bizarre to actually meet the woman I portrayed in the series. Upon entering the party I ran into a Production Assistant that told me the real life Toni Marie was there and was excited to meet me. "Oh shit." was my initial reaction. I mean, what does one say in that situation?? "Sorry your ex-husband's a douche bag, but I had a really great time playing you in your time of complete despair." ...would have been an interesting approach, but not what I went with. It was something more like, "So nice to finally meet you. I hope you're happy with my performance..." (better, I thought). She was super nice and complimentary and totally Mob-Wifey. See below:
Tonie Marie and Me

I must say that seeing myself on a GINORMOUS screen slinking around in lingerie and making an O-face was an experience unlike any other I've had before (NOW I bet you wanna see it?! Eh?). I'm pretty sure my face was as red as my Mobster-wife lipstick. The whole experience was a trip. Mostly it was so amazing to see how many people I have supporting me. The number of messages and well wishes I received blew me away. Such a nice reminder of all the people that are rooting for me. Cheesy as it sounds, I don't know that I could still be doing this without that support. It makes a world of difference knowing that there are people on your team. ...even if it means they've now seen your O face (sorry family).

And then, the very next day I shot a commercial!! This is great on a number of fronts. 1. Paycheck. 2. Booked it through a new agency. 3. I mean, I can cry on demand, I can bring fire to a screaming fight, I can yack into a toilet for "art," but I REALLY must be a good actor if I can believably play a Sorority girl in a hot-pink t-shirt and a pearl headband. Talk about a stretch!

That's me in the pink! Check out "the house" behind me! There were balloons and streamers involved...

It was a near disaster getting to set. Damn the L train! A random shut down caused my mad dash to Penn Station to catch the train to Jersey (Many positive thoughts go out to that cab driver. He was a freakin' champion.) Then an altercation with a disgruntled passenger and the conductor (many an f-bomb thrown on that train ride). But, I finally made it to set (and on time! ...though slightly sweaty and still coming down from my adrenaline rush/anxiety attack.) Luckily the shoot went WAY smoother than the commute. Thank God. Lovely people, quick and easy and though I only got my lines 5 minutes before we started shooting, I didn't fuck it up!! Holla!

In other news, I've had some big time developments in the health business I'm working on. It's pretty amazing to see something coming along that is the product of my small idea that's grown to something awesome (if I do say so myself. ...and I do ;). I have a great partner and she's just as excited and in love with it as I am. I can't wait until I can tell you about it! Soon enough... (ahhh! Suspense is killing me.)

On a more personal note, I got into this health shebang because I was sick and tired of watching people be sick and tired. I wanted to make a difference in others' lives. That being said, I'm gonna be honest, which is difficult sometimes even for me. But here goes: my own health isn't the greatest right now. After a shit load of google time, webmd, late night medical research and my family attempting to play Dr. House on my symptoms (where IS Hugh Laurie when you need him?!?) It's time I turn my focus inward and work out some kinks so that I can attack all the awesome things in my life with full force. I feel like it's been a long time coming, but recent events have made me realize that I need to get my situation under control for good. I don't think it's anything too serious, so don't go freaking out on me. But it definitely requires my full attention and dedication. Health comes first. Life is too freakin' fun to neglect it.

So between that and auditions and a new business and friends' weddings and work and random things like a 5k run where you get pelted with colored corn starch:


Color Run. AKA: Stupid things Americans do for fun.



I've been pretty darn busy.

I'll be back to update you soon. Take care out there.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Remember that time I wrote a blog post???

That's weird, because it was so damn long ago I barely remember!! While I'd like to apologize for neglecting you, poor blog, the thing is that life got so cray-cray I simply didn't have the time to devote to writing something post-able. Which, to be honest, this time around is a good thing!

I opened and closed the show Happily After Tonight. There was blood and guts and laughs to be had. ...along with hospital visits, stitches, bruises and real life bleeding. It was quite the experience! I felt great about some performances and terrible about others. That's the way it goes. The cast was incredible and super talented and I'm lucky to know them. Even if the show left me looking like this:

You should see the other guy...

So, you may wonder what I've been up to all this time. Or not, but It's my blog so I'm telling you anyway. ;) Well... I've been auditioning, and developing a new company, and giving shopping tours to middle-Americans (and some foreigners), and visiting with family, and dating, and and and…

But it's all paying off! This week is the BOMB! Tonight (Wednesday) my episode of “I Married a Mobster” premiers on the Discovery ID Channel!! Whoop Whoop! (10:30pm EST.) I will be viewing from the premier party that is being thrown at (shocker!) an Italian restaurant in the city. I will be hiding my face, trying not to vom as I experience the episode for the first time with a room full of people (I get super embarrassed and critical watching myself onscreen). But I am pumped!! Watch the promo video here

Still shot from "I Married a Mobster"

AND tomorrow, I am shooting a commercial! That's right, my friends, I have booked a commercial where I will probably say cheesy lines and act like I love things. It's gonna be awesome! And it's extra great news because I booked it through a new agency, so that's good business for the future, as well. I'm playing “sorority girl” (try not to laugh). Wardrobe asked me if I have a bow to bring to wear in my hair... I don't. Soooo, I'll let you know how that goes! ;-)

All in all things are coming along. It's been hell trying to name this new health and wellness company of mine, but I feel like we're getting closer. The name is so important! I mean, we all know how I feel about a good catchy, clever title. I sometimes think for HOURS about a blog post title, so you can imagine the agony of naming a freakin' company. So far I've avoided poking my eyes out with an organic baby carrot in frustration, but I don't yet have a name...

I'm still waiting for all these bits and pieces of my life to fit together seamlessly. Every day is an odd puzzle of jobs and activities where the only common denominator is, well, me. I'm hoping that things start making sense soon (sense and money. Not having a coronary every time I have to decide whether or not to take a cab will be nice...whenever that day comes...oh, and a post-2002 TV where the people don't look like robots will be nice, too).

That's it for the quick update. I'll try and post Friday (scratch that. I WILL post Friday) about my experience watching my Mob Wife Life on the TV screen and shooting a commercial!

Oh and ps, remember when I filmed that short where I yacked into a toilet and ugly cried for hours?? Watch it here!!! 

Much love to ya!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Keeping the Calm and Finding the Funny


The Scene: The Subway

Close my eyes.
Breathe. ...Smile. ...Breathe. ...Dance a little on the inside. Breathe. Smile.
Open my eyes.
(strangers are staring...)
Close my eyes.
Breathe. Smile. Breathe. Dance a little on the inside. Breathe. Smile.

This is how I prepare for an audition. I generally don't do vocal warmups or yoga in the waiting room. I don't do tongue twisters or make ridiculous noises or salute the sun before a scene. If it works for you, great (though I will probably judge you...gonna be honest). It's just not me.

What is me is reminding myself that life is funny. Things are not a big deal. Nothing is the end of the world (except of course the end of the world. But if you'll remember, much to the chagrin of the crazies that sold all of their belongings last year, that Armageddon situation got pushed back to a later date). So let's all just calm down. That's what I say to myself before an audition: “No big deal. Let's all just calm down.”

I'm an on again off again control freak. I CAN get overwhelmed and I CAN shut down. It's when this happens that my work tends to suffer and things don't really go my way, anyway. So, occasionally, when I do revert to my “death grip on life” tendencies, I have to take a break. Do some writing. Listen to some music. Work out. Eat well. And find the funny again. 

For a minute I was a little white knuckled, but I took a little breather

Hell, things are downright hilarious. Oh, example, you ask?? Well.... Sitting straddle on the floor in front of a panel of very serious theater people for an audition ...only to later discover a huge hole in my crotch and realize that I showed them my lady-goods: Hilarious! Going to pay for an iced coffee at a bodega and flinging a feminine product, rocket-launch-style, out of my bag with my wallet only to watch it land between me and the awkward Latino man behind the counter: Hilarious! Being on a date and my platform shoe sole detaching from the rest of my foot so that I have to be carried piggy-back back to my apartment: So Hilarious! ...(ps remind me to keep my tampons in another compartment and not to buy anymore shoes at the Super Target)

Life is just a riot! That being said, it's also pretty good these days. I'm working on a challenging show that I believe in, I've rocked a number of auditions, I've met great people, I'm developing a new nutrition business with a great partner, I'm graduating nutrition school...now if I could just get my taxes done... Ah well! Can't win 'em all!

Being in the business of acting seems to be like being in a relationship with a non-committal guy. He keeps coming around when other things are going good. You can't put too much emphasis on him, give him too much attention or weight because he gets elusive. Hard to track down. Act like you don't need him, and he's around like white on rice...

That being said, I have so many other things going on that Acting is going pretty well! I'm going to start freelancing with an agency (Woop! Step in the right direction). I'm excited to see what opportunities and relationships come from that. I was also approached by the production company behind I Married a Mobster to film a part in another pilot for Discovery ID. A "hyper emotional rape scene". The best compliment is when people want to work with you again. Really, the highest form of praise and I'm so excited to be a part of anything those peeps have going on. So I'm scheduled for a rape on Monday! ... :-/ too far?...big surprise.

I've been rehearsing the crap out of my new show, Happily After Tonight. 
Press Pic for Happily After Tonight. Red and Loup (played by Mateo Moreno)

Learning to fight has been somewhat of a challenge and I tend to get fairly hard on myself. (“Aw, f*ck me.” seems to be my expletive of choice when I screw things up. Classy, I know). I award everyone else time to learn and figure it out, but me?? I should get it. First try. ...which I know is ridiculous.

Just some bad-assery.

This is me learning to mess around with my weapons so I didn't look like a total idiot when I got actual choreography:


I had to laugh, as I was sitting on the train on my way to rehearsal one morning, I noticed the warning label on my escrima sticks (My weapon of choice in the show. That's right: Weapon. ...did I mention I pull them from my CLOAK. I have a cloak. And weapons. Awesome.):

...and they're trusting ME with these thingies??

So things are goin'! I've done a few promo shifts (one hocking Olive Oil. I was serving Gazpacho and was being hounded by the East Coast Sales Rep that had a few too many glasses of the crisp white. At one point she reached across the table and caused a Gazpacho debacle like you wouldn't believe.  On the upside, my hands and forearms are as soft as a baby's behind from a night spent soaked in the hydrating soup). 

I'm also getting new headshots taken this week (Eek!!). Can't wait to see what happens there.

So, I've got a couple (read: shit load) of pokers in the fire. One of these days one of them is gonna tap the log to make this thing blow. Right now I'm just enjoying the ride. :)

I think I'll leave you with a tune. As I've said in the past, music is a big part of my “process” (as those actory-folk like to say). Now, while I do live in Williamsburg, my musical taste is a far cry from what these hipster-freaks are used to. My music's not “cool” or “indie” or whatever other adjectives the kids are using these days. It just gives me what I need to get to where I'm going mentally. So here's a taste of what my train ride audition-prep, dance-on-the-inside is set to. It keeps me brave in the face of crazy theater people, chilled soup calamity, rape scenes, dating, and fight sequence f*ck ups. ...Lord knows that's a tall order. 


Be well, friends. And stay brave.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Unwanted Side Effects


It dawned on me as I sat in the lobby of the midtown studio space watching all the soon-to-audition performers mill about, passing by again and again to recheck their make-up, have a moment alone in the bathroom, or just pace for the sake of pacing. Every person was there with the intent to stand in front of someone (a stranger or someone very near acquaintance status) and spill themselves out on the floor. Everyone was ready to walk into a judging chamber, to open themselves up completely and utterly.

...And we do it for a living (or an attempt at one).

That's amazing. Isn't it?

It got me thinking about how often I put myself on the line. Then it got me thinking how that's affected me.

Which leads me to my feeling that I owe you an apology. I used to be a very open person (some may even argue too open...). But, I'm sure you've noticed that my writing here has become less frequent, less personal, and to be honest, less honest. The byproduct of my daily activities and past experiences have crept up on me, stealth-style. My current day to day - auditioning and performing and starting a business and generally moving through life as a single NY girl - essentially throwing myself to the wolves of this town to be judged again and again has led me to create a sort of protective shell.

Not long ago I approached the world wide eyed, like a kid sitting Criss-Cross-Applesauce at show and tell. I wanted to take everything in. Live it, and take it with me. It was a lovely existence and one that made this crazy and sometimes fairly effed up world make some semblance of sense. The good, the bad, the ridiculous was all part of the experience.

But right now? Well... I'm not sure how I got here, but I guess every now and then it's good to step back and evaluate where you've ended up. Self awareness is a beautiful thing.

Conclusion?

Pull it together, Self, because you WILL be okay if it all falls apart.

It is hard to put yourself out there for others so fervently and so frequently. But, it's getting exhausting inside these attempted shatter-proof walls. My mantra used to be, "it doesn't matter what happens, as long as I'm honest in the process." That's probably not totally true, but life certainly is much nicer out in the thick of things. I'm happier, my work is better- deeper and more true, and all the actory-bullshit aside, I'm just generally a hell of a lot more fun.

So I apologize for temporarily shutting you out.

Turns out I'm delightfully fallible.
Some may call it, "Human".

Now for the NEWS!
On the recent list, I have:
I was ready to get up...Lincoln was not.
  • Gone to the ATL to recharge and spend time with my Fam (Celebrated Dad's Bday, shopped-till-I-dropped at the Super Target, snuggled my puppy-nephew, cooked some family dinners, laid out at the pool with the Mom...I came back to NYC with half my body sunburned as hell, but smiling!)
  • Nailed a few auditions (complete with callbacks. Waiting to hear...).
  • Totally effed up another audition (Material is everything and I made a rookie mistake. Bah!..clearly still trying to forgive myself for it...).
  • Started rehearsals for the new show, "Happily After Tonight"(coming July 18-28!! More info to come).
  • Acquired a business partner for my next nutrition venture (it's gonna be amazeballs! In the meantime, learn about healthy stuff at Smart-Mouthed.com!).
  • Been on some dates (...Sort of. I shut down a bit from this portion of my life, as well. Still trying to ease back into it. ...not so effortlessly. But that's a whole other blog...)
  • Dressed some mopey teenagers on some shopping tours.
  • Been to some doctors for my chronic stomach issues (I'm now on a totally obnoxious new diet.No Garlic and Onions?? You're shitting me?!...you know I actually said that to the nutritionist. Sometimes I find myself staring down at my stomach and having a conversation that's met with grumbles and pain- “Seriously?? Seriously?? People eat Kentucky Fried animal parts, and this was freakin' Cauliflower for God's sake!!” ...People look at me funny, but mentally it helps me cope.) 
  • Rehearsed and performed a show in a bar-basement. (Great fundraiser. Great people).
  • And, I can tell you, I have NOT cleaned my apartment... or done laundry... or taxes... or a few other things that are adult responsibilities that I should really take care of...

More on the deets of life coming in the next few days. 

So, in short, it's time. Operation: Sarah Pulls Her Shit Together has commenced. Back to bravery. Back to basics. ...bear with me.


PS! I've posted my Reel on the top of the sidebar!!! Check me out!! --->

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Funny Faces and Feeling Feisty

I'm coming to understand the thought process behind the life of a recluse (which might be a little concerning). The idea of holing up in Brooklyn, devoid of human contact, only escaping to eat and pee sounds kinda nice right about now...

...which means I am clearly due for a break from the city. I love this town, but Lord knows that every now and again a few days away from the mess of this metropolis is necessary. You know, just to preserve sanity and ensure that one DOESN'T end up the crazy old person in the apartment next door that saves her nail clippings.

I find myself cursing hipsters more than usual on the good old L train. Internally threatening to pull their beards and rip their flannel. And I'm constantly amazed by the lack of personal space I'm awarded by my fellow inhabitants. The tirades that enter my thoughts on my crowded morning commute cannot be healthy.

I need a break, yo.

I spent a couple weeks trying very hard to “network” and step in a little more schmooze than I'm used to. I think it got to me. There were many nights I spent at different events, meeting people trying (without success) to talk about myself without sounding like I was talking about myself. At these things, I usually end up getting asked to babysit, rather than getting asked to be in anyone's next production. Maybe I should stop asking to see pictures of the birthdays and pony rides...

On the acting front, I've taken some workshops and done some readings. I filmed the last day of “I Married a Mobster,” in which I was grilled on the witness stand. Probed about my husband's affair and my relationship with the Mob. It was a super fun day.

I've had some good auditions, too. It's so nice going into an audition really wanting the part. Getting the chance to play with good material. To be honest, it doesn't happen enough. In a recent audition I was playing an ass kicking, sarcastic, yet beneath it all good person. It would be a killer role to work on, physically and emotionally demanding. Awesome. Here's to hoping!

Smart-Mouthed is going strong. I'm still trying to figure out where to go with it. But I'm networking more with people within the health and wellness industry and everyone seems to react positively to the idea of a Holistic Health Coach with a slight potty mouth. I can see a pretty awesome future with it, I'm just still figuring out how to get there. It will come. That's one project I have major faith in.

In developing the brand, I had some silly pictures taken involving fruits and vegetables (that was an interesting conversation with the photographer...).



They turned out pretty great! While we were at it we just bang-ed out some regular old headshotty types, too.Why not?


Sweet Sarah

Sexy Sarah

Cutesy Sarah
Fun Sarah
Sensitive Sarah
Slutty Sarah

Scolding Sarah

Sensual Sarah
Challenged Sarah

Sarah Sees Dead People



I'm not going to get any of them printed, but nothing like having more pictures of my stupid face making stupid faces!

I'm a bit cynical right now, in case you haven't noticed.

I've gotta get back to auditioning like a mad woman and I'm going to force myself out into the world. So, goals for next week: Up the Vitamin D intake, find a new monologue, get some pics and promo materials in order, start a whole foods cleanse, and not kill anyone on the morning commute.

Dreamin' big, my friends. Dreamin' big.

This attitude, too, shall pass. I think. I'm hoping Spring brings forth a rebirth in my spirit.

...Well, that and a tan. This awful, pale, sickly look is sure as hell not doing me any favors, either.

Until next time! (Which will NOT take me forever. I know it took me a hella long time to write to you. I apologize!)


Update! While working on this post, I received word that I got the part playing the kick ass character I auditioned for! I have a summer project! With great people! Here's the unbelievably nice email:

“...we'd like to offer you the role of RED RIDING HOOD in our show.  There were a lot of people who did some great Red's but yours in particular really stuck with us.  In just the audition we feel you showed the most range, and your fighting was really solid too.  I think you can have a lot of fun with the role, and she's pretty much the centerpiece of the show.  So please let us know at your earliest convenience if you'd like to accept the role!”

Whoop Whoop! How nice is that?!?! And a new project! I can't wait to beat people up and play a badass and beat people up. Did I mention I get to beat people up? So. Much. Fun.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Lace, Lingerie, Snot and Tears: My Life as a Mob Wife

There are few words that make me shudder in fear. A few are: “Ocean” (Debilitating fear. Wanna see me scream like a baby on Santa's lap? Throw me in the ocean. I once broke up with a guy for doing it. He clearly had no heart...), “Flying” or “Airplane” (Love airports, hate flying. Anyone that's sat next to me, friend OR stranger, can vouch that I don't do well in turbulence. I'm an arm grabber...) onto “Library” and even, “Post Office” (pretty much any word that evokes a big, government-y looking building. It always seems like everyone knows exactly what they're doing, and I just feel lost. ...ps. lets be honest, the NY public library is scary as shit).

But despite these bizarre phobias, the actress in me is pretty fearless. I've scaled balconies, swam in gross swamp-like pools, had screaming breakdowns, stood too close to a moving train, thrown up into a toilet... all for the good of the performance. But want to turn this usually fairly fearless Actress into a knees-shaking, scared little mess? Mention the words I heard over the phone for the wardrobe consultation prepping for the “I Married a Mobster” shoot.

Those terrifying words are: Make. Sure. To. Bring. Your. Sexiest. Lingerie.

Crap.

Two things.
  1. Sorry boys. Don't have too much sexy lingerie. I think it's awkward. And,
  2. Oh. Shit. I have to wear sexy lingerie...on camera...in front of a crew...
Another thing you may not know: I'm pretty prudish when it comes to my body. I'm not one of the weird chicks at the gym that blow-dries her hair all nakie, and I have never just walked around my apartment in the buff just for the hell of it. Not my jam. Probably comes from my body issues and years of staring in the mirror as a dancer (but that's for another post ;).

So, after a day of shooting intense emotional breakdowns, throwing things, screaming, and crying in what the Director likes to call the “haggard look” (For some reason recently I seem to get parts that require little to no primping. The worse I look the better. And I'm no beauty here either! I'm all snot and tears. And while “Haggard” was the Director's choice description, it's a look I've come to call: “Pleasantly Busted.”)... anyhow, nearing the end of the day, I heard the dreaded words, “Okay, let's change into the sexy lingerie.”

He said it so matter of fact. Like it was the same as saying, “plaid flannel pajamas.”

I went upstairs and pulled my options from my over sized suitcase. We decided on a onesie/romper situation with lace and whatnot. It was really the best of the options for my purposes. I slipped into it and willed myself to stand up straight and forget about my pasty NYer-in-hibernation-for-the-Winter legs (just thank God I remembered to shave...)

The scene was hilarious: “Sexy time with my husband after he gets out of prison.” I carried a candle into the room, saying things such as, “You miss me?” all sexy and seductive-like. Ha! Hilarious! (I may have had to make some suggestive faces in a certain close-up... Eek! Sorry family... :-/ )

But, aside from my personal hangups, shooting has been so great! We've done 4 days, and I think we've got one more coming up. My “husband” and I keep getting awesome feedback from the Director and he seems really happy with the performances. The crew is so lovely, too. And aside from being slightly nervous around the uber-legit mob extras, it's been super easy and fun! Just the project I needed right now! ...now to get more of these types of jobs...

Playing Toni Marie


As for personal business, I was able to share some awesome moments with some of my Promo girls. My friend, Aimee, was married last weekend and I was a Bridesmaid in her wedding. We've been through so much together (as you've read), and to share such an amazing occasion with her and the girls was really incredible.



Things with nutrition are going going going! If you haven't checked out the new blog, Smart-Mouthed, I really hope you do. I've decided on the tag line, “A health and wellness blog, sassy sauce on the side.” It's a new project and a lot of work, but something that I'm so passionate about.

Still not sure what to do with these little blogs, but people keep reading...so I keep writing.

And, thanks again, for reading, btw. It really means a lot. And if you like what you see, please pass it along. I'm forever grateful.

I've got a photo shoot scheduled for this week, along with some other odds and ends (doc appointment to deal with some health issues of late :-/). Luckily, I should be fully clothed for all planned events.

...though, with this life, I never really know what the hell is coming. Lingerie and cheesy candlelight included.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Signs from God...and The Williamsburg Bridge

I followed the two men as they pushed through the heavy doors. I jumped as the blinding light hit me. It consumed me like I was having a "come to Jesus" moment. In reality it was so very far from that. (Well, hopefully. I mean, it was an audition. And, if I have to audition to get into Heaven, I'm gonna be pissed). Anyhow, upon entering, I saw the windows wrapped around the office on three sides. “So... I guess your office doesn't suck.” I said hoping the joke would fall on appreciative ears. The two laughed and I put my numerous bags and things down as I took in the view from the way-west-side office space. Despite the cloudy and all around shitty day outside, the sprawling city was something to see. It reminded me how small I really am.
We walked into another, empty space and he set up a couple of chairs. “So....How loud can I be?” I asked. He went to close the doors behind us. “As loud as you want, I guess.” “Perfect.”

I took a moment to read the words I had scribbled down in my notebook on the subway before:

Agony
Fear
Helpless
Broken
Done
Over
Need
Why
Lost
Stabbed
Baby
Help
Why
Broken

A hodgepodge list of trigger words meant to put my brain in the right space for the hyper emotional scene I was preparing to improv (how's that for being “actor-y”). I set down the notebook, and jumped in...Here goes nuthin.

I walked into the scene and laid into the guy playing my husband like I just found out he had a bastard baby with another woman. "WHO IS SHE?!" I screamed. I paced. I pounded on my forehead in frustration (and developed a lingering headache from it, to be honest. Oh, the things we do for a job...I mean, art... ;) The poor guy playing opposite me wasn't even an actor but the Production Coordinator who, I think, based on the terrified look on his face, realized he was in over his head as soon as I started screaming at him like a crazy let loose from the asylum.

I finished. Wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes. And said, “Sorry, dude.” We had a laugh and the Producer said, “now switch gears...” I shook off the emotional spew that had just gone down and jumped into the next scenario he gave us to improv. This time being a flirty, young, hot thing with a slight sass.

...Nailed it. Duh. ;)

He stopped us with a “Thank You!” We chatted some and I left the audition feeling pretty good.

Fast Forward. A few days.

I found myself back on the way-west-side waiting on the ready to re-enact the scene. This time with another actor. I waited. And I waited. I waited some more...

Finally the Producer came out, “So...good news and bad news. Bad news is that I have no idea where this other actor is. But the good news is that you're cast in the role. Welcome to 'I Married a Mobster'!” After sitting down in the office to discuss details, he said to me “You know, I gotta tell you. We saw A LOT of girls for this role... and there was just no contest. You blew them out of the water.” ...Ummm...holy shit. Amazing. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now. Thank you.” I replied in a probably too dramatic, but incredibly heartfelt tone.

I tell you this because, as you know, the past few weeks I've been sort of holding my breath wondering about myself and my career because of the other project I found myself stuck in (Read about that in “Sh*t Gets Real”). The timing for his words couldn't have been more appreciated. I breathed a sigh of extreme relief more than anything.

I spent the next hour or so watching footage of the woman I will be portraying on the Investigation Discovery channel series that's to air in June. She's emotional, girly and a MOB WIFE. Holla! It's one of those super dramatic re-enactment shows about Mob families. This is going to be a fun one! (spoiler alert: I get to beat a man senseless with a phone! Awesome.)

I left the office that day and called my parents back in GA.
“I got the Mobster part!”
“You got it!” my mom repeated in that voice that lets me know she's both telling me she's super excited but also letting my Dad, who must be sitting close by, in on the news (It's a tactic I've become familiar with over my years far away from home).
“Of course she got it!” I heard my Dad yell from the background. (Very Matter-of-fact but said very clearly through a smile).

I couldn't help it...the emotions were fresh and I was kind of a hot mess to begin with...I started crying right there in front of the hot-dog vender on the corner of 10th ave. He smiled at me. ...sweet guy.

Now, I'm not delusional, people. I know it's not an Emmy winning part, or a Spielberg movie, but the thing is that for the previous couple weeks my mantra had become, “I need something. I just need something good.”

And here it was. A sign, a boost, a reassurance. I was at the end of my rope, and getting the part coupled with the amazingly kind words from the Producer (and also the kind words from a friend that came to see the show I was doing the night before this went down) were so needed in my life at the time. Forward movement is all a girl can ask for. A paid acting job, on national television, with awesome people. Thank you, God.

And so, after putting an energy out into the Universe, it responded. I'm on hold to shoot next week. :)

In the meantime I'm working on things over at Smart-Mouthed.com and giving LOTS of shopping tours to teenagers. 'Tis the season.

I'll leave you with a pic I shared on the other blog, but clearly it applies here, too. It was just too weird that I saw this on my run THIS week on the Williamsburg Bridge. I literally tripped over my own feet as I ran over the words and turned around to make sure I read correctly. I did:



Don't mind if I do. :)

Monday, March 5, 2012

This Sh*t's About to Get Real...

As you all know, I'm not opposed to a good four letter word. I try not to use them superfluously or gratuitously. But what can say about this post... for you who offend easily... eye-muffs...

The feeling I have is like there's a rock on my chest and I'm lying down in a slow moving river. I can see the world happening through the murky water above, life happening, but I can't get there. It's a stagnant, stuck, just generally all around shitty feeling.

...and I'm pissed. I'm sick and tired of doing bullshit, I'm sick and tired of being stuck at a certain level. As actors we tend to feel helpless. We feel at the whim of other industry forces and it is easy to feel immobile. Unable to be in control of our own fate. I'm sick of it. I end up stuck in crappy situations or forced to wait around for others to follow through on their word. And a lot of it is because I'm a nice person. I'm loyal and trustworthy...and all those other Libra qualities that seem really great until they eff you in the end.

It's crap. I'm a professional, serious person (...can't you tell? ;). I want work that is challenging and hearty. I want people in my life that push me and work to pull things out of me that even I didn't see coming. I deserve that. We all do.

See, I let recent events get to my head and disrupt my heart. I let people and situations move me to a place of negative thoughts and insecurity. BUT NO MORE.

After a few very uplifting few days, filled with kind words and compliments from people whose opinions I value and hold in very high regard, I'm coming out of this bullshit on top, my friends. It's like words from a conversation I had recently, “what if this terrible thing is the best thing that could have happened?” And I think it just may have been.

Why? Because sometimes it's good to get angry ...and then get active.

We are valuable. We should be valued. By ourselves and others. Too often we are willing to work our faces off for free, to be treated like shit and like unintelligent people (this is something I deal with constantly as a woman. DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PENIS. Thank you. Kisses!) It's time to get empowered and get real, people.

I have a tendency to downplay everything. I value humility. But let's face the facts: That's great to an extent. It's time to get serious. So here I am. Putting this out into the world: I'm good. I'm good at what I do and I love to do it. I refuse to continue to put myself in places that are detrimental to me and my work. I have to start treating myself and my talent with the respect that it deserves.

Otherwise, why will anyone else?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bullet Point Blank Brain

Hi blog.

I haven't been neglecting you. I promise. Just the opposite, really. I've been writing and rewriting, thinking and rethinking.

But last night, while lying in bed, I decided to say screw it. To go back to what usually causes my hands to fly on the keyboard and sparks my creativity. And that, my friends, is honesty.

So, to be honest, I've been feeling pressure (probably from myself) to write something “good” and that in turn, has left me writing crap. Just big ole loads of poopy. So instead of posting it for you all to suffer through, I've put off posting anything.

(Thank me later.)

But fear not! Here I am! With the truth! The problem here is that life keeps freakin' happening! (it tends to do that) So much goes on in a day, a week, a moment, that I sit down to tell you all about the ridiculousness and hilarity of it all and I can't sift through the events in my head. There's been a lot on my mind - People and shows and friends and money and food and diets and …. just stuff. It's hard to calm the beast long enough to listen quietly to the words roaming around up in my brain-hole.

So there it is. That's the truth.

...And while I'm at it – Dad, it was me that wrote my name all over the house in pen when I was little. ...I don't remember why I did it, but I do remember denying it. ...and Steven, Brother, I'm sorry for framing you. ...but (let's keep with the honesty) you probably deserved it. ;)

Anyhow, back to business. Life. Here we are...in bullet points:

-I took a workshop at The Network for Pilot Season. We were split up into groups of 6 and had an hour with a reputable Casting Director from each of the major networks. It was pretty great because we actually got to talk and work scenes with the CD's, get feedback, and take direction. I got great comments, positive reactions from everyone! No idea what could come from it, but can't hurt to have my work seen and my headshot in more hands. What else can ya do??

-I was a reader at the recent auditions for PlayClub (meaning I read scenes with actors that came in wanting to join the club). This experience is SO INTERESTING. Any time I get self conscious or think I effed up an audition...I need to remember that I am NOT the weirdest/worst/most awkward thing that came in that day. No way. Take Note: People are nuts. Actors are certifiably so.

-Filmed a music video for "Amadou and Mariam" with "TV on the Radio". Danced all morning with some awesome girls and then made it back to set that night (after running uptown to rehearsal) just in time to be rhinestoned and leotarded up. I thought I was just going to be part of the shiny scenery and was shocked to find out that I was the “talent on set” that they were referring to during what ended up being a solo shot. Of me...? I was morphing into a glittery nymph in drag queen platforms and so much glitter eye makeup that my frame of vision was constantly kaleidoscopic. You never know what's gonna end up on the cutting room floor, but I had a blast filming that day. Great people, great production.

-The Daily DO is going strong! I had my last scheduled meeting with my lovely Health Coach and one with Michael (consultant boy-wonder). I've kept both of them in the loop and I was interested to get some feedback. My Health Coach had such lovely, genuine praise. To be honest, it was just so good to have something to show for myself at our last session. I've been on a path all my own, not typical for graduates of my school, and I think I worried her a bit (not to mention myself) with my confusing direction. Michael had only positive things to say, too! He asked how much money I had made (a follow up to this episode: Sarah Freaks the Eff Out if you'll remember). And while I have made some income, it's nothing like what I intend to make in the future. So I was self conscious expressing the number. But, to my surprise, after telling him he got so excited and even used the word, "amazing." I was a bit dumbfounded. But I sat back in my Starbucks chair (Cool-ly this time. Not a bead of sweat to be seen!) and thought, "Yeah. I guess it is kinda amazing." We brainstormed a ton and chatted about life. Afterwards, I settled into my seat on the E train, and felt a sudden sense of accomplishment.

-OPERATION ELIMINATION DIET OF AWESOMENESS (and you thought I was crazy before...)
See, I have a friend with Crohn's Disease that had another flare up and after doing some research, I thought she should figure out what foods her body is sensitive to. And what a perfect time for me to do the same! So get this - we are eliminating: Gluten (wheat, spelt, barley etc..), Eggs, Dairy, Nightshade Veggies, Citrus, Highly Processed Foods, Alcohol, Coffee, Yeast, Sugar and Refined Carbs, Corn, Peanuts, Meat, and Soy for 7+ days (it's essentially the UltraSimple Diet from Dr. Mark Hyman-FYI). I'm on day 5 and going strong! I'm excited to experience the change in my body and prove to myself what I already know - Food is medicine.
Lunch!
There's something to be said about a good detox every now and again. Whether it's your life, your body, or your cell phone's contact list (who is "Baseball hat Ben" from "the Bar"??).

-My show, “Jose Antigo” opens at the American Theater of Actors ...TOMORROW! Holy shit. (Breathe. Breathe.) It's been...interesting. A test. Of patience. Of love. Of talent. Of patience. ...oh did I say that already? Oops. I'm nervous. I have my reasons. ...Annnnd that's all I'm going to say about that. This is me playing my character Robin:

Sassy and slutty and brash. She is a fun one!

So that's it for now.

This wasn't the most creative post. It didn't wrap up in a nice little pretty package. But, hell, life doesn't either. It's messy and complicated and sometimes I need to think in bullet points to keep it all straight.

And that's the truth.

Bullet Point Blank.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Schizophrenia: The New Black

“Are you a student?”
“Uh...no. Well...yes, sort of...but not really...”
“So that's work stuff you're working on?”
“Well, no. Yes. But, no. I mean...kind of.”
“okaaay?”
“I have a blog. Right now I'm writing ideas for my blog. So it's kind of like work...but not really.”
“Blog? What's your blog about?”
“Me. Uh..my life...In New York...As an actor.”
“Oh, cool! So you're a student studying acting?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
*deep breath* “See, I'm getting certified in Holistic Nutrition. So it's school, but it's not like I go to college or anything. I did that already. Usually when people ask if you're in school they mean like, NYU or something...but I'm not in school like that...so…see...what I mean...”
“Umm...No...???”
“Well, I'm getting certified in nutrition. To be a Health Coach. So that's school, but I already went to college, see...And I'm an actor...so right now I'm learning lines which is work, but I'm also working on my blog which is kind of work, but not really...”
“Right....”

It was this moment that I looked down at the mess that lay before me at the communal Whole Foods table. Sprawled across the space, like I owned the place, was two highlighted scripts, a health magazine, a notebook, random pages of scribble, an Iphone, an Ipod touch, headphones, a bottle of lemon water, and a container of kale and quinoa salad-my dinner.

Holy. Hot. Messiness.

I started cracking up and cut the awkward in the air with the acknowledgment that there was awkward in the air, “This is awkward...hahaha” (it's a tactic that usually works in my head way better than it does in practice). I'm pretty sure the man thought I was crazy (though turns out he has a thing for crazy chicks, cuz he asked for my number), but it was at this moment that I realized that my life is just an undiagnosed and (sometimes) socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

I jumped from role to role this week/weekend trying to hold onto my sanity with white knuckles.

Let's start with the role of Health Coach:
DO news! The first DO is being done! The program has commenced (though it's not too late to sign up http://eepurl.com/imW5g :). I've gotten great feedback! It's so exciting!

People are doing the DO all over the country! New York, Georgia, Maryland, DC!! I'm a little east coast heavy, so keep up the viral spread. Tweet the DO, Facebook the DO, email the DO, drop the DO in conversation (you know what I mean...). I so appreciate any help you can offer!

Now for the role of Actress:
I had that weird show in BK. Lot's of artsy Brooklyn folk drinking beer and twirling their mustaches (facial hair is on the Hipster must-have list this season). It was probably the worst conditions to do theater I've ever experienced. We had rehearsed it as a subtly acted piece with intimate moments. And the performance ended up being in the middle of a crowd of a few hundred people in an open warehouse space. We had to scream at each other to be heard, at the same time trying not to over-act. The work sort of seemed to lose the relevance it had in rehearsals. Learn and move on. I did meet some awesome people!

At tech rehearsal. That's me in the scarf looking pissed.
Now picture this space with a mass of hipsters surrounding us.

I also began rehearsals for the upcoming show, “Jose Antigo”. We're still getting re-writes so it's hard to chomp down on the script with real fervor just yet. I do love my character, though. She's a sad product of her environment. Sassy, loud mouthed, back talking waitress with a chip on her shoulder. Somehow I find her endearing. ;)

I also shot a short film, “Especially by Fire” with some lovely people. In it I play a binging alcoholic. I spent three nights bawling my eyes out, chugging watered down coke, with my head in a toilet (that I made them bleach first. DIVA moment! ;). Moaning, gagging, yelling, deep breathing. Talk about draining! 

Screenshot from "Especially by Fire"
I am no lady in this one, my friends. Boogers, tears, matted hair. I'm pretty sure I got some good ugly-cries in there. You know, the kind with the scrunched face and the snot dribbling down the upper lip...won't be taking home Miss Photogenic for this one, folks.

Another screenshot from "Especially by Fire"
I drank all that Jameson during the shoot. ...I'm method. ;)

(Now, permit me to get all actory for a quick sec: I've had a few non-actor people (read normal) after I've explained why I'm so tired from this weekend, say to me, “That's cool, but I mean, It's not real. You're pretending.” And to that, I say this- The idea is that you go to a place in your head that elicits the response of the character. So essentially the emotions are real. The tears are real. The energy is real. If it's not real, you're a liar not an actor. And audiences can spot a liar from a mile away. See? ...and now to dismount my actor-high-horse of obnoxiousness...:)

I also found time Sunday night to get together with two great girlfriends to do our annual New Year's bucket list. On my personal list is getting organized-once and for all. You may not know this about me, but my organizational skills are sub-par. Beyond. Whiff-the-ball, roll-through-the-rough-and-land-in-a-sand-trap twice sub-par. (which, I realize would actually mean above par in golf...but whatever. You get the joke.) ...anyhow can't wait for that to start!

More rehearsals and more insanity in the coming days. A secret: I love it. Insanity looks good on me, it seems. And you better believe I'm gonna work that schizophrenia.

...Work it like I did that sexy robe in those pictures up there. ^
Eat your heart out.