Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bullet Point Blank Brain

Hi blog.

I haven't been neglecting you. I promise. Just the opposite, really. I've been writing and rewriting, thinking and rethinking.

But last night, while lying in bed, I decided to say screw it. To go back to what usually causes my hands to fly on the keyboard and sparks my creativity. And that, my friends, is honesty.

So, to be honest, I've been feeling pressure (probably from myself) to write something “good” and that in turn, has left me writing crap. Just big ole loads of poopy. So instead of posting it for you all to suffer through, I've put off posting anything.

(Thank me later.)

But fear not! Here I am! With the truth! The problem here is that life keeps freakin' happening! (it tends to do that) So much goes on in a day, a week, a moment, that I sit down to tell you all about the ridiculousness and hilarity of it all and I can't sift through the events in my head. There's been a lot on my mind - People and shows and friends and money and food and diets and …. just stuff. It's hard to calm the beast long enough to listen quietly to the words roaming around up in my brain-hole.

So there it is. That's the truth.

...And while I'm at it – Dad, it was me that wrote my name all over the house in pen when I was little. ...I don't remember why I did it, but I do remember denying it. ...and Steven, Brother, I'm sorry for framing you. ...but (let's keep with the honesty) you probably deserved it. ;)

Anyhow, back to business. Life. Here we bullet points:

-I took a workshop at The Network for Pilot Season. We were split up into groups of 6 and had an hour with a reputable Casting Director from each of the major networks. It was pretty great because we actually got to talk and work scenes with the CD's, get feedback, and take direction. I got great comments, positive reactions from everyone! No idea what could come from it, but can't hurt to have my work seen and my headshot in more hands. What else can ya do??

-I was a reader at the recent auditions for PlayClub (meaning I read scenes with actors that came in wanting to join the club). This experience is SO INTERESTING. Any time I get self conscious or think I effed up an audition...I need to remember that I am NOT the weirdest/worst/most awkward thing that came in that day. No way. Take Note: People are nuts. Actors are certifiably so.

-Filmed a music video for "Amadou and Mariam" with "TV on the Radio". Danced all morning with some awesome girls and then made it back to set that night (after running uptown to rehearsal) just in time to be rhinestoned and leotarded up. I thought I was just going to be part of the shiny scenery and was shocked to find out that I was the “talent on set” that they were referring to during what ended up being a solo shot. Of me...? I was morphing into a glittery nymph in drag queen platforms and so much glitter eye makeup that my frame of vision was constantly kaleidoscopic. You never know what's gonna end up on the cutting room floor, but I had a blast filming that day. Great people, great production.

-The Daily DO is going strong! I had my last scheduled meeting with my lovely Health Coach and one with Michael (consultant boy-wonder). I've kept both of them in the loop and I was interested to get some feedback. My Health Coach had such lovely, genuine praise. To be honest, it was just so good to have something to show for myself at our last session. I've been on a path all my own, not typical for graduates of my school, and I think I worried her a bit (not to mention myself) with my confusing direction. Michael had only positive things to say, too! He asked how much money I had made (a follow up to this episode: Sarah Freaks the Eff Out if you'll remember). And while I have made some income, it's nothing like what I intend to make in the future. So I was self conscious expressing the number. But, to my surprise, after telling him he got so excited and even used the word, "amazing." I was a bit dumbfounded. But I sat back in my Starbucks chair (Cool-ly this time. Not a bead of sweat to be seen!) and thought, "Yeah. I guess it is kinda amazing." We brainstormed a ton and chatted about life. Afterwards, I settled into my seat on the E train, and felt a sudden sense of accomplishment.

-OPERATION ELIMINATION DIET OF AWESOMENESS (and you thought I was crazy before...)
See, I have a friend with Crohn's Disease that had another flare up and after doing some research, I thought she should figure out what foods her body is sensitive to. And what a perfect time for me to do the same! So get this - we are eliminating: Gluten (wheat, spelt, barley etc..), Eggs, Dairy, Nightshade Veggies, Citrus, Highly Processed Foods, Alcohol, Coffee, Yeast, Sugar and Refined Carbs, Corn, Peanuts, Meat, and Soy for 7+ days (it's essentially the UltraSimple Diet from Dr. Mark Hyman-FYI). I'm on day 5 and going strong! I'm excited to experience the change in my body and prove to myself what I already know - Food is medicine.
There's something to be said about a good detox every now and again. Whether it's your life, your body, or your cell phone's contact list (who is "Baseball hat Ben" from "the Bar"??).

-My show, “Jose Antigo” opens at the American Theater of Actors ...TOMORROW! Holy shit. (Breathe. Breathe.) It's been...interesting. A test. Of patience. Of love. Of talent. Of patience. ...oh did I say that already? Oops. I'm nervous. I have my reasons. ...Annnnd that's all I'm going to say about that. This is me playing my character Robin:

Sassy and slutty and brash. She is a fun one!

So that's it for now.

This wasn't the most creative post. It didn't wrap up in a nice little pretty package. But, hell, life doesn't either. It's messy and complicated and sometimes I need to think in bullet points to keep it all straight.

And that's the truth.

Bullet Point Blank.


  1. You know sometimes that's all we need. Just a nice re-cap of where we are, where we are going. That kinda thing. It's something I try to do for myself on a monthly basis but of course fail miserably at it. Just a list of all the things that happened that month career wise...and I guess life wise too...It helps you see your progress better.

    I don't think you should ever apologize for anything you put out here on this blog or just out in the world. It's still you and we all love reading about it. Doesn't matter the form, it's the content. (and writer)

    1. Thanks, friend. Sometimes a good life summary is nice for the sanity. It reminds me of why we keep doing what we do. And sometimes I need to remember how I got here. ...if ya know what I mean ;)

  2. Truth be told, this post is rich with detail and imagination-spurring scenarios. Making a music video with a band that's conversant with, and influenced by, the music of the Bad Brains, Siousxie and the Banshees AND Earth Wind and Fire? Dude -- that's cool. Doing a solo in a video for said band? Very cool. And platform shoes? Little word-cues like that have associative power, which for me conjures images of a funky, honky-tonk (and dangerous) 1970s NYC that I glimpsed through child-eyes. And any experience that involves one's frame of vision being constantly kaleidoscopic might make a good post unto itself.

    That sh*t better not end up on the cutting room floor (I hope TV On The Radio is reading now).

    In addition to being an actor, dancer and all-around performer you've also become a businesswoman using her newfound education to help people. Amidst all this you still take the time to put up a post that vividly paints a picture (a very busy and colorful picture) of some of what's happening in your life now. This post even has a time-travel flashback segment -- a glimpse of Sarah's mysterious, and perhaps rather mischievous, with noirish hints of a frame-up and heartwarming confession to Dad.

    And there's still more. Readings, shows, two photos (analogous in their mutual appeal) -- there's nothing lacking here. You are your own harshest critic sometimes. I hope your writing -- here or elsewhere -- will be fun and cathartic for you, and never a chore or a burden. Thanks, as always, for writing.

  3. Oops, word omitted from last comment. Last sentence of penultimate paragraph above should read "mysterious, and perhaps rather mischievous past". As you were...