I followed the two men as they pushed through the heavy doors. I jumped as the blinding light hit me. It consumed me like I was having a "come to Jesus" moment. In reality it was so very far from that. (Well, hopefully. I mean, it was an audition. And, if I have to audition to get into Heaven, I'm gonna be pissed). Anyhow, upon entering, I saw the windows wrapped around the office on three sides. “So... I guess your office doesn't suck.” I said hoping the joke would fall on appreciative ears. The two laughed and I put my numerous bags and things down as I took in the view from the way-west-side office space. Despite the cloudy and all around shitty day outside, the sprawling city was something to see. It reminded me how small I really am.
We walked into another, empty space and he set up a couple of chairs. “So....How loud can I be?” I asked. He went to close the doors behind us. “As loud as you want, I guess.” “Perfect.”
I took a moment to read the words I had scribbled down in my notebook on the subway before:
A hodgepodge list of trigger words meant to put my brain in the right space for the hyper emotional scene I was preparing to improv (how's that for being “actor-y”). I set down the notebook, and jumped in...Here goes nuthin.
I walked into the scene and laid into the guy playing my husband like I just found out he had a bastard baby with another woman. "WHO IS SHE?!" I screamed. I paced. I pounded on my forehead in frustration (and developed a lingering headache from it, to be honest. Oh, the things we do for a job...I mean, art... ;) The poor guy playing opposite me wasn't even an actor but the Production Coordinator who, I think, based on the terrified look on his face, realized he was in over his head as soon as I started screaming at him like a crazy let loose from the asylum.
I finished. Wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes. And said, “Sorry, dude.” We had a laugh and the Producer said, “now switch gears...” I shook off the emotional spew that had just gone down and jumped into the next scenario he gave us to improv. This time being a flirty, young, hot thing with a slight sass.
...Nailed it. Duh. ;)
He stopped us with a “Thank You!” We chatted some and I left the audition feeling pretty good.
Fast Forward. A few days.
I found myself back on the way-west-side waiting on the ready to re-enact the scene. This time with another actor. I waited. And I waited. I waited some more...
Finally the Producer came out, “So...good news and bad news. Bad news is that I have no idea where this other actor is. But the good news is that you're cast in the role. Welcome to 'I Married a Mobster'!” After sitting down in the office to discuss details, he said to me “You know, I gotta tell you. We saw A LOT of girls for this role... and there was just no contest. You blew them out of the water.” ...Ummm...holy shit. Amazing. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now. Thank you.” I replied in a probably too dramatic, but incredibly heartfelt tone.
I tell you this because, as you know, the past few weeks I've been sort of holding my breath wondering about myself and my career because of the other project I found myself stuck in (Read about that in “Sh*t Gets Real”). The timing for his words couldn't have been more appreciated. I breathed a sigh of extreme relief more than anything.
I spent the next hour or so watching footage of the woman I will be portraying on the Investigation Discovery channel series that's to air in June. She's emotional, girly and a MOB WIFE. Holla! It's one of those super dramatic re-enactment shows about Mob families. This is going to be a fun one! (spoiler alert: I get to beat a man senseless with a phone! Awesome.)
I left the office that day and called my parents back in GA.
“I got the Mobster part!”
“You got it!” my mom repeated in that voice that lets me know she's both telling me she's super excited but also letting my Dad, who must be sitting close by, in on the news (It's a tactic I've become familiar with over my years far away from home).
“Of course she got it!” I heard my Dad yell from the background. (Very Matter-of-fact but said very clearly through a smile).
I couldn't help it...the emotions were fresh and I was kind of a hot mess to begin with...I started crying right there in front of the hot-dog vender on the corner of 10th ave. He smiled at me. ...sweet guy.
Now, I'm not delusional, people. I know it's not an Emmy winning part, or a Spielberg movie, but the thing is that for the previous couple weeks my mantra had become, “I need something. I just need something good.”
And here it was. A sign, a boost, a reassurance. I was at the end of my rope, and getting the part coupled with the amazingly kind words from the Producer (and also the kind words from a friend that came to see the show I was doing the night before this went down) were so needed in my life at the time. Forward movement is all a girl can ask for. A paid acting job, on national television, with awesome people. Thank you, God.
And so, after putting an energy out into the Universe, it responded. I'm on hold to shoot next week. :)
In the meantime I'm working on things over at Smart-Mouthed.com and giving LOTS of shopping tours to teenagers. 'Tis the season.
I'll leave you with a pic I shared on the other blog, but clearly it applies here, too. It was just too weird that I saw this on my run THIS week on the Williamsburg Bridge. I literally tripped over my own feet as I ran over the words and turned around to make sure I read correctly. I did:
Don't mind if I do. :)