Keeping the Calm and Finding the Funny

The Scene: The Subway

Close my eyes.

Breathe. ...Smile. ...Breathe. ...Dance a little on the inside. Breathe. Smile.

Open my eyes.

(strangers are staring...)

Close my eyes.

Breathe. Smile. Breathe. Dance a little on the inside. Breathe. Smile.

This is how I prepare for an audition. I generally don't do vocal warmups or yoga in the waiting room. I don't do tongue twisters or make ridiculous noises or salute the sun before a scene. If it works for you, great (though I will probably judge you...gonna be honest). It's just not me.

What is me is reminding myself that life is funny. Things are not a big deal. Nothing is the end of the world (except of course the end of the world. But if you'll remember, much to the chagrin of the crazies that sold all of their belongings last year, that Armageddon situation got pushed back to a later date). So let's all just calm down. That's what I say to myself before an audition: “No big deal. Let's all just calm down.”

I'm an on again off again control freak. I CAN get overwhelmed and I CAN shut down. It's when this happens that my work tends to suffer and things don't really go my way, anyway. So, occasionally, when I do revert to my “death grip on life” tendencies, I have to take a break. Do some writing. Listen to some music. Work out. Eat well. And find the funny again. 

For a minute I was a little white knuckled, but I took a little breather

Hell, things are downright hilarious. Oh, example, you ask?? Well.... Sitting straddle on the floor in front of a panel of very serious theater people for an audition ...only to later discover a huge hole in my crotch and realize that I showed them my lady-goods: Hilarious! Going to pay for an iced coffee at a bodega and flinging a feminine product, rocket-launch-style, out of my bag with my wallet only to watch it land between me and the awkward Latino man behind the counter: Hilarious! Being on a date and my platform shoe sole detaching from the rest of my foot so that I have to be carried piggy-back back to my apartment: So Hilarious! ...(ps remind me to keep my tampons in another compartment and not to buy anymore shoes at the Super Target)

Life is just a riot! That being said, it's also pretty good these days. I'm working on a challenging show that I believe in, I've rocked a number of auditions, I've met great people, I'm developing a new nutrition business with a great partner, I'm graduating nutrition school...now if I could just get my taxes done... Ah well! Can't win 'em all!

Being in the business of acting seems to be like being in a relationship with a non-committal guy. He keeps coming around when other things are going good. You can't put too much emphasis on him, give him too much attention or weight because he gets elusive. Hard to track down. Act like you don't need him, and he's around like white on rice...

That being said, I have so many other things going on that Acting is going pretty well! I'm going to start freelancing with an agency (Woop! Step in the right direction). I'm excited to see what opportunities and relationships come from that. I was also approached by the production company behind I Married a Mobster to film a part in another pilot for Discovery ID. A "hyper emotional rape scene". The best compliment is when people want to work with you again. Really, the highest form of praise and I'm so excited to be a part of anything those peeps have going on. So I'm scheduled for a rape on Monday! ... :-/ too far?...big surprise.

I've been rehearsing the crap out of my new show, Happily After Tonight. 

Press Pic for Happily After Tonight. Red and Loup (played by Mateo Moreno)

Learning to fight has been somewhat of a challenge and I tend to get fairly hard on myself. (“Aw, f*ck me.” seems to be my expletive of choice when I screw things up. Classy, I know). I award everyone else time to learn and figure it out, but me?? I should get it. First try. ...which I know is ridiculous.

Just some bad-assery.

This is me learning to mess around with my weapons so I didn't look like a total idiot when I got actual choreography:

I had to laugh, as I was sitting on the train on my way to rehearsal one morning, I noticed the warning label on my escrima sticks (My weapon of choice in the show. That's right: Weapon. ...did I mention I pull them from my CLOAK. I have a cloak. And weapons. Awesome.):

...and they're trusting ME with these thingies??

So things are goin'! I've done a few promo shifts (one hocking Olive Oil. I was serving Gazpacho and was being hounded by the East Coast Sales Rep that had a few too many glasses of the crisp white. At one point she reached across the table and caused a Gazpacho debacle like you wouldn't believe.  On the upside, my hands and forearms are as soft as a baby's behind from a night spent soaked in the hydrating soup). 

I'm also getting new headshots taken this week (Eek!!). Can't wait to see what happens there.

So, I've got a couple (read: shit load) of pokers in the fire. One of these days one of them is gonna tap the log to make this thing blow. Right now I'm just enjoying the ride. :)

I think I'll leave you with a tune. As I've said in the past, music is a big part of my “process” (as those actory-folk like to say). Now, while I do live in Williamsburg, my musical taste is a far cry from what these hipster-freaks are used to. My music's not “cool” or “indie” or whatever other adjectives the kids are using these days. It just gives me what I need to get to where I'm going mentally. So here's a taste of what my train ride audition-prep, dance-on-the-inside is set to. It keeps me brave in the face of crazy theater people, chilled soup calamity, rape scenes, dating, and fight sequence f*ck ups. ...Lord knows that's a tall order. 

Be well, friends. And stay brave.