Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Ugh. Silence The Sniveling. Back to Business!

Alright, alright. Enough with the sappy stuff. Enough with the girly tears and the ridiculous baby exaltation and the mushy insides. Back to work, Sarah. Pull your shit together.

I mean, hell. I wouldn't even know what to do with a baby, for cryin' out loud (pun intended). I'm guessing innate instinct would take over if one were in front of me, but from here - no baby in sight...I got nothin'.

So enough already with that adorable, sweet little nugget of a Jacobs back in GA. Enough!

Wait, one more pic.
Like a person... only smaller!
Ok. Now! Enough!

Back to business:

So, here's the jam: I've been auditioning my face off. I did a round at One on One (a studio where you do audition sessions for various industry peeps) and focused on Casting Directors and a couple of Agents.

I did really well! I usually do pretty well. And I don't think I see my auditions through unself-aware beer goggles. I mean, I got great feedback. I would even go so far as to say that I got awesome feedback...well...except for that one...

...there's that occasional rough one where it goes right to crap in a handbasket (or something like that). It's an unfortunate thing. Mid monologue you feel the air in the room thicken. The moments of silence between lines defy the rules of space and time and turn to eons. You keep the words coming, stay focused, connected. Afraid of losing the honesty, but mentally you acknowledge the fateful fact: You are straight sucking.

It's a truth we all must come to terms with: Sometimes, you suck. That's just the way it goes. I'm lucky that I have confidence and seem to have procured the skill of shaking off the “shitty” fairly quickly. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm my own worst critic- judgmental and impatient and hard on myself. But there comes a point where, after all is said and done, if you sucked, you gotta get over it. Or, much like trucking, you'll just keep on sucking...

Initially, I try and go into auditions with the mentality that I'm gonna have a blast, entertain some folks, and act the crap out of whatever I'm performing. And, even when I accidentally suck, turns out that keeping this mentality tends to reward me redeeming qualities in the eyes of my auditioner. I usually throw some jokes out there, lighten the mood. And, generally it works in my favor.

So, yes, I had one fairly unfortunate audition, BUT I had plenty of others in the past days that I feel pretty damn amazeballs about (...it's an industry unit of measure...). I received lots of incredible feedback that, luckily, far outweighs the suck. I was in the final running for parts in a commercial and a film, but eventually lost out in the final round. Grr. But, such is life.

On top of auditioning for all sorts of things, I've spent recent days running from the gym to working and then to meetings...

A short while back, I was working an event as a brand rep for a very technologically advanced phone. (You can imagine my surprise when I realized the job I was booked for...Me. The Tech-Tard.) I quickly fell into my own lingo as I rattled on to savvy entrepreneurs about the “Super fancy phone” with an “awesome camera”. And the “durable glass screen that could protect the Pope”... not quite what was in the script, but I think I made it work... :-/ Essentially, I spent the week of “work” hanging with co-worker friends, chatting with super interesting people and networking. AWESOME! I was even offered a full-time job at a toy company on the spot. ...It was oddly tempting! But, I didn't take it.

Commencing. With Emily Tuckman.
In addition, the show I was working on, “Commencing”, has opened, closed, and incidentally, re-opened and re-closed. We were awarded the opportunity to have an encore performance based on positive audience reaction. A nice achievement for the production. All in all, it went well!

I've also started an On-Camera class with a Casting Director I've been eying. She does a lot in the Indie Film world. Our first class focused on cold reads (get a script, look over it for 5 minutes and then perform it). Now, in this scenario, I'm lucky that my reading skills are good and I'm an intuitive actor. The class went really well: feedback like this: “Wow. You fucking nailed it.” is pretty much exactly what you want to hear. She even called me in to an audition this week! Mission: 'get on her radar' accomplished. :)

And, as usual, the anxiety of ending a show has settled in, so I'm getting to work setting up even more auditions with the hopes of lining up my next projects. I'm also printing new headshots, designing new business cards and postcards, and staying on everyone's radar with updates...whew!!

...coming soon.
Then there's The Wellness Project. I am beyond excited. Thanks to my amazing partner pretty much learning to write web-code as we go, our website is coming together! (though not quite ready for release into the wild) We have tons of potential partners lined up and a photoshoot in the works to procure pics that accurately represent our brand. Bahhhh! It's all happening. And I am so. pumped.

Goodness. Life is cray.

Oh, and I'm “training” for my first running event! I was challenged ...and we all know I don't like that. I signed up for a 15K in April. This weather is keeping me glued to a treadmill and I am slightly losing my mind. ...if one can lose their mind only slightly...

Anyhow, I'm now SUPER over the Winter. All this bullshit snow is getting to me. The sight of coats makes me cringe. My feet ache from being imprisoned in boots. My skin is a shade of pale yellow that I am not even a little okay with. Ugh. So... in a moment of bravery and pure winter exhaustion, I did the unthinkable! …I told my friend I would go on vacation with him! My first since college! Ah! Watch me as I get over my anxiety and fear of commitment and book a ticket to...Belize!!!

Aaaaah! Not until Labor Day. But still!

In the mean time, you can catch me running around this town clinging to my sanity or on the treadmill like whoa. ...I'm just thanking baby Jesus for the 90's hip hop Pandora station. It's the only thing getting me through.

No diggity, no doubt, y'all.
...pure Pandora poetry...

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tourette's Got Your Tongue? ...becoming Fun Aunt Sarah and what it means to be unconditionally loved.

I felt his eyes on me from the other side of the pole. All dark features and somber mood. Deep wrinkles. The kind of guy that if the train were sparsely populated, I would have casually switched cars. He nudged closer to me. I was temporarily grateful for the oddly placed pole in the middle of the seats.
Clearly my headphones were no deterrent. He was determined. I saw his mouth move to inform conversation...
Ah, Shit.
I tugged on one earbud.
His voice was deep, “Excuse me...Did you have a good day?”
I turned toward him, all breathy laughter and caution. “Sorry?”
“Did you have a good day? ...You just...look happy.”
“Oh.” more half-laughs, “I did, actually, have a great day. Yes. And you?” All niceties. Still one earbud deep.
He broke into a smile. His features softened and somehow he suddenly morphed from terrorist to teddy bear. “Mine was...just terrible. Haha! Please. Tell me about yours.”
His suddenly sweet demeanor won me over and I fell hard in stranger-love. Pulled the other headphone from my ear. Quick, sharp: “...I'm an Aunt!” I blurted it out. Like Tourette's took over my tongue. Just like that, I became the weirdo. It was absurd! But, in my defense, I hadn't really been able to say it out loud to anyone and the excitement was freakin' killing me. I figured there was a reason for this random interaction, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to take my opportunity.

The nice terrorist and I spent the next few stops chatting about babies and family and being away from home. I showed him a picture of our Family's newest addition (I know, I know...I'm THAT girl. But this whole “Aunt” thing is new, give me a break!). He wouldn't tell me about his terrible day, said it wasn't as important as a new baby. We strangers parted ways, bonded over a newborn in Atlanta. I got off the train, all smiles and interesting new energy. He was a lovely man, the terrorist. We never even exchanged names...

Long story, long: Baby Watch 2013 has produced results! After an emergency C section because the cord was wrapped around his little neck (scary), we have a new Jacobs! And everyone is healthy and happy and absolutely, insanely adorable! (Thank God. We all know I'm a terrible liar...)

Reece Patrick Jacobs
I spent the day full of excitement (still am, actually). However, It's events like this that I realize just how far away from the action I really am. I wanted up to the minute newsflashes. Though, the group text from my Mother wondering if he'd peed yet I could have done without...

It was a big day for us here in Jacobs land. My bro is a Dad (which is nuts beyond belief). And the little peanut really is cute! I mean the first picture they sent me was all gooey and gross and I got totally creeped out, but after that was all remedied, he really is super adorable! I can't wait to meet him and teach him about girls, and New York City, the importance of phyto-nutrients, and all the stupid shit his Dad did as a kid... So. Fun. ;)

My new nephew is a lucky little guy. Aside from having a nursery that's nicer than my apartment will ever be, and gadgets like the “Diaper Genie” and a “My Breast Friend” (this is a real product. Udderly ridiculous ;), he is completely surrounded by insane love and unending support. We don't know who he is, yet, but the beauty is that in truth, it doesn't really matter.

My brother and I are so lucky that our family awards points for simply being us. Anyone that knows both of us can tell you: we are different. Very different. But somehow we were both supported equally in our endeavors. Pushed in our various directions with love and support and encouragement.

We grew up surrounded by open minds and accepting hearts. Exposed to many things. Spoken to with respect from early on. The hard questions answered. The tough moments dealt with.

I hear that my Brother asked my Mom at lunch just after Reece was born “how long does it take before they aren't so fragile.” She responded scientifically with an answer about him gaining muscle control and the ability to lift his own head. But I know from experience that we never really lose that fragility.

My parents have supported me through struggling with my own life choices. Talked me off ledges, and loved me through moments when I felt completely unlovable. Showed me my worth when I was unsure I had any. And guided me through the shitty and the terrible in search of the life that I want. It's only through their support that I was able to realize that if I kept grasping at straws, my life would inevitably suck. And they helped me get deliberate. Calculated. Patiently helped me figure myself out in my own way and in my own time.

And, it must be hard to watch your kids figure their shit out. If it were easy, more parents would support a life in the arts like mine have - even though it's completely foreign to them. But, they were always OK with who I am and what I want. Accepting of me for all of my crazy: A vegetarian at age 14. Each nail a different color. Growing older into an odd mixture of intense feelings and blunt pragmatism. All eff bombs and brutal honesty. The girl with hard boiled eggs in her bag and a green juice in her hand. Patient with me when I send not so subtle care packages to them filled with nutrition books and vitamins.

They allow me to not be content with being content, and to not stop until I make a life that excites me and drives me. One that doesn't just allow me to breathe, but actually fuels my breath. ...and in a family that doesn't really talk about feelings, they let me bare myself on the freakin' internet. They read my words and accept that I value an open book more than a closed one. They permit me to get all emo and internal and sappy (like I am right now). With no judgment in sight. ...jokes, for sure. But never judgment.

Like Reece, I am so. damn. lucky.

And, like me, he'll be loved unconditionally. Selflessly. Wholly.

No matter what kind of crazy he turns out to be. :)

In the meantime, I'm just gonna try to keep my Aunt-ness in check: keeping the Tourette's episodes to a minimum, only showing pictures to those who ask...those sorts of things...But, dammit, this is my blog and I want to share one more:

Are you kidding me with this cuteness?!?! ...and coming from me, that means something.
More on Acting updates coming soon (I've been busy as all hell, but hands down, Baby trumps those tidbits).

Signing off for now, for the first time ever as
Fun Aunt Sarah.
...I'm gonna love this gig. :)