Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tourette's Got Your Tongue? ...becoming Fun Aunt Sarah and what it means to be unconditionally loved.

I felt his eyes on me from the other side of the pole. All dark features and somber mood. Deep wrinkles. The kind of guy that if the train were sparsely populated, I would have casually switched cars. He nudged closer to me. I was temporarily grateful for the oddly placed pole in the middle of the seats.
Clearly my headphones were no deterrent. He was determined. I saw his mouth move to inform conversation...
Ah, Shit.
I tugged on one earbud.
His voice was deep, “Excuse me...Did you have a good day?”
I turned toward him, all breathy laughter and caution. “Sorry?”
“Did you have a good day? ...You just...look happy.”
“Oh.” more half-laughs, “I did, actually, have a great day. Yes. And you?” All niceties. Still one earbud deep.
He broke into a smile. His features softened and somehow he suddenly morphed from terrorist to teddy bear. “Mine was...just terrible. Haha! Please. Tell me about yours.”
His suddenly sweet demeanor won me over and I fell hard in stranger-love. Pulled the other headphone from my ear. Quick, sharp: “...I'm an Aunt!” I blurted it out. Like Tourette's took over my tongue. Just like that, I became the weirdo. It was absurd! But, in my defense, I hadn't really been able to say it out loud to anyone and the excitement was freakin' killing me. I figured there was a reason for this random interaction, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to take my opportunity.

The nice terrorist and I spent the next few stops chatting about babies and family and being away from home. I showed him a picture of our Family's newest addition (I know, I know...I'm THAT girl. But this whole “Aunt” thing is new, give me a break!). He wouldn't tell me about his terrible day, said it wasn't as important as a new baby. We strangers parted ways, bonded over a newborn in Atlanta. I got off the train, all smiles and interesting new energy. He was a lovely man, the terrorist. We never even exchanged names...

Long story, long: Baby Watch 2013 has produced results! After an emergency C section because the cord was wrapped around his little neck (scary), we have a new Jacobs! And everyone is healthy and happy and absolutely, insanely adorable! (Thank God. We all know I'm a terrible liar...)

Reece Patrick Jacobs
I spent the day full of excitement (still am, actually). However, It's events like this that I realize just how far away from the action I really am. I wanted up to the minute newsflashes. Though, the group text from my Mother wondering if he'd peed yet I could have done without...

It was a big day for us here in Jacobs land. My bro is a Dad (which is nuts beyond belief). And the little peanut really is cute! I mean the first picture they sent me was all gooey and gross and I got totally creeped out, but after that was all remedied, he really is super adorable! I can't wait to meet him and teach him about girls, and New York City, the importance of phyto-nutrients, and all the stupid shit his Dad did as a kid... So. Fun. ;)

My new nephew is a lucky little guy. Aside from having a nursery that's nicer than my apartment will ever be, and gadgets like the “Diaper Genie” and a “My Breast Friend” (this is a real product. Udderly ridiculous ;), he is completely surrounded by insane love and unending support. We don't know who he is, yet, but the beauty is that in truth, it doesn't really matter.

My brother and I are so lucky that our family awards points for simply being us. Anyone that knows both of us can tell you: we are different. Very different. But somehow we were both supported equally in our endeavors. Pushed in our various directions with love and support and encouragement.

We grew up surrounded by open minds and accepting hearts. Exposed to many things. Spoken to with respect from early on. The hard questions answered. The tough moments dealt with.

I hear that my Brother asked my Mom at lunch just after Reece was born “how long does it take before they aren't so fragile.” She responded scientifically with an answer about him gaining muscle control and the ability to lift his own head. But I know from experience that we never really lose that fragility.

My parents have supported me through struggling with my own life choices. Talked me off ledges, and loved me through moments when I felt completely unlovable. Showed me my worth when I was unsure I had any. And guided me through the shitty and the terrible in search of the life that I want. It's only through their support that I was able to realize that if I kept grasping at straws, my life would inevitably suck. And they helped me get deliberate. Calculated. Patiently helped me figure myself out in my own way and in my own time.

And, it must be hard to watch your kids figure their shit out. If it were easy, more parents would support a life in the arts like mine have - even though it's completely foreign to them. But, they were always OK with who I am and what I want. Accepting of me for all of my crazy: A vegetarian at age 14. Each nail a different color. Growing older into an odd mixture of intense feelings and blunt pragmatism. All eff bombs and brutal honesty. The girl with hard boiled eggs in her bag and a green juice in her hand. Patient with me when I send not so subtle care packages to them filled with nutrition books and vitamins.

They allow me to not be content with being content, and to not stop until I make a life that excites me and drives me. One that doesn't just allow me to breathe, but actually fuels my breath. ...and in a family that doesn't really talk about feelings, they let me bare myself on the freakin' internet. They read my words and accept that I value an open book more than a closed one. They permit me to get all emo and internal and sappy (like I am right now). With no judgment in sight. ...jokes, for sure. But never judgment.

Like Reece, I am so. damn. lucky.

And, like me, he'll be loved unconditionally. Selflessly. Wholly.

No matter what kind of crazy he turns out to be. :)

In the meantime, I'm just gonna try to keep my Aunt-ness in check: keeping the Tourette's episodes to a minimum, only showing pictures to those who ask...those sorts of things...But, dammit, this is my blog and I want to share one more:

Are you kidding me with this cuteness?!?! ...and coming from me, that means something.
More on Acting updates coming soon (I've been busy as all hell, but hands down, Baby trumps those tidbits).

Signing off for now, for the first time ever as
Fun Aunt Sarah.
...I'm gonna love this gig. :)


1 comment:

  1. HOORAY! And Congratulations!
    We're the fun aunt and uncle up here.

    It's a little different for me, My nieces and nephew came with the package. But They're amazing little people and I thoroughly enjoy my time with them. We remark on a regular basis how crazy it is that they just love me unconditionally. (And I them)

    You'll be a great Aunt. That;s for sure. Enjoy this gig to it's fullest. It's yours for life. No take backs. And the best part...you get to give them back when you're done playing with them!

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