Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Seeing Eye Sarah

“So, we have one blind woman.”
The group leader said this to me like it was a normal thing to come across on a shopping tour.
“I'm sorry... Did you say there's a blind woman on this shopping tour?”
“It's ...challenging...but, it should be okay? No?” It was a question.
“Ok. Yeah. Uhh, sure.”
...well, this was a first.

I scanned the store and looked over the large crowd of middle aged women from Winnipeg. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which one she was...

I introduced myself and quickly realized that I was in for quite a day, in the most interesting and unexpected way. “I'm blind.” she said to me matter of factly. “Can't see a darn thing.”

I spent the day with the 68 year old woman glued to my arm, guiding her through the busy streets of Soho on a Friday afternoon. Talking through every curb, every cobble stone, every hurried New Yorker breezing past on a mission. Evelyn* lost her sight at the age of 40, so she remembered colors. Orange is her favorite (though she did meet a man in GA once whose eyes almost made her change it to Blue).

New York, a city very much for the sighted, became a tactile experience. For both of us. We discussed the change in energy from Broadway to Mulberry, the softness of the silk blouses and the oddness of faux leather skirts. I described in detail all of the jewelry as I guided the pads of her fingers over the stones and metal - a very important job because she needed to pick a “special piece” to wear to her Belly Dancing classes (that she teaches!). We painted pictures with words and I tried to explain the minutiae of the city scenes to put finishing touches on her imagination.

Evelyn couldn't experience NY like a sighted person, she knew that. But, as she explained to me when I asked her about her condition, it's not changing. She didn't want to sit at home and feel sorry, because “that's no fun.”

It got me thinking. When Evelyn was my age, she had no idea that she had 10 years left to see everything she wanted to see. That, soon, color and shape would be an association made by memory.

Meeting Evelyn came to me at a good time: While I've adopted the mantra “Brave in 2013” - a task I started January 1st. Call it a freak-out about turning Dirty-Thirty. Whatever. I've decided to do the things that I always assumed I'd do, just...Later.

But, the truth is, who's to know what gifts are present today that won't be tomorrow - like sight. So, why wait?? (And, don't worry, Mom. No sky diving. The mantra is “Brave In 2013,” not “Effing Stupid in 2013.”)

One experience on my list of awesomeness was to run a race. And folks... I've done it! I have successfully run a 15K (FYI that's 9.3 miles. Why they go by Ks I'll never understand. Aren't we in America?). Not only did I run the whole thing (which was really my only goal), but with a time that I can be nothing but super proud of.

This accomplishment was a special one for me for a number of reasons. I've always been self conscious about my efforts as a runner. I mean, dancers don't run. This is common knowledge. But also, those close to me know that the past year hasn't been the easiest. I've had a few health scares that shook the shit out of my usually active life. Some auto-immune issues left me unable to walk up stairs without my legs giving out, with bald patches popping up on my head, and my brain in a perpetual fog. It was terrifying. My stomach was so tied in knots that even leaving the house was a feat. Whole new meaning was given to my “Hot-Messiness”. Honestly, I kept it very quiet, but I was kind of a wreck.

I know. I know. This is news! ...Surprise! But for as public as I am about a lot of things, I can be a pretty private person. I just like dealing with things on my own. And when the shit hit the fan, I wanted to get myself healthy before I opened this one up to the outside. (And healthy without prescription bullshit, might I add. Just eating and lifestyle changes!)

And so, here I am. A year later. I just ran 9.3 miles at a 8:21 per mile pace.

Mission. Accomplished. :)

(Picture taken by Sophie Watson, a great friend and runner, herself. Up very early to cheer my little legs on. She even made a sign :) ...what would we do without good friends??)

Next on the horizon is to launch The Wellness Project. We are so freakin' close we can taste it in all it's organic, all natural glory. We have a video in production for the website, our LLC is in formation, the newsletter design is in phase 2, and we have a photo shoot this weekend to populate our library with brand aligned pics. HOLY. SHIZBALLS. My heart hurts I'm so excited.

Also in the past few days, Fun Aunt Sarah made another appearance! This time in NYC! Nugget takes NY was a success and I got to spend some quality fam time with the whole crew.

As for actory news: Auditions popping up all over the place (and Callbacks, too). I also rocked a 3 week On-Camera class (a great connection made with a well-respected and awesome Casting Director). She was so kind as to speak with me afterward about a targeted approach to gain solid representation and book bigger roles. Word for word: “You have huge chops. You're really good." I can't tell you how amazing it felt to get that kind of validation from someone who auditions hundreds of actors all the time. It was a necessary boost to my confidence. Over time, this biz starts to f*ck with your head. Confidence wanes and you need a good reminder.

Also on the near horizon, I will be performing again soon! I just signed on to do a short play festival mid-May after being contacted by the writer. I'm excited to work with her and the other actor involved. It's a short commitment, but should be an insane amount of fun. Can't wait for our first rehearsal to get in and play! My body's itching to get back into performance mode.

So bravery is the business these days. I'm bolder in my exchanges and putting myself out into the world as much as possible. It's always been a little hard for me to own my accomplishments and sell myself, but the older I get, the more I realize: Ain't nobody gonna do it for me. (...and coffee helps.)

It didn't take Evelyn to open my eyes to the importance of staying brave, but it was a nice reminder that life is here for us to experience. Now. As we are. However we can.

So I plan on doing just that.

I mean, let's be honest, no one ever got any cool shit done by being a wiener.

I'll leave you with that bit of brilliance.
...You're welcome.

(*her name is not Evelyn. It's pretty close though...)

Monday, April 15, 2013

Small but Scrappy.

Let's do some word association, shall we? -

Feet. ...Hurt.
Back. ...Ache.
Hand. ...Punch
Patience. ...What the fuck is that.


...ohhhh, you see a theme...

Y'all, there's a lot going on right now! I've been running my midget legs all over this town, and it is taking its toll on my vertically challenged, little body. There is not a pair of shoes in my closet that can rise to the challenge of providing my throbbing arches with comfort. Not to mention who knows what's going on with the freakin' weather?! Is it cold? Is it hot? Is it raining? Is lightning striking my fire escape? (this did actually happen. My roommate screeched like that mouse I trapped in a box a while back) But seriously. Holy hell, you guys. I'm cooked.

The everyday pull of my limbs in different directions is starting to get to me. Sleeping is troublesome. Palpitations are normal. Fists are instinctual.

Something's gotta give.

And yes, even I occasionally, with my rogue smiles at strangers and overly chatty tendencies want to slam my elbow into the grill of some too-cool-for-school-silly-hat-clad-Ayn-Rand-reading-Hipster on the God forsaken, crowded Soho street. It happens. ...And its happening this week. ...You've been warned.

...Sooo, I'm in a mood. Looks like I need to seriously chill out. For the sake of my sanity and for the sake of that smelly hipster's teeth.

My anxiety from the acting front stems from the fact that I don't have any solid acting gigs lined up in the near future. Which is unusual for me. I have a number of 'potential' projects that may or may not happen. Things people want me to be a part of, but need funding or finishing. And in the meantime, I just go to a lot of auditions that I'm not really invested in. I'm fiending for a character that I'm excited about. But I'm sure something will spark my energy soon. Something always does.

Also adding to my fighting spirit, I've had some ridiculous encounters with the opposite sex recently. It seems I've been a magnet for the absurd when it comes to Men. Example: I was stopped on the street and chatted up by a seemingly normal, well intentioned guy. After a couple minutes of chatter he comes out with this statement - “You're smart. But you should really tone down the wit. It's an unattractive trait in a woman.” umm...WHAT?!?!  I stared at him. Head cocked to the side. Eyes narrowed. “Well. Hmm. Interesting...” I said, even tempered and analytical. “...And it turns out that being a fucking idiot is an unattractive trait in a male. WHO KNEW?!” I heard his voice fade into the distance attempting to back-pedal as I walked away laughing in complete astonishment. Un-freakin-believable.

And aside from these fiery feelings, there's also this weird nostalgia I'm contending with. I usually get it around this time of year - right when I feel the beginnings of summer imminent. I get the first hint of schvitze on my forehead and feel the first breeze on my bared legs and I get transported back in time to lazy, summer days when the air smelled perpetually of strawberries and hot dogs. In stark contrast to the now, life was devoid of responsibility except for the nagging issue of getting back home in time for dinner. Where the biggest problems were what boy was snapping my bathing suit strap and how much longer until adult swim time was over. Goodness, I miss those days. Every now and again I get irrational feelings about times long ago. Immense sadness that I've lost something and can't get it back. Like when you leave your cell phone in a cab. I realize it's just the nature of how time works, but it doesn't change the struggle with accepting it.

Anyhow, as far as The Wellness Project- with serious changes looming on the horizon I'm getting a bit overwhelmed. Not only am I contending with this incredibly erratic schedule and last minute things popping up like whoa, but TWP is coming to fruition, getting more and more real. It's actually creating a buzz and people are starting to contact us about what we have in the works. It's a little scary to think about the end result. ...Holy hell, can we really do this?

I mean, yes.
Of course we can. 
And it's going to be some kind of amazing. :)

So, in the middle of dealing with life's ridiculous, Lord knows, I am workin'! Money jobs by day (LOTS of tours going down this time of year), The Wellness Project by night, writing/auditioning/connecting in the middle. Attempting to stay at least a little charming so my tips don't suck and my dates aren't terrified.

I think I will take a little me time this week, though. Go for some walks. Maybe even hang by the river and (gasp) finally finish reading the book I started weeks ago (granted it's about the proliferation of processed foods, but still...). I could even take a dance class. Go back to my roots and try to work it out from the outside, inward.

Some major Spring Cleaning needs to go down, too. So, it's a week of new beginnings! Tidying up my hot mess of an apartment and my brass knuckled attitude.

It's a big job, but I got this gig.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Flounder in Southern Waters

So...I cried. Upon walking up the stairs of my brother's house, I saw my Mom appear from around the corner. In her arms, all squirming and alive, a little nugget of a human. ...and I effin cried.

Not face contorted, weird breathing ugly cried. More like my eyes were leaking unexpected emotion. It was stupid. I then proceeded to exclaim genius statements- “Oh my gosh! It moves!”  And come to alarming revelations- “he's so small!” And ask brilliant questions- “how does this thing work?” 

Intellectually the miniature model stumped me. Though, instinctively I scooped him up and seemed to know just how to hold him all snuggled into the crook of my elbow. I touched his little face and held his (actually freakishly big in comparison to his body) little hand. Stared into his deep blue eyes that look like he knows answers to questions we don't even know to ask. They are surprisingly wise. ...well, at least until his muscles relax and he goes all cross eyed. You guys. He is seriously freakin' adorable.

very intense conversation.

So, clearly, I went home to ATL. I got in a healthy dose of Fun Aunt Sarah time, which goes hand in hand with a healthy dose of experiential birth control. Yup, don't worry, friends! My own uterus felt nothing but relief upon handing the little peanut back to his parents. Nothing. But. Relief. 

Ain't nobody got time for that.

As usual I spent my time at home maximizing every valued second. The quality of my activity was quantitative because the time was ticking - Meet the new nugget and spend time with the Bro/Sis-in Law combo pack, shop with Mom, run errands with Dad, hang with Grandma, catch up with an old friend over Thai dinner, help throw a Wedding Shower for my bestie... go. go. go...

Wedding Mania.
So, as the Maid of Honor to my long time best friend, Becca (simply one of the most amazing people on the planet), I was one of a few hosts for her wedding shower. Thank God for the Matron of Honor, our other awesome childhood friend, Kate. Because, talk about out of my element! All the chatter about invitations and dish patterns and matching serving platters.... Wow. I was a NY single fish thrown into suburban wedding waters. I overheard more than a few comments that went something like, “...she's Becca's old friend. She's an actress from...New York.” said as if that somehow explained, well, me.

 It came time for gifts and I had to laugh. Wild guess which one is mine??

My hot mess of color in the sea of black and white.

It is so interesting going back home. Seeing the life that I could easily have ended up living. And, honestly, realizing just how unfitting it would have been. I mean, my nail polish is always chipped, my dishes will probably never match, I seriously suck at tennis, and I fucking love the eff word. According to Southern convention, I'm kind of a big 'ole disaster. I do love to go back to GA. I love my southern roots. But...I really don't think I make a damn bit of sense there any more. I'm a NY city girl. Done deal. ...y'all. ;)

After the trip, needless to say, I'm tired. But I got what I needed. Family time. City escape. And everyday a good power-ballad, warm-GA-sun-kinda-run. And now, after I slept in today until an unheard of 10:30am, I am ready to get back to business and focus my crazy, lab-puppy energy into my city life again.

Before I get to updates, permit me to go back in time a moment to a week ago, as I was sitting in an audience watching my own words be played out on a stage. Remember that Short Play of mine that was being produced? Well, it happened! While I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, I realized something about myself: turns out I might be a little bit of a control freak. I mean, don't get me wrong, the actors were great! It was great! I so appreciated the preservation of honesty and connection to character, as the interpretation of the script could easily have gone straight to the absurd. But, I just really wanted one rehearsal with the actors! I just wanted to work the scene with them, tweak moments and get to play! It was such a weird experience for me. Being on the complete other side of the process. I'm super grateful for the opportunity and I actually want to fine tune the script. Maybe I'll try my hand at writing some more pieces of that nature. Who knows?

Anyhow, back to the present. I'm back in city and I've slipped seamlessly into my NY groove. (Seriously, I walked in the door from the airport, dropped my bags and turned right around to meet my friends for our annual Easter brunch. It felt great to be back with my peeps.)

5 Easters together and going strong!

So, now I'm back at the NY Muffins Cafe, Green Juice in hand, one ear listening to the singer-songwriter station earbud style, the other eavesdropping on a couple of hipsters contemplating painting a living room mural of an octopus and a rainbow. You know, to signify new beginnings ( think I'm kidding...).

I'm home. :)

Now, onward! I'm getting my eating back to normal after an Easter pig out (you should, too! Check out Smart-Mouthed for steps to an easy spring cleaning of your bod). We're prepping for The Wellness Project photoshoot coming up at the end of the month. I'm setting up auditions and getting back to the hustle. I have energy like whoa and the sun poking out here and there is fueling my fire.

I've got Spring in my step, friends. Time to make shit happen.