Big Country Blues Trailer

Big Country Blues Trailer
Sarah e Jacobs recognized as OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES at LA Webfest! And nominated for BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA at ITVFest! Click to watch the trailer!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Itching for Inspiration

The antsy, can't sit still, burning need to do good acting work has slowly been building to bonfire proportions. A Director of a Music Video asking me (from a reclined position on a couch) if I'm “cool with shoving cake in my mouth and pouring beer all over my body” while I “chill for the day in a bikini” didn't help the situation. After being the only girl over the age of 22 in the holding room, I was in no mood to play along. “Umm..I think I can do the cake/beer thing. But, ah, I think I'm more of a tank top/short shorts kinda girl...”

...Needless to say, I didn't get the part.

Seriously, I am fiending for a challenging role. No one has asked me to puke into a toilet, get raped in a stairwell, or sleep with my boyfriend's bestie recently and, by God, it is starting to get to me. Color me disillusioned. ...whatever the hell color that is. I've been losing the love.

BUT all it takes is one. One performance to suck you back into some kind of sick actor-love. Last week, I had an audition for a feature that re-sparked my fire. It was of the emotionally intense variety. My brain's been all over the place and I worried I wouldn't be able to stay in the moment. But, after my usual preparation (which includes a specially picked song playing on a loop) in the audition room I was able to find the sweet spot. The place where connection to the script allows for truth and you don't have to push. It just comes at will. I left totally spent with my makeup hooker-smeared across my face, but fully reminded of why I keep at it. Some weird love reinstated for the cathartic work.

I needed that reminder. I've been so focused on my life as Nutritional Nancy that I feel like I've neglected my creative spirit a bit. I've been feeling less than inspired. I need to find some new music, read a good book, fall in love with a stranger, dance it out.

Timing is a funny thing, as I was just contacted by a girl on the other side of the world about contributing to a book about living a creative life. I was asked to explain my process and talk about what it means to live creatively. After writing my contribution, I realized how important that part of me really is. …It's totally weird how life feeds you people and things you're hungry for right at the perfect moment.

My friends being silly and awesome.
Anyhow, speaking of feeding, back to Nutritional Nancy – That bitch is in full effect! Not only have I taken on a couple personal Health Coaching clients, The Wellness Project is gettin' real, y'all. After stock photography proved sterile and expensive, Rachel and I put our heads together and devised a plan. We rounded up a group of people for a symbiotic photographic experience of awesome. I pulled from my actory base, Rach's brother-in-law happens to be a kick ass photographer, and we rented a cooperative work space in Greenpoint to stage our own photo shoot and populate a library of pics for us to draw from. I was in awe of the incredible people that came out to participate. It was one of those fulfilling, great days. ...exhausting beyond holy belief, but great.

We've had a few set backs, but we keep plugging away. Piecing things together little by little. I feel like we're right on the brink of things getting a little bananas (in the best way).
Rach and Me day of the shoot. A happy tired.
But first, it's back to ATL then onto Florida to celebrate my best friend's last days of Singledom. I'm prepared to have some crazy fun hanging with the girls, drinking a bit too much, and making bad decisions. It's been way too long...

So, barring any appearances on the next installment of Girls Gone Wild and ensuing law suits, I should have a blast! My friend deserves a killer party, so we're hoping to throw her just that.

I can't wait to get my head out of the game. Rest the brain a bit and recalibrate. I think my creative energy just needs a quick break reminiscent of my early 20's. Just to, you know, dance on bars and down Vodka Sodas.

Yeah, that'll totally help. Nothing says "Inspiration" like a limo full of drunk, married girls in penis tiaras.
Betcha can't wait for those pics...


  1. That's a great opening anecdote about the music video audition. It's cinematic, so quickly and concisely is it conjured. You may write that screenplay one day.... In any case, by the time I finished reading everything, my face was smiling and I'd already exclaimed with delight a couple of times, in no small part to lines like this: "No one has asked me to puke into a toilet, get raped in a stairwell, or sleep with my boyfriend's bestie recently and, by God, it is starting to get to me." This agitation has been building over several of your posts here, and you've given this non-thesp a visceral sense of the jonesing, the deep-in-the-bones yearning for the act of channeling some realness, for being possessed, as it were, by the restless spirits of the script.

    The photoshoot coup is an inspiring bit of resourcefulness. Bring on the bacchanals (and the penis tiaras?). Thanks for writing.

  2. Thanks! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. Really. Means a ton to me! I'm glad you got a few smiles going. That's all I ask. :) Thank ya much!